After everything that happened with his sister, thing were tense with his brother. He had lied to him, let him live in this little world he made up to forget his sister. Not that he blamed him for it, not after remembering what his sister had done to his best friend, what she attempted to do too his current best friend. There was so much weighing down on the young detective and what happened during that call was one of them but he would prefer to deal with this one more. It was less complicated than dealing with the aftermath of holding a gun to your brother and then to your own head. He cared a lot for Molly there was no denying that fact, she was also the only one to actually love him.
He knew that the young doctor standing in the room with him had some concerns, perhaps she still felt he’d walk away from her and their friendship. He wouldn’t blame her for thinking that considering who he was and that he’s done something like that before. After all this would they need time apart from each other? Would they be able to stay apart from each other? He didn’t think so, there was something there, he was a flame and she was a moth. Sometimes if she got to close she would get burned.
Each time he tried to think of how they could fix this, his mind went blank it was the first time in a long time something like that ever occurred to him. He was a brilant man and he was able to retain information about anything you could want to know, if it was useful anyways. For this though there was nothing and he felt like he was drowning in a sea of thoughts, struggling to stay above each little currant that threatened to pull him under. He would be of no help to either of them he gave into those types of thoughts.
She still held the look that carried her anger but there was concern there as well. Something he still felt confused about, how could she still care so deeply for him and how he was after everything. A soft sigh passed his lips as she started to speak about him not deserving it and he gave a sad little huff of a laugh.
“I am trying to do that but these help me remember what happened that night. Serves to remind me that I can easily be played. That I care and feel”
She was sad, he didn’t need to look at her or even hear the sadness in her voice to be able to tell that. It was in everything about her, the way that she looked down at the tips of her toes, the way that her shoulders slightly hung down, the air was thick with each of their sadness. Look how far they have come together, there used to be so much distance between them.
Then suddenly she became one of the most valuable things to him, not just because she let him into the lab but because she saw him. She saw him ways that no one else did, not even John who likes to think that he knew the detective better than anyone. She may be one of the few people that didn’t think he needed to feel the things that he felt. He didn’t say much after she repeated his words to him, he had changed a lot since the start.
There was a soft smile on her face that made him feel just a touch bit happier about everything. As long as she was smiling then perhaps, just perhaps this was how they started to fix things. They both wanted to fix it, they were both just unsure of the steps they needed to take to get them into the right direction. He just wanted her happy in the end, no matter what it cost him.
The next few moments came in a bit of blur to him. Something had lifted from all of the haze that was clouding all of his thoughts. He was looking at Molly and it was all so clear to him, this time when he felt those words rising to his lips he knew they were true. There was no motive this time she wasn’t in danger he wasn’t on a time clock. This time he knew he meant it and there was no hiding from that feeling.
Eyes met with his and the words came more freely than they ever had. He was in love with Molly Hooper, she deserved to know it outside of thinking it was some trick or some game that was being played. She deserved to know that the detective felt that way even outside of her telling him that he had to say it first and sound like he meant it. This time it was all on his own free will.
Her words almost hurt when she asked if he meant it this time, though she had just cause for asking him that. He gave her another gentle smile before one hand was moving to her wrist, fingertips laid softly against her pulse point. A habit of his to see how a person was truly feeling, her heart was racing and he was almost sure that his was as well.
“I mean it this time, Molly. I love you, no tricks, no games.”
Heat was touching her cheeks with a soft red color, his eyes watched every little breath she took the way that her eyes seemed to get a little shine in them. A clear sign that she was happy once again. She was trying to speak and for a painful moment he was worried that she wouldn’t be able to say again. Then she was speaking once more saying the words back to him and he let go of a breath he hadn’t been aware he had been holding. A smile touched his lips before he was swallowing thickly. It was a whisper he leaned down slightly placing his forehead against her own, it was just something that seemed natural. When he spoke it was a whisper as his eyes closed slightly,
“I’m sorry, I caused you so much pain.”
Molly was trying to understand her own thoughts as she stared at him. Her mind was always flooded with a hundred of thoughts, and she couldn’t even understand half of them. In fact, if she could understand half of them she bet things would be a lot easier. If her mind was so confused, then how was Sherlock’s mind like? Much worse, she believed. Even though the detective had a clever mind, even he couldn’t avoid feelings.
Molly couldn’t be more worried about him, even the day of the fall wouldn’t compare. Oh, no, she was much more worried now because things involved his whole family, Mary’s death, and all the friends he had, including herself. The woman knew that Sherlock wasn’t good at dealing with his own feelings, so it must be even harder for him to handle this mess.
Her angry look was more like a facade. Not that she wasn’t angry, because she was still a little upset, but because the concern was much greater. Though she tried to conceal it for a moment, she was sure it was perceptible, after all, how wouldn’t it be? Even being irritated could be considered as an act of concern. The sad huff of a laugh, and the following words just confirmed all her speculations.
"I— I don’t like to see you this way…“
The words came out of her mouth in a timid whisper. It wasn’t easy for her to see someone she cared deeply for feeling this way. Caring was a disadvantage and maybe Molly couldn’t do anything to change his mind about that, but did he really need to feel this pain? If she could do anything to make it better for him, she would.
Things could get better. Maybe they would never get back to the point before the call, but things could be good again, they just had to make the right decisions, both of them, and then maybe this could happen.
Molly wouldn’t lie, it was hard for her to say those three words again to him. Especially now that they were in front of each other, looking at each other. Although she was too nervous to say those words once more, Sherlock, somehow, also seemed to be nervous. Was it something she was imagining, or was he really nervous?
Well, it doesn’t matter, to be honest. Just hearing those three words coming out of his mouth suddenly without anyone forcing him was priceless, and probably meaningful. However, how would things be from now on? Oh, she was clearly tense and nervous. The fact that she was squeezing her shoulders as she looked into his eyes surprised made everything clear, and she wasn’t worried about hiding it. No, everything was so spontaneous and new to her that she wasn’t worried about it. All she wanted was to understand the situation they were in now. That should change things in a way, right? The female hoped it would change for the better.
At first, the doctor was too insecure to believe his words completely, probably because she was shocked, but after some minutes processing what he said, he seemed genuine. The female was certain of this after hearing his words saying that he meant it. Another soft smile touched her lips.
Molly never thought it could really happen, especially since she had loved him for a long time. Hearing Sherlock saying those three words, hearing him say ‘I love you’ made her happier than she had imagined, and although she didn’t have much hope that this would really happen someday, she had imagined.
He meant it this time, he said it, and it was the final proof, and the pathologist believed him. No tricks, no games, just the two of them alone in a room, no pressure, no one to hear them expressing their feelings except for the two of them, so she should believe him. Things were so confusing in her mind, even after his confession, because she didn’t know how things would be from now on, but deep down she wished they wouldn’t need a time apart from each other. The woman knew it was something new to Sherlock, but what she didn’t know was how he wanted to deal with his feelings, and that’s what scared her. Everything was so uncertain for her, even their future was something she couldn’t see clearly yet. Yet, there was happiness within her after his sudden confession, happiness because she wished it to happen for a long time.
Flush crept up her cheek once more, hearing those honest words coming from him was something she had always wanted, and that would be enough to explain how nervous she seemed to be. Eyes still fixated on the man in front of her, sheepish smile finds its way onto the female’s face. The situation they were in could be easily compared to a roller coaster, full of ups and downs and and each one reacts in their own way. How would Sherlock react after expressing his own feelings? Anyway, it would be a surprise to Molly, in fact, it was already. Pain, happiness, irritation, worry, what was she supposed to feel now? Only Sherlock would guide her actions now, and together they would be able to choose the path they were going to take.
The young doctor finally confirmed her initial thought that maybe he was also nervous when his body relaxed and he finally was able to breathe after he heard Molly saying that she loved him. And that smile he gave her was also another proof. The smile, she would never erase that smile from her mind, for a moment it meant the whole world to her because beyond hope, she assumed that it also meant that, at least for a brief moment, in the middle of the storm he was facing, she was able to make him smile, a small act of happiness.
Then he leaned down, and his forehead touched hers. His words almost pained her. A brief moment of silence as her hand moved slowly to one of his cheeks touching him gently, her fingers moving softly over his skin. It was everything so spontaneous and genuine. No second intentions, no angry or irritation, just the two of them sharing their feelings, being completely honest for the first time. Innocent words finally making things clearer between them. Sherlock was so touched, so hurt, yet his smile gave her life.
"I— It’s alright…” It was a whisper, then a pause. The vulnerability Sherlock was showing her was as pure as his words, and now she just wanted to take care of him. “I know you didn’t want to hurt me. It’s okay…”
