we are sisters now
the taste of this kinship
is bitter
i spent and spent
hours and days
the longest that i’ve lived
running from your shadow
as it grew and grew
fed by the darkness
of her absence
i stepped into a new world
she held me
cradled me through
my anguish
my screams the same
as the day i was torn
from the belly of my mother
in her arms
curled up against the grooves
of her bathtub
i grieved the father i buried alive
before he could swallow me whole
in the maelstrom of his habit
in her arms
i learned the sound of my laughter
its lilt and timbre
a brand new instrument
in her arms
i heard my name
in the husk of a morning whisper
in the throes of white knuckled rapture
like it was the dawn of creation
and this was the first sound
in her arms
i felt the organs in me move
felt the sinewy strength of my own body
i took my first steps
and felt my footfalls like a child
i discovered i had weight
in this world
and in her absence
i crave the diseased delights
of a world past
a world i cannot re enter
the wretched pain of it
the severance of self and sanity
and sweet sanctuary
the shame of it
of how i dream of her taste
and her airy whimpers
her hands
how they made love
like they made art
how she looked at me
eyes dilated
like i was holy
how she held me in her gaze
and i felt seen
i rue your lingering limerance
your unwelcome ghost
my days are shadowed
against your years
and i rue this kinship
that your poetry
tastes so familiar on my tongue
maybe we’re visited by the same muse
maybe she has a type
bleeding hearts and open mouths
scarlet pearls and dead tissue
i keep holding my breath
for a dream that i won’t wake from
where she holds me
in her arms
in her gaze
and this time she doesn’t let go
