things

arguably an artist // i just reblog stuff here // seasian

[rubysapphrald]

i didn’t know perez hilton was a stage name that he purposefully modelled after paris hilton’s real name i thought she just organically had an evil gay wario or something

[afieldinengland]

just overheard a mum in the museum ask her seven-year-old child ‘shall we say bye-bye to the skull?’

[icantspellthings]

Top 3 things people love insisting they don't have despite it being impossible

Pronouns

An accent

Bias

[loki-zen]

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

[mtndewpitchblack]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: and who exactly is cleaning the floors after all this. right /End ID]

[thetidemice]

three hares plate 🐇🐇🐇

[eroscestlavie]

when you’re a gay lion and you accidentally tried to introduce your lesbian lioness friend to one of her own exes at a gay bar and she goes into the bathroom and bitches you out for not being able to tell her endlessly rotating cast of girlfriends apart which isn’t really fair because first of all they all keep dyeing their hair different colors and second of all she keeps getting back together with different ones at different times and meanwhile you’ve been “single” for like 8 months but are spending a lot of time with one specific guy who works at your old co-op and were going to excitedly tell her about it tonight but now you’ve ruined the whole subject of dating by trying to introduce her to her own ex at a gay bar (which is a watering hole. because you’re lions.) 

[machine-unlearning]

My flu isn't all that bad, but I had a super weird flu dream about a world where if you died and your body hadn't been found yet, all your online accounts would keep posting in a mildly annoyed tone from the pov of the corpse. None of the posts were creepy, just stuff like "Stuck laying facedown in my bed forever #mybedforever," and because it happened somewhat regularly it was all treated pretty normally, some kind of “the spirit hasn’t moved on yet” schtick. And it'd be a little tragic to find out grandma died from her facebook post "the cat is sniffing my face... he can tell I'm not breathing but is so very polite and not eating me yet... 🤣🐈😿" but it'd kind of be last words in a way and at least more personal than hearing she died over the phone from some coroner.

The main awkward thing was sometimes the person behind a big tumblr would die and their tumblr would start corpse posting, but none of their mutuals know them irl to recover the body, so you're all stuck waiting as days pass and their account keeps corpse posting, with the knowledge that nobody from real life has checked on them, and that when someone eventually does they'll find a decaying corpse

[64mpg]

i hate when things aren’t my business #whatisgoingon #dontleavemehanging #tellmesomethingplease

[entities-of-posts]

The Beholding

[just-shower-thoughts]

Babies are socially accepted parasites.

[onion-souls]

When u read Ayn Rand 1 time

[unfitninjuh]

They’re not a parasite, they’re a potential investment

[onion-souls]

When you read Ayn Rand a dozen times

[sailermoon]

I’m actually always thinking of that “maybe I won’t die cause I’m special” tweet

[sailermoon]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tweet from scorpy (@/ Socpens) reading: maybe ill never die becuse am special /End ID]

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[molabuddy]

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

[iapislazuli]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[iapislazuli]

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

[compassionvi]

the thing about piracy is that i know i deserve everything for free forever

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[esthermika]

[vaguemylk]

[ID: A digital doodle of a nondescript character with wide eyes, lying on its front, reading a large book. Above it is the text: "I am reading" and below: "pornography". /end ID]

[biocrafthero]

perceived skill

[gelphienation]

and you know what? Maybe I do tag my “blorbos” in a lot of random people’s unrelated posts but I’ve never tagged a man in a post about a woman. Which is why unlike a lot of other people I’m still going to heaven

[gelphienation]

actually everyone else is going to heaven except this person sorry

[airyoe]

[ID: Tumblr tag reading, “I don't tag blorbos so I’m going to super heaven”. End ID]