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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@fluidpuck
i love going about my daily life and then remembering suddenly that the highlands will likely never be able to heal from the effects of the hunting estates and even if we could try and heal the land it doesnt even matter because global warming is going to change everything
feel like pure shit just want her (caledonian pineforest) back
is he.... you know.... your narrative foil?
I love Anton Chekhov
this is a
callout post for Robert Burns
Is there context for this particular callout or just because of who he is as a person
Also
@deadkings-x
I mean….do we even need a reason?
My country. My queen.
Sovereign land of winter green.
Blessed moors, high mountains grand,
Wild seas and silver sands.
I’ve but one true love - Alba fair.
Where ghosts twist and lurk in the summer air.
— tread softly, for you tread not on my dreams but on the very heart of me.
A Beautiful Undulating Kinetic Sculpture of Migaloo the White Humpback Whale Swimming Above the Waves
you are under no obligation to remain the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a day ago. you are here to create yourself, continuously.
by Mitsuru Ezaki (1952-)
Medievalists of Tumblr: what inaccuracies annoy you the most in movies set in the Middle Ages?
Mine is probably the 'everyone was constantly caked in mud and only wore grey and brown' aesthetic.
Same. Also the idea that “women were property so they did nothing but sew and have babies and the time was inherently backwards and violent”
the complete absence of christianity from pop culture perceptions of the medieval period really bugs me (or it being relegated to the fringes and a few monks somewhere)
like... this was a major part of most people’s daily lives even if it didn’t necessarily look like christianity as we know it. also medieval theology is fucking wild! where are all the debates about cannibal babies in pop culture medieval stuff? WHERE is the twelfth century werewolf renaissance? the fuckign infancy gospels?? give me weird medieval theology you cowards
A lot of them had already been mentioned, so may I add
"The dishes were only bland soups and maybe some moldy bread"
I'm studying English language and literature, not History, but like... Pork vs Pig... Deer vs Venison... Cow vs Beef... May give you the idea THEY FUCKING ATE MEAT AT LEAST GODDAMIT
And not even like we do
Where's the feast with venison? The ridiculous amount of salmon and other fishes? The little gardens full of spices? Or the trade of exotic foods? Slaughtering season was celebrated in some places not that much ago (like... I saw one when little), why not portray one?
And more importantly
WHERE'S THE CHICKEN WITH HELMET???
GIVE ME CHICKEN WITH HELMET OR GIVE ME DEATH
Yeah, and for better or for worse they were much less picky about which animals they ate than we are. Porpoise, anyone?
Medieval people loved their spices; The Forme of Cury has a lot of flavours I'd associate more with Indian food than anything else. Even if you weren't a wealthy seasoning-loving king like Richard II, you could still have garlic, onions, and herbs.
Also please link me a picture of the chicken with helmet if you can, I need to see this.
Here it is
Here's a link with more info. Apparently the dish is called Singing Chicken... But that's a chicken with a helmet
In Medieval times, food was medicine, religion and status. And in Medieval feasts, an art-form The Medieval poor mostly ate pottage - basic
This is the best thing I've ever seen.
Hollywood has a tendency to portray the past as “just like today, minus whatever of today’s things we know they didn’t have.” There’s no concept that the past had things that today doesn’t.
Like bawdy medicinal tips.
@candiceirae
The idea that people used spices to cover spoiled meat is similarly stupid and utterly infuriating.
And yes, the gaping absence of religion from depictions of the Middle Ages is jarring.
All of this, but mostly that they existed in a sepia toned world with no color, pattern, or texture.
Going off the colors of textiles, the assumption that their textiles were always crude and rough compared to today's. Think of the twills and brocades! The cloth of gold! The silks, and the wool so gauzy you could see through it! The soft wool clothing! The quality and variety of fabric we have available has plummetted since the industrial revolution.
beyond conventional spices the medieval cook and especially the resourceful housewife would have been exploiting herbs by the fistfull on a level we today cannot comprehend, like we dont even know what some of the names of herbs they used even mean anymore and they grew them like suburban homeowners today grow ugly border hedges. whatever soups they had access to had a decent chance of being something that would be 100% locally grown and every bit as flavorful as any regonal dish today withiout having to resort to saying ‘well they could possibly have been eating curry’ instead of giving them a flavor identity of their own. just because ‘spice’ isnt readily available dont assume ‘flavor’ is out of reach, the aromatics they used would be on par with the modern french concept of mirepoix but, moving past the kitchen the two things that irk me are that everyone toiled miserably and everything was grey stone, rudely carved buildings, shoddy construction unadorned well yeah, if you went to a decrepit ruin thats been abandoned for centuries it would look like that, but not when people lived there! you see the shows and movies and sweet baby cheese the kings residence looks like a dank basement and sometimes he doesnt even have a change of clothes when castles were in use they were prominent displays of power and wealth, whitewashed so that even small amounts of light reflected well inside them so that they illuminated well, paintings and murals in a riot of colors and displaying personal tastes, tapestries that may be the local lords wife, aunt, or grandmothers gift to them as tappestry making was a popular hobby at court where women gathered to gossip and giggle while making vibrantly colored decorations that are usually dismissed because the only ones that survive had endured about 500 years of sun damage, smoke damage, and uncertain cleaning history
that clearly showed the people of the time valued color, had style, and only occasionally made horses look like a dog made out of play-doh. even people who didnt live in a castle still had access to paint to liven up the plaster walls of their homes, brightly dyed fabrics and flowers were as available to them as and they sang, constantly. what we assume was a life of toiling in the mud from dusk till dawn the whole year was typically a relaxed paced life of 10 hour a night sleep in a comfortable bed where work didnt start untill you had your flagon of ale and a song with your buddies as you walked to the field, you sang as you worked, took three ale breaks from work while singing, and then you sang as you walked to the tavern so you could sing while you played nine mens morris or cheated at mancala because you thought the miller was too soused to notice. we barely know any of the songs they sang and humanity is less for it, a scant handfull of them do remain and its just beautiful to hear what a table of tavern patrons would break into song about to prove they werent too drunk for another round song and story were all day every day, theres a reason the most well known middle english text was canterbury tales- whose narrative was that a selection of travelers on the way to the same location had an ongoing bar-bet about who could tell the better story, asking bartenders to judge the complexity of these stories, all of which were absolutely valid as just shit you would say to another drunk in a tavern, would give modern soap operas a swift kick in the pants and its sad that it takes a historian to tell you just how crass and lowbrow humor they were on a similar vein to how so many people somehow forgot that shakespear was lowbrow humor for the commoner and not somehow too sophisticated for rubes it wasnt just bards who would own an instrument, instruments are wood, leather, string, bone/horn, or even clay... those are all commonly available and affordable if not straight up FREE items to someone in the medieval world so a hefty chunk of the population would have an instrument and know how to use it, anything from a wood flute to a simple drum to an ocarina. many designs were even specifically for travel so you could always have it at the ready
how about this- in all the versions of robin hood i have -EVER- seen the most historically accurate any of them got was the scene in kevin costner ‘king of theves’ where friar tuck was singing to himself while on the road ‘women wine and whoring’. not just because its one of the only times in any medieval period movie ive seen someone singing to pass the time in the mind-numbing hours of traveling before the invention of the car radio, but ALSO because they based the tune he sings off the classic ‘ Bache Benne Venies’, the oldest known drinking song we still know the words and tune of and let me tell you that song slaps talk to me about historical accuracy in movies and ill tell you that tolkein writing hobbit songs for walking, drinking, or describing what an elephant was was more historically accurate then all of GOT passed through a sieve to collect every grain of stray element of medievalness gaily dressed hobbits full of pie, sitting in a well decorated room full of beautiful hand carved furniture, on their fifth ale, and singing about the man in the moon getting shitfaced is about ten times historically accurate as most anything else i can think of if you ignored the historical accuracy of them being hobbits
There's like a two hour rant somewhere on YouTube about how there were so many musicians back in medieval times that it annoyed the piss out of everyone
Everyone was trying to make a living as a musician with string instruments and it was the bane of everyone's existence
Like sound cloud rappers trying to get you to listen to their mix tape
It was a colorful time
enough musicians that it actually tanked the reputation of one instrument so old it was a popular greek instrument due to the greeks loving the idea of ‘continual’ music and thus had also been used in churches for centuries to provide atmospheric accompaniment to mass that it dropped into total obscurity
because this beast was a popular instrument for the blind as it could be operated entirely on feel it was their primary way of begging for enough money to live on, however due to being blind they couldnt maintain it themselves nor could scrape up the money to pay someone else to upkeep it so the sound of them became irritating enough that our modern name ‘hurdy-gurdy’ is actually an insult based on its irritatingly out of tune sound, much like if we as a society started calling banjos ‘the pling plang’ or ‘the sound of incest and illiteracy’ pause and consider that though- THIS was the instrument considered the go-to item for a blind person? this fucker is almost as complex as a modern violin! yet every town had street corners claimed by a blind person playing one of them loudly in hopes of someone throwing a halfloaf of bread at their head
if it wasnt for the recent revival of pirate/viking media which puts out a demand for this kind of sound (which, ironically, neither setting would hear as they both HAD favored instruments and this one had fallen out of favor literally everywhere other then eastern europe a century before the age of piracy) and someone who both upkeep and knows how to play one of these will make you believe that bard is the only legitimate class because this music can warp time and edit memories
In The Knight’s Tale (I know, I know, bear with me), there’s this one bit where they’re going to the festival & they walk by this guy performing. He’s doing a 1 person passion play (the denial of Christ, I think) & at least 1 or 2 folks are just standing there watching him. There’s some casual religion for you; it’s entertainment folks!
Anyone in this thread know what medieval people in the middle class ate? My friend has been trying to find stuff out about it, but can only seem to find ‘rich people food’ or ‘gruel’.
... ... We're you thinking of me, or asking me? I can tell you more. The trick is that it doesn't always show up in cookbooks but a lot because they are asprational. You just had to adjust down. but people kept extensive journals and foodies were a thing. Keep in mind that the middle classes were different than they are today.
You can tell a lot by the grade of bread someone got. Also, especially post enclosure, lots of things were on a favor system so they sort of trickled down. If you were well connected you would get invited hunting and get a share. You would give some away, and then those people might eat the best bits and give the less choice bits as gifts. So humble, umbles pie could actually be a middle class dish.
To answer the original question, even though history is only a hobby interest of mine, I play a lot of fantasy RPGs and it only takes a little detail to make the settlements feel more lived in, I wish I didn't have to do so much of it myself. Lots of settlements would collapse because some vital enterprise is missing. And it's a setting not a story so you can't just assume they exist out of frame.
There's no blacksmith in this entire county, no loom, one bakery and like 4 travellers inns in every hamlet... It's also deserted because that doesn't work.
Thank you for the added info, I love food history.
And thats ignoring the amount of water trade happened, and the silk trade
That's true! The Indian Ocean had a huge amount of maritime trade.
greek gods as @dril quotes
zeus: how come a baby born with a foot in its brain is considered a “Miracle Baby” but when I get my dick stuck in a drawer im just some asshole
poseidon: my body is 70% water mother fucker. guns cannot harm me
hades: I will tell you this right now: I’m from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
hera: “horny” has killed more people than all the volcanos on earth combined
athena: and to the guy who said i have shit for brains: youre right. i do have… four brains……….
artemis: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
apollo: i just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
hephaestus: back in the dog house after the wife caught me photo shopping her into vintage car ads
persephone: “i wish they got, WiFi down here” - guy who died in the paris catacombs
dionysus: “sir, can i ask why you’re smoking TWO huge blunts?”
“officer, I’m…”
*turns to camera*
“double jointed”
*cop starts breakdancing*
ares: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. “war is the most fucked up thing ever.” he takes a sip of beer
hermes: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
aphrodite: looks like im forced to address false rumors that i own 3 dildos on a shelf labelled “breakfast” “lunch” & “dinner”. this is an absurdity .
by Annita Maslov
Smoked Whiskey Hot Apple Cider
i have returned
dear god, when will that stupid hot tub poem be laid to rest
here’s the thing now: at what point am i brave enough to tell peat and diesel that i’m trying to put them in a musical
Do it. Doooooooooooo it. Get Boydie to do a cameo. What could possibly go wrong?
@pog-mo-bhlog who does boydie get to be
here’s the thing now: at what point am i brave enough to tell peat and diesel that i’m trying to put them in a musical
Reading Munster rapparee / Jacobite ballads here, and basically, these are the main plot types so far:
‘I got drunk with the sidhe’
‘I got laid with the sidhe’
‘the sidhe gave me a helping hand in beating the bloody shit out of my enemies, who also conveniently happen to be the enemies of King James and Prince Regent Charles Edward, God bless ‘em’
‘my one true love went to be a gallant rapparee and everyone says he’s dead and tries to make me marry someone else BUT GUESS WHAT HE’S BACK TO CUT DOWN Y’ALL TREACHEROUS FUCKERS’
‘let’s cut off our enemies’ heads and play shinty with ‘em’
‘let’s go to Mass before we continue to the heads shinty part’
‘my wolfhound is really cute, as well as this deer and this songbird’
‘wars are generally awesome, but we’re losing this one, so it sucks’
Absolutely love these.
