[dankmemeuniversity]

[lucid-dreemurr]

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

[stillhereunfortunately]

open sims roleplay

‘Oh feebee lay…’

[stillhereunfortunately]

[cumguzzler38]

[fluidpuck]

Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,

As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;

But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;

Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.

[transiting]

don’t make other people’s decisions for them. apply for the job you don’t think you’ll get. let them decide if you have the skills they’re looking for. tell that person you like them even though you think they’re out of your league. let them decide if they like you. stop trying to predict and control everything. bring what you have to the table. let the rest go.

[casadelanime]

imagine you woke up tomorrow and video games had…. disappeared……

[yardovich]

no……just thinking about it makes me….oooouuhh……….hoo boy…that ones gonna sting in the mornin

[cozyqueen]

[natehankz]

she doesn’t have the range

[sneakyfeets]

Doorbell: *rings*

Dog:

[higgzorz]

cowboy love story

this town……….is big enough for the two of us

[writing-prompt-s]

“Dad, why aren’t we allowed to go outside?” your daughter asks one day. But she already knows. There is no outside anymore.

[the-very-essence]

then why the fuck did she ask

[writing-prompt-s]

hmmmmmm…..

[unclefather]

[greglestrade]

Interesting that I’m crying

[lovelydeck]

Her shoe just right for her got dan feet

[gaylor-moon]

[the-letter-why-in-parenthesis]

I’m not into pranking people, so I decided I’d show you some animals that look silly instead.

Andean Cock of the Rocks (ALWAYS WATCHING)

Arabian sand boas (DOING THEIR BEST)

Dik diks (SMALL?????????)

Softshell turtles (SMOOTH BOYS)

Christmas tree worms (FESTIVE FRIENDS)

Saiga antelopes (I LOVE YOU BUT WHY)

Baikal seals (ROUND BOYS)

[evilvvitch]

I refuse to believe any of these are real

[taibhsearachd]

Tibetan Foxes are also very good:

[mrrrjjjreblog]

All of these look like my attempts to draw animals

[end0skeletal]

I would like to add the Indian purple frog

[nightlifemingus]

i’m sorry to say this, but it has come to my attention that in disney’s descendants, dopey the dwarf has a son named doug — which means that canonically, dopey has fucked

[acoolguy]

and he will continue to fuck unless we find a way to stop him

[antonnizhny]