I asked my loving partner to marry me yesterday đ„°đłïžâđ
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@agador-spartacus
I asked my loving partner to marry me yesterday đ„°đłïžâđ
btw we're at the "cops use ai to invent evidence against you" level
"I like being lied to by the police, it's good for building trust!"
one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.
I love not playing along
"she's gained a lot of weight lately" "oh, good for her"
"on the wrong side of 40" "huh, which side is that?"
âïžI am not playing along with youâïž
Ever since I was a little boy I knew I needed to be deeply ashamed of my desires wants and of course also needs
Someday people are going to post ads like this with captions like "the future we were promised..."
Understanding that there is no objectively good art has many benefits, but a favorite of mine is being granted the ability to see that you hate corporate memphis for the same reason people hated fruitiger aero ten years ago, and that people will like corporate memphis ten years from now for the same reason you like fruitiger aero now: because it's the opposite of the thing that's in popular use right now, and reminds you of being ten years younger
The process is beginning
kesha - joyride (official video)
Hmmm...
internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you donât get the physical copy but you still get all the great content
#iâd illegally download you all
reblog if youâd illegally download your followers
apparently the director of the no fucking til marriage movie is like "it's not the sex purge movie, that's not what it's about" but my guy I'm sorry you made the sex purge movie. that's what you did. like describe it however you want but conceptually the film is about a nation wide sex fest on the one day a year fucking is permitted by the state, that's a sex purge. the film can be about a wholesome romance happening during the sex purge but it is definitely the sex purge.
Wait ok so vanity fair just came out with an article describing the rules of the sex purge & apparently it's enforced bc the us government literally chipped its citizens like dogs with biomoniters that glow green when you're allowed to fuck. what in the conservative vanilla hell đđđ
also apparently queer people in this universe just said "no thanks" when it came to this ban which is kind of based actually:
was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"
62 & 71
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
Put on a maid dress đ«Ł
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
When I was a boy scout I would fantasize about doing stuff with a friend in the woods. I mean we did mess around a little but I wanted more đ
Thank you for asking!
vaguely nsfw asks
1. Are looks important in a relationship?
2. Are relationships ever worth it?
3. Are you a virgin?
4. Are you in a relationship?
5. Are you in love?
6. Are you single this year?
7. Can you commit to one person?
8. Describe your crush
9. Describe your perfect mate
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
11. Do you ever want to get married?
12. Do you forgive betrayal?
13. Do you get jealous easily?
14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
15. Do you have any piercings?
16. Do you have any tattoos?
17. Do you like kissing in public?
20. Do you shower every day?
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
24. Do you think youâll be married in 5 years?
25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
26. Has anyone told you they donât want to ever lose you?
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
28. Have you ever been cheated on?
29. Have you ever cheated on someone?
30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?
31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
38. Have you ever liked someone you didnât expect to?
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldnât have?
40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?
41. Have you had sex so far this year?
42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?
43. How long was your longest relationship?
44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?
46. How many times did you have sex last year?
47. How old are you?
48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
52. Is there anyone youâve given up on? Why?
53. Is there someone mad because youâre dating/talking to the person you are?
54. Is there someone you will never forget?
55. Share a relationship story.
56. State 8 facts about your body
57. Things you want to say to an ex
58. What are five ways to win your heart?
59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)
60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
63. What is your definition of âhaving sexâ?
64. What is your definition of cheating?
65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?
66. What is your favourite roleplay?
67. What is your idea of the perfect date?
68. What is your sexual orientation?
69. What turns you off?
70. What turns you on?
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
72. What words do you like to hear during sex?
73. Whatâs something sweet youâd like someone to do for you?
74. Whatâs the most superficial characteristic you look for?
75. Whatâs the sweetest thing anyoneâs ever done for you?
76. Whatâs the sweetest thing youâve ever done for someone?
77. Whatâs your opinion on age differences in relationships?
78. Whatâs your dirtiest secret?
79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?
80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
81. Who are five people you find attractive?
82. Who is the last person you hugged?
83. Who was your first kiss with?
84. Why did your last relationship fail?
85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
Matthew Lillard and Angelina Jolie as âCereal Killerâ and âAcid Burnâ in Hackers (1995)
previously unseen genders in human history