shark vs the universe
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@aibremlk
Honestly I think a lot of whatever jealousy Shane might feel towards Svetlana is alleviated the first time she calls Ilya “our boy” in conversation with him. I think the sheer euphoria of his partner’s closest friend since childhood acknowledging Shane’s significance to Ilya and that Ilya can/does belong to both of them at the same time would be like drugs to him. Like yes that IS our boy! #ourilya
They won't change their last names officially but Shane and Ilya very much have a "what is mine is yours, what is yours is mine" attitude to it.
They arrive at a restaurant, Ilya leading Shane inside, smoothly telling the maître d': "We he have a reservation for Hollander." "Of course. Would you let me show you to your table, Mr. and Mr. Hollander." And Ilya looks so proud and so happy and Shane squeezes his hand tightly.
Ilya wants them to have new bespoke suits for the NHL awards, he got a rec for that hidden gem of a Québécois tailor, and makes Shane call him. Shane rolls his eyes, they have enough suits yet he indulges his husband. He stares at Ilya across the room when he calls and says. "J'ai besoin un rendez-vous pour deux personnes. Oui. Mon nom est Rozanov." Shane only notices after ending the call, blushing slightly, but Ilya comes sauntering towards him, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. "Oh, Mr. Rozanov it is, I see. Maybe we should swap."
They go on a family vacation together with David and Yuna and Ilya introduces them with "We are the Hollanders" to all the other hotel guests.
Shane introducing them as "We are Shane and Ilya Rozanov." to the new neighbours.
It's exciting and comfortable at the same time these little moments of being so openly married, of being seen a family together, and for this it really doesn't matter which name they use.
Shane and Rose getting drunk and she shows him some of the guys she's been talking to recently. One thing leads to another and she tells him how well one guy sexts and how hot it is and Shane gets a little bit sad and embarrassed. Eventually he tells her that he sucks at sexting and it's a bit of an insecurity of his because the guy he's seeing is very good at it.
She tells him to give her his phone and takes the matters into her own hands typing out some filthy stuff, but she doesn't send it. She shows it to Shane and he gets absolutely terrified that it could get to Ilya. He snatches the phone out of her hands and just turns everything into a joke.
Later that night he hides under a separate blanket and tries to remember everything she wrote, but in his own words. He ends up sending the message to Ilya in a surge of drunk bravery and turns off his phone for the night.
He wakes up to 23 new messages from Rozanov and some sexual threats he can't wait for Ilya to bring to life when they meet up next.
*whispers into my coffee cup* help me
Ilya stares at their bedroom ceiling. Laying awake after a stupid dream that made his heart race and his throat close up.
Beside him, Shane is sleeping soundly.
He should just let it be, let him sleep. But, the thing is- Shane made him promise. Promise to wake him up next time.
Which would just be dumb. And unneccesairy. Then we would both be awake, what is the point? But Shane had just repeated his request. Promise.
With a sigh, and quite a bit of shame clinging to him for what he is about to do, he turns and gently strokes over Shane's arm.
"Mh? Wha-?" Shane shifts onto his elbow to look around the dark room instantly. "Is it Anya? Is she throwing up again?"
The concern in Shane's voice over Anya (who had an upset stomach a month ago and they woke up to her retching) makes Ilya smile softly and push closer to him.
"No. Is me."
"You?" Shane's voice is rough from sleep and Ilya noses at his throat before he settles on his shoulder. "Yes."
"...Is your stomach okay?"
"Mhmh, all good. I had a nightmare."
"Oh." Warm arms wrap around him immediatly.
The way Shane squeezes him and presses several kisses against his hairline makes Ilya breathe out. Relieved that Shane's not annoyed with him. He knew he wouldn't be. Of course he wouldn't be. He made him promise to wake him. But, still.
"That sucks. Tell me about it?" The words are sleepily slurred together, which makes Ilya smile again.
"Mh. No." He turns his head slightly to place two pecks on Shane's chest, lingering on the second one. His hand sneaks under Shane's shirt and rubs over his stomach, a soothing back and forth. "Is all good now."
"Mh'okay." There is the slightest voice crack which makes Ilya's smile grow at the memory of Shane high as a kite on pain killers all those years ago.
"Glad you woke me up."
"Me too."
One day, Ilya makes one joke too many about Shane having a "weak backhand" so, of course Shane "Anything you can do I can do better" Hollander gets a hat trick in his next game with exclusively backhanded shots. Ilya has never been so horny in his life. Ilya also does not stop making the weak backhand jokes.
ilya not even being aware that he's a dom before he meets shane he just throws out get on your knees because it's hot and he's horny and he's expecting shane to tell him to fuck off or something but then quickly realizes oh okay so i guess this is what we're doing
“are you texting your friends?”
no im reading about brutal murders of the marauders characters and jegulus’s problems
has anyone drawn this with Shane & Ilya yet
Op the vision is hilarious, you win
okay stay with me for this one.
When Ilya moves to the Centaurs he doesn’t get to keep his number. Some old fuck on the team already has it and refuses to trade, no matter how much Ilya bribes him.
so, in true Ilya Rozanov fashion, he picks the number 24. People think he did it to be an asshole, which is true, but he also did it to have Shane with him all the time. Shane was both infuriated and touched by it.
but then of course, years later, SHANE transfers to Ottawa. And lo and behold, the old fuck who had number 81 retired, so when Shane has to choose a number?
81 is available.
so the first day of training, Shane walks into practice in a jersey that says Hollander, 81, with an absolutely shit-eating grin on his face.
and Ilya goes insane.
I love silly and maybe a little awkward sex hollanov i love ilya talking a big game and then coming in two thrusts because shane is tight and they haven’t seen each other in weeks and shane giggling saying well you better be ready for round two i love shane saying just give me a fucking second when ilya enters him because it’s a lot and the angle is weird so he has to wiggle around like a worm i love both of them having a laughing fit because the bed squeaks like crazy and they can’t take it seriously i love ilya throwing everything off the bed because they can’t find the lube that was just there two seconds ago
shane hates feet they’re gross out some socks on guys jesus
(hayden had learned early on to always wear socks in their hotel rooms because shane would have palpitations if he saw his bare feet on the public carpet)
except ilya is allowed to be bare feet and sleep without socks and it’s totally cool because that’s ilya’s toes they belong to ilya and something that is ilya’s can’t be gross so of course he’s allowed to be barefoot fuck off hayden
Peter makes scary faces at Sirius when nobody is looking & the rest of the Marauders don't believe Sirius when he complains which makes him feel crazy
Remus Lupin who whacks people's ankles with his cane when they're being annoying
sirius: how dare you, james? date my brother!? james: but remus dates a black brother too! sirius: oh, and what if moony jumped off a cliff? would you jump too? james: if moony jumped off a cliff it would be a smart and calculated decision, so yes! remus: if i jumped, it would be for suicide purposes james: sirius: peter: sirius: baby we talked about this
Really? :D
