Pepperoni Nip Nops

Insta: reach_for_the_bleach Snapchat: queenlaquwifa •Eat•Sleep•Rave•Repeat•

[dipbrowpomade]

I adore the catfish episodes when it turns out to be the actual person 😭💗

[harryedward]

I hate those episodes I only watch for the deceit and lies

[taggediconic]

[thebootydiaries]

concept: u and i go to the aquarium for our first date. u are nervous as u try to hold my hand. but u accidentally knock the cracker out of my hand because ur a piece of shit and u don’t use ur eyes. there goes my damn cracker. look what u have done. i run away screaming and never return ur phone calls. it’s been three years and u still write to me occasionally but i never answer. where is my cracker

[penicillium-pusher]

my counselor: how are you doing?

me: good, how are you?

my counselor: good, what brings you in today?

me: im doin real bad karen

[lilmissvirgo-deactivated2022070]

me watching my own snapchat story: she is so damn funny i love her 

[draumboosky]

I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom

[draumboosky]

My dick has been on fire for over an hour

[draumboosky]

I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”

[draumboosky]

He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.

[draumboosky]

She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.

[draumboosky]

So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.

[draumboosky]

She fucking CUMS

[draumboosky]

And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me

“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”

And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

[deicide4122]

Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.

ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.

[draumboosky]

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF

[afroclusterfunk]

its serialized. he’s a modern day dickens

[the-memedaddy]

Me_irl

[dutchster]

when it’s cold outside

[rasec-wizzlbang-blog]

NO

[greelin]

raccoons and their… little hands

[taradiddled]

[m86-deactivated20171116]

take these with you. it will be important in your quest

[dxnnis]

[poesss]

[versaceslut]

[mexicanheaux]

Sometimes u just gotta make yourself a quesadilla and move the fuck on

[mexicanheaux]

The worst part about this post??? People saying “with cheese!” Bitch cheese is literally in the word if it had no cheese it would be a dilla

[astora-deactivated20200904]

in some places a quesadilla doesnt include cheese

[mexicanheaux]

[neckkiss]

SAME STUFF

[lesbianshepard]

if you get a message from me asking for bitcoin it’s fake because i have no idea how bitcoin works and i will only ask you for cold hard cash

[danger]

[tumblingtumbleleaves]