i'm a sucker for him

my poetry is gay because i am. 18+ content (check other TW's before continuing) //  Al Yen, he/him, achillean / gay, word weaver, fictional persona. head over heels for and owned by @jules-hazard

[al-yen]

you get used to sleeping at the sounds of explosions and gunfire

# war in Ukraine

home, sirens, shelter. mom's Syrian friend gives her safety and survival advice. our American and Russian friends keep in touch with us, worried. those who come to Russian squares to protest and get beaten and arrested by the police and SWATs fight for us in the ways they can.

my friends are in Ukrainian war front line and in the civilian territorial defense forces. Jules and I, being disabled, look out for each other, our parents and fellow shelter inhabitants. ensuring emergency exits, keeping connection with neighboring shelters, checking for saboteurs' marks on buildings and rooftops. my brother delivered a saboteur to the police office yesterday night.

we will get through this, everyone, together. us. people from the neighboring restaurant who fed us. a pharmacist who kept the facility open till the last person in the line. Ukrainians have each other's backs.

pray for Ukraine.

if you're willing to help us out, please do so here — any support is invaluable right now as we've lost our jobs and will soon run out of little money we have!

with love and hope, Al & Jules, your local dreamers

please, share this post

[valtsv]

i don’t usually make these kinds of posts but in the tags tell me what symbolic imagery you associate yourself with i’m curious. personally i associate myself with dogs, eyes, the color red, and wings.

[spiralthorn]

Horses, mugwort, hares, deep green, gold, and pink. The softness of petals, the smell of unearthed roots, the taste of sweet sapwater, the honkking of geese and the unrestrained unpredictable feel of watercolour

[lichennthropy]

Redwoods, sight hounds, hares, deer, late night thunderstorms, mandrake root, dragons, dark green and silver, ammonite fossils, and the feeling of ‘whimsy’

[visrightfist]

Lights from neon signs reflecting off wet streets and sidewalks, cats, foxes, clover patches covered in dew, garlic, cinnamon, vanilla bean pods, soft light yellow, bright green grass, soft rain on a warm summer night, fireflies at dusk, sunrise and sunsets with clouds in the sky with a rainbow of colors to be seen in them, muddy bike tires and scratched up skateboard decks, vampire fangs, small but crowded pop punk shows and the smell of weed in a smokey room with your best friends around laughing.

Ohhh @cyanocoraxx @al-yen and @jules-hazard you guys should do this at some point too I’d love to hear what you come up with 🥺

[al-yen]

smell of a pine tree, sand mellowing under your feet at dusk, tingly taste of metal, a feeling of nail polish on the nails, a sleek crow's feather, sandpapery texture of beans on cat paws, smell of dust stomped by heavy raindrops, greasy soil covering hands, larks flying low above the dusty road, evening dew, a sigh of relief in trees and grass after the day-long heat, that one window lit up throughout the whole night, a tree hollow

@wigilda wanna try? :)

[al-yen]

I've had my first publication! This news warmed my night at a bomb shelter at the end of February. So, check out "how to fertilize" in the March issue of an LGBTQIA poetry magazine Rough Cut Press :)

For now, Jules, his mom and I are in a safe place, aching for lives of our people and the home that was taken from us. Wondering if we'll still have a home to come back to after the war ends.

My mom stayed. She hears rockets wistling and gunfire ourside every day and night. She's not paid at her job that she is still doing remotely, and her landlord still requests rent.

If you'd like to support us, here's our Buy Me a Coffee page. Or you can support Ukrainian army through the Come Back Alive organization.

Please, make a difference.

And pray for Ukraine 💛💙

(reblog is much appreciated!)

[al-yen]

never heard an explosion in my life but now i know you won't confuse it with anything

[al-yen]

confessions time! [2]

i've just got a flash of a childhood memory

yet nsfw

i was a pre-schooler and my mom and i went over to her friend's place. i was friends with her daughter too. so as our moms were in the kitchen drinking tea behind the closed door my friend brings a video tape

'it's from my dad's stack, shall we watch?'

which is how i learned how cunnilingus is done in porn. i found it quite educational

(as ppl on the video looked adult i concluded this was something adults do. i wasn't an adult but i thought i'd become one someday so i diligently attended)

BUT after that video, i belived for quite some time that a partner who receives oral sex can sometimes accidentally not hold their pee (i mean, no, it wasn't squirt because the woman there said she needed the toilet and the guy was like nah it's okay)

so i took a mental note for my future self that you better visit the toilet before sex to avoid this discomfort

the worst part is

now that i remembered it i realize i now know that my friend's dad was probably into golden shower

not judging tho, it's cool when a person knows what they're into it's just that now i can't help but think whether he ever told his wife about it and fulfilled his fantasy

[al-yen]

confessions time!

when i was kid i believed that people needed to "catch a breath" from a kiss (as usually books would say) because you have to hold your breath as you kiss

so it made sense that a good kisser would be someone who's capable to hold their breath for long to give that romantic long kiss

and i thought i better be prepared for a possible future

which is why i used to train to hold my breath and note my results competing with myself

reached three minutes which i considered enough unless i was gonna date a free diver or a swimmer

[jewfrogs]

i see a man wearing nail polish and i have to avert my eyes lest my gaze become lustful

[al-yen]

glossy and sleek black

licked your fingers

leaving resin for saliva

i wondered

what that texture feels like

on the lips

and tongue

and you didn't even know my name

— am i gay or are these just intrusive thoughts

'words for my lover' @jules-hazard

[elvenfireworks]

So I found a picrew

@mccoys-killer-queen @ghost-writer143​ @yo-adrienne​ @terraspurpleworld​ @green-tinted-sixties-mind​ @kukkahattumursu​ and anyone else who wants to​

[wigilda]

i wasn’t tagged but this picrew is sooooo

(i mean. no one knows but i actually. don’t enjoy picrews very much. DON’T KILL ME PPL XDD)

it is really awesome and captures that quite chaotic vibe i think i have

yes. yes i don’t care about the colour theory i will just dump all hues i love. but obviously red belongs to the children hospital

tagging: @red-mister (it has a beard option btw!) @armenelols (elF EARS ELF EARS I LUV IT) @dramatic-weirdo @thesilverskull @al-yen @jules-hazard @roseusnoctua @lavenderrskies LITERALLY EVERYONE

[jules-hazard]

well, i totally had fun with this :)

tagging: @unbalancedscale @auroraismex @orchidace-ae and everyone who feels like trying it out!

[al-yen]

thanks for tagging @wigilda ! 💜

my gender is

[al-yen]

love is...

knowing he physically

can't drink any hot liquids

be it tea, or coffee, or cocoa

without a spoon sticking out of his mug

[al-yen]

love is...

trying to make the russian rolling R sound with the tip of my tongue against the palate of his mouth

failing

providing my mouth for him to try

twice

i love how persistent he is

in all matters

[futuremoji]

Your 9th, 17th, and 25th recent emojis reveal how your crush will react if you confess to them!

[al-yen]

@jules-hazard

[visrightfist]

IN NEED OF HELP! PLEASE READ AND REBLOG-

Agh, man… I know I don’t have a whole lot of tumblr followers, but to those of you who do see this, it would mean the absolute world to me if you could reblog this and get it circulating. It won’t get seen otherwise, I don’t have a whole lot of people in my life… So I have to rely on the internet to get the help that I need and I’m so scared right now. I’m in a really really bad spot. It’s all explained in detail in the GoFundMe description but to sum it up as quickly as I can: I recently was put on a medication called Abilify for my mental health and it has caused either an underlying heart condition to massively flare up, or caused my heart to do what it’s currently doing. We’re still waiting for definite answers and I’m still in and out of doctor and cardiologist appointments to figure out if this will be a life-long issue or maybe it will resolve itself in time. I truly don’t know what’s happening right now. I was just put on a heart monitor and need to turn it back in next week to get a little bit more answers. Unfortunately, due to my condition I’m not only out of work, but cannot drive myself anywhere. It’s too dangerous. The meds they have me on currently to help my heart is causing low blood pressure so I’m almost always lightheaded and weak and faint feeling if I stand up or walk for too long. I’ve just now been able to make it out to our kitchen to make myself food, but I have to make extremely quick meals. Which is further hindering my recovery because I’m also now on a strict cardiac diet and have to limit my salt, sugar, total fat, cholesterol and now my potassium intake because of my beta-blocker. They at first diagnosed me with SVT, supraventricular tachycardia, and when I have an attack it literally feels like I’m dying. My heart palpitates, races and pounds so hard that I feel short of breath, get lightheaded and dizzy, feel extremely nauseous and it makes me almost faint. My anxiety also kicks in making it all that much worse. I have almost passed out quite a few times from this. My heart rate when I have an attack gets up to 140+BPM and for me that’s extremely fast considering my resting rate is usually between 60-89. And as I said before, now I’m on a beta-blocker that does help keep my heart in check, but it’s lowering my blood pressure and causing more issues. I’m also, obviously, now out of work and before all of this hit I wasn’t just working full-time but was also the sole caretaker for my 72-year-old mother who has Stage D COPD and Emphysema. As well as taking care of our four cats, which come tomorrow (Sat. the 16th of Oct.), will only be three cats because I’m being forced to re-home out little baby Xena. My heart is not only fucked up but its breaking more and more each day. I didn’t want to lose my babycat, but in my condition I’m not fit to be her cat daddy anymore. She’s far too playful for me to keep up with, and she’s been stuck in our back bedrooms since we took her in because she’s aggressive to other cats and we didn’t know it would be so impossible to acclimate her to the other cats in the house. She will thankfully, and hopefully, be going to a home with a young couple who will have the time and energy she needs as well as a big ol house to run around in. It still hurts so badly that I couldn’t be the dad she needed. My job and my insurance company at my job has given me short-term disability paperwork to fill out but neither my cardiologist nor my primary care doctor will fill it out. They both said that the other person would need to do it. So right now they’re at a stalemate, and I’m sitting here wondering if I’m going to get fired in the meantime because no one is doing anything with the paperwork. If I lose my job, I lose my health insurance. If they don’t sign these papers, I only have two options. Lose my job, or force myself to go into work. I have a half hour commute to get to work. Another half an hour to get back home. I work full-time in an electrical supply warehouse with no heat in the winter and no air in the summer. It’s still much too hot in North Carolina for me to safely go to work. I’m terrified that if I try to drive something might trigger an attack while I’m driving. And I’m also scared to go to work and sit in the elements and have the heat or something set off an attack while I’m working. I also don’t even know if my job would allow me to even work considering I usually dive a forklift and am the head warehouse shipping and receiving person aside from our warehouse manager. I truly don’t know if they would even allow me to come to work and just sit at the desk and receive all day long.  Guys. I’m. I don’t even know what to do right now. I have so much debt, and soon to be even more debt from all these medical bills that will start showing up soon from me being in and out of the hospital and all these appointments. The walker I had to get from the hospital. Seeing specialists. The link to my GoFundMe is here: 

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-levi-pay-off-medical-bills-and-survive?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

I also have CashApp, Venmo and PayPal for anyone who would like to donate outside of GoFundMe. CashApp: $LeviJames30 Venmo: @/LeviJames30 (without the /) PayPal: @/punkfox91 (without the /)Please please reblog this and let it circulate. I need all the help I can get… If I lose my job… I truly don’t know what we’re going to do. We cannot survive off of my mom’s social security. She has been paying all the house bills with her monthly check and I’ve been the only one buying groceries, taking care of my car payment, car insurance and my phone bill and that’s it. That’s all we’ve been able to do for well over a year now. Maybe longer.Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far. I am extremely grateful and appreciative of any reblogs and literally to ANYONE who donates I thank you so so much. Stay safe. Thank you.

[al-yen]

please please help my dear friend! it doesn’t cost a dime to reblog

and if you are able to spare some money, every dollar counts in a desperate situation like this! thank you for your kindness and may you be blessed!

[moreidsdaughter]

i just gave you a hug, go hug someone else!!

@bus-kids @salvatoresupremacy @haileyyturner @meganskane @tenelvez @reidspoet @reidselle

[ni0ni]

*Hugs you back* @cwossiants my dear (:

Hugging: @red-maddam @paintandfandoms @royallylk @sizzlingdazebear @johermione

[royallylk]

*hugs you back* bby ily ❤🎀

Tagging- @piink-switchblade @bintafriqiya @realistthoughtss @orangesays @paperfrogss @dadaaesthetic @thepoetigal @bleehhhhgirl @user-with-a-name @unbalancedscale @typicalnimi and to everyone….i love y'all

[unbalancedscale-deactivated2025]

Awwwww(＾∇＾)ﾉ♪

Thank you💜✨

I’ll pass this hug to @al-yen @jules-hazard @wigilda @bahishht @endlesswordsonapage @writingsbypb and @royallylk you too of course ✨

[al-yen]

aw thank you, honey @unbalancedscale! hugging you back 💜

and hugging tightly @auroraismex @wigilda @akratiisalive @theazurepoet

[al-yen]

love is...

when he takes a nap and asks me to wake him up but then he asks for 5 more minutes and i spend 20 instead lying by his side and scrolling tumblr bc he's snuffling so peacefully with our cat sleeping beside him that i don't have the heart to end his blissful state

[visrightfist]

IN NEED OF HELP! PLEASE READ AND REBLOG-

Agh, man… I know I don’t have a whole lot of tumblr followers, but to those of you who do see this, it would mean the absolute world to me if you could reblog this and get it circulating. It won’t get seen otherwise, I don’t have a whole lot of people in my life… So I have to rely on the internet to get the help that I need and I’m so scared right now. I’m in a really really bad spot. It’s all explained in detail in the GoFundMe description but to sum it up as quickly as I can: I recently was put on a medication called Abilify for my mental health and it has caused either an underlying heart condition to massively flare up, or caused my heart to do what it’s currently doing. We’re still waiting for definite answers and I’m still in and out of doctor and cardiologist appointments to figure out if this will be a life-long issue or maybe it will resolve itself in time. I truly don’t know what’s happening right now. I was just put on a heart monitor and need to turn it back in next week to get a little bit more answers. Unfortunately, due to my condition I’m not only out of work, but cannot drive myself anywhere. It’s too dangerous. The meds they have me on currently to help my heart is causing low blood pressure so I’m almost always lightheaded and weak and faint feeling if I stand up or walk for too long. I’ve just now been able to make it out to our kitchen to make myself food, but I have to make extremely quick meals. Which is further hindering my recovery because I’m also now on a strict cardiac diet and have to limit my salt, sugar, total fat, cholesterol and now my potassium intake because of my beta-blocker. They at first diagnosed me with SVT, supraventricular tachycardia, and when I have an attack it literally feels like I’m dying. My heart palpitates, races and pounds so hard that I feel short of breath, get lightheaded and dizzy, feel extremely nauseous and it makes me almost faint. My anxiety also kicks in making it all that much worse. I have almost passed out quite a few times from this. My heart rate when I have an attack gets up to 140+BPM and for me that’s extremely fast considering my resting rate is usually between 60-89. And as I said before, now I’m on a beta-blocker that does help keep my heart in check, but it’s lowering my blood pressure and causing more issues. I’m also, obviously, now out of work and before all of this hit I wasn’t just working full-time but was also the sole caretaker for my 72-year-old mother who has Stage D COPD and Emphysema. As well as taking care of our four cats, which come tomorrow (Sat. the 16th of Oct.), will only be three cats because I’m being forced to re-home out little baby Xena. My heart is not only fucked up but its breaking more and more each day. I didn’t want to lose my babycat, but in my condition I’m not fit to be her cat daddy anymore. She’s far too playful for me to keep up with, and she’s been stuck in our back bedrooms since we took her in because she’s aggressive to other cats and we didn’t know it would be so impossible to acclimate her to the other cats in the house. She will thankfully, and hopefully, be going to a home with a young couple who will have the time and energy she needs as well as a big ol house to run around in. It still hurts so badly that I couldn’t be the dad she needed. My job and my insurance company at my job has given me short-term disability paperwork to fill out but neither my cardiologist nor my primary care doctor will fill it out. They both said that the other person would need to do it. So right now they’re at a stalemate, and I’m sitting here wondering if I’m going to get fired in the meantime because no one is doing anything with the paperwork. If I lose my job, I lose my health insurance. If they don’t sign these papers, I only have two options. Lose my job, or force myself to go into work. I have a half hour commute to get to work. Another half an hour to get back home. I work full-time in an electrical supply warehouse with no heat in the winter and no air in the summer. It’s still much too hot in North Carolina for me to safely go to work. I’m terrified that if I try to drive something might trigger an attack while I’m driving. And I’m also scared to go to work and sit in the elements and have the heat or something set off an attack while I’m working. I also don’t even know if my job would allow me to even work considering I usually dive a forklift and am the head warehouse shipping and receiving person aside from our warehouse manager. I truly don’t know if they would even allow me to come to work and just sit at the desk and receive all day long.  Guys. I’m. I don’t even know what to do right now. I have so much debt, and soon to be even more debt from all these medical bills that will start showing up soon from me being in and out of the hospital and all these appointments. The walker I had to get from the hospital. Seeing specialists. The link to my GoFundMe is here: 

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-levi-pay-off-medical-bills-and-survive?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

I also have CashApp, Venmo and PayPal for anyone who would like to donate outside of GoFundMe. CashApp: $LeviJames30 Venmo: @/LeviJames30 (without the /) PayPal: @/punkfox91 (without the /)Please please reblog this and let it circulate. I need all the help I can get… If I lose my job… I truly don’t know what we’re going to do. We cannot survive off of my mom’s social security. She has been paying all the house bills with her monthly check and I’ve been the only one buying groceries, taking care of my car payment, car insurance and my phone bill and that’s it. That’s all we’ve been able to do for well over a year now. Maybe longer.Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far. I am extremely grateful and appreciative of any reblogs and literally to ANYONE who donates I thank you so so much. Stay safe. Thank you.

[al-yen]

please please help my dear friend! it doesn't cost a dime to reblog

and if you are able to spare some money, every dollar counts in a desperate situation like this! thank you for your kindness and may you be blessed!

[loverworm]

i just love romance

i can’t stop making quizzes, so here’s one for all the romantics out there

[al-yen]

the best friend

you had a best friend, and not many other friends. so, you did everything together. it’s hard to tell who fell first, but one day you realized that you would blush every time their hand brushed yours, or when they laughed at your jokes. one night, you two went out to the courtyard to stargaze. you don’t know what it was about that night, maybe it was the comfortable silence or the flowers surrounding you, but you took their hand. you could hear them take a sharp breath, but they didn’t pull away. you two laid like that for a while, holding hands in silence. after a while, they turned their head to look at you, and just like that, you kissed. you don’t know who initiated it, really, you two were just drawn to each other. and in that moment, you were happier than you had been in a long time.

it was you, you, and you over and over again @jules-hazard 💜

[auquiz]

What would your villainous alter ego be? by faeriesprincess

If an author put pen to paper, and scribbled down your name to use as their antagonist’s, how would you carry out the conflict?

Keep reading

[wigilda]

i got this (wdym alter ego? ;) i am like that)

The Murderous Mrs

(or mr or spouse ect) Your song: Money, Money, Money by ABBA // You’re clever aren’t you? As an antagonist, you would manifest as the sort of person you see at the top of an old staircase, clad in black velvet, champagne in hand. Perhaps you also wear a pearl necklace, a gold watch, a pair of opera gloves. It doesn’t matter, at the end of the story you will hold the knife, pour the poison, and win your spouse over, in the most final of terms. Is it for the money? The hate? The satisfaction of it all? Only you can know. Have fun pretending to mourn them, before you move on to your next catch…

this song is actually one of my favourites…

tagging (no pressure tho):

@red-mister @proud-to-be-a-muggle-born @dramatic-weirdo @jules-hazard @al-yen @royallylk @cellestiallys @egg-sheepppp @cthulhu-is-a-writer @tyrannicaloctopus @algorithmofabsurdism @letterstomylouvre @justme827

[al-yen]

thank you for tagging, @wigilda :3

Tired

Your Song: Saint Bernard, By Lincoln // Your antagonistic character has fought for a long, long time. If asked you probably couldn't recall how it all started, what on earth happened. Not to mention that your moral compass, your reasoning for it all has become something of a grey area for you, over the years. All you know is that your fighting days are coming to an end, and you have chosen this. However, you do not intend to fall down dead without company. If it's over for you, it's over for the protagonist. Your character would orchestrate the sort of story where there are no winners, only corpses. What was your rivalry for if not for this?

consider yourself tagged if you see this and feel like joining 💜