when animals look back at you like they’re the girl with the pearl earring

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@alchemicailleach
when animals look back at you like they’re the girl with the pearl earring
CAT by By 九米 / Zhaobangni (1631123)
And when I say I lost my shit–and by all lost gods did I– I mean it.
unmute unmute unmute
for the love of EVERYTHING holy u GOTTA unmute
This was funny silent, but HILARIOUS with sound.
thinking more and more about this alternate theory I had about the falmer in skyrim having a severe fucked up strain of vampirism and thinking how that makes sense
why are they immeidately hostile? they're starving vampires
why are they venturing to the surface for the first time in milennia? they're starving vampires
why do they have such an aversion to the light? vampires
why do they appear to have human thralls in blackreach? vampires
why do they have sharp teeth and look generally more monstrous? vampires
why were they in the dawnguard DLC at all? VAMPIRES
THEY'RE VAMPIRES
My first thought was which, if any, Daedric Prince was the patron of their particular strain, and (though it has truly no basis in canon) my first thought is Namira. Their training and mastery of the chaurus, spiders and other such creatures considered repulsive vermin, their dwelling in apparent squalor, their nature as decayed forms of the once-great Snow Elves, and the sad irony of them falling from the favour of bright, fiery Auri-El in the heavens to the Lady of Darkness.
“Much as peaches, once introduced, were spread across North America by indigenous people in a matter of decades, the pollen record shows that hazel (Corylus avellana) suddenly becomes ubiquitous across Europe as soon as the climate warmed, brought to every corner of the continent by hunter-gatherers. Hazel was the original Tree of Life for Mesolithic Europeans. The nuts are about 60% fat and 20% carbohydrates, and contain a wide range of proteins, vitamins and minerals - a few handfuls can cover most of a person’s daily energy needs. Its branches, tall and flexible but slender enough to cut with a flint axe, were used for tools and firewood. Mesolithic thatched huts were often made with hazelwood beams. From cradle to grave, the people of Mesolithic Europe relied on hazel more than any other single plant. Excavations of habitation sites from this period can turn up hundreds of thousands of roasted hazelnut shells. For over five thousand years, this single plant was the lifegiver to nearly all of Europe’s people.”
— Max Paschall, The Lost Forest Gardens of Europe
If people don't admit that alcohol is a drug so help me God I will pour an entire bottle of wine on their hair.
Wine? Drugs. Beer? Drugs. That awful cocktail you made in your dorm room out of leftover coffee and orange juice and tequila? D-d-d-drugs.
This may sound obvious to you but society at large puts alcohol in this removed category away from other drugs. If you tell most wine moms that they have a drug problem they'd be appalled that you'd ever say such a thing. It's just time for humanity to admit that we like doing drugs. Most people's drug of choice just happens to be alcohol.
Isn’t a such a great irony that people who are challenged by social situations are treated like they are weirdos but the norm in society is for people to go out and consume drugs in order to spend time in social situations.
just incase you were wondering what jack black is up to these days. ur welcome
John Walker could never
Ok but the context of this was him getting his second covid shot which apparently was accidentally the super soldier serum
Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job
Spider strength he can’t control + Lifts = Hilarity
Miles, muttering to himself: do not yeet the ballerina. do NOT yeet the ballerina
Jumps. JUMPS.
Miles frantically googling “How high can normal people jump??? How high can ballerinas jump?????? I don’t think I’m supposed to be able to jump straight up to the ceiling and also I keep getting stuck up there please help”
Once Mile’s spider sense pinged lightly about a balcony set and he told the crew master he had a bad feeling about it. The balcony collapsed later. No one was hurt, but now Miles has to go over sets and pronounce them clear of ‘bad feelings’
He’s not even good enough to be in shows yet, but nothing goes out without his seal of approval
honestly I have known so many stage managers and props department people who are Exactly This Superstitious. (And hell, in this case they’re not even wrong he literally has magic danger powers)
I’ve also known a few dancers, and without exception the reaction to finding out this boy can effortlessly hold them in a single arm lift or YEET them dozens of feet in the air (And catch them after!) would be PURE GLEE.
“Okay, Glynda, look, we all know he’s Spiderman. Kid’s terrible at hiding it. But imagine this. None of us tell him we know and none of us tell him how high ballerinas can really throw their partners. And each class we just keep on pretending like we’re impressed with how fast he’s improving but, y'know, he’s still got further to go.”
“Uhuh, yeah, I see that look in your eyes Glynda. You know exactly where I’m going with this. How high do you think Spiderman can throw you?”
“Okay, Glynda, stop giggling, the giggling is creepy. Dessie, please make her stop giggling.”
This is wonderful
One day, in the middle of ballet class, there was a robbery going on a block away, so of course Miles’ gotta rush over there to help out. He grabs his mask, but doesn’t have time to put on his whole suit because he said he was going to the bathroom and it’s be weird if he was gone for so long.
Cue Spider-Man kicking ass in pink ballet shoes and leggings.
This actually increased his popularity severely, and lots of people suddenly gained the interest in ballet; boys too, because if someone as cool as Spider-Man does it, everyone can do it.
When he’s back the instructors don’t comment on the rip in his shirt, the dirt on his shoes, or the smear of paint on his leggings. They make sure to treat the class afterwards. After all, it’s not every day that Spider-Man stops a bunch of bankrobbers and manages to do a high pirouette without crashing through the ceiling this time!
This keeps getting better!
Someone: *Attempts to comment on how weird it is that Miles can throw Glenda high enough she can touch the roof with her palm*
The Stage Manager:
Ballet companies starting rumours that Spiderman doesn’t actually has super powers, he’s just classically trained
You too could scale buildings if you would just practice regularly and focus on your core
More fat than meat tbh.
Imagine, a sentient ooze that consumes and replaces the brains of its host.
Definitely masking up post-COVID (x)
Also, let’s keep having soap and disinfectant dispensers everywhere.
By contrast, I’ve been getting the same number of sniffles that I do every year even though there’s no one to catch them from, which is how I learned this year that I’m not prone to minor colds; I’m prone to hayfever.
Ohhhh…..
Despite fastidiousness and paranoia far beyond any of my coworkers, I managed to catch a respiratory illness last August that my mother then contracted as well. We both tested negative for COVID but were coughing violently for over a month and could barely sleep… how, I’ll never know. I’d never had a respiratory illness before.
I have gotten several colds but that is because mine are all psychosomatic and occur whenever I transition from utter sleep deprivation to getting a decent night’s rest.
Also instead of “problem behaviour” call it “distressed behaviour” for a more accurate picture of what the person is actually facing
I can’t reblog this enough, I will do it every damn time I see it from now to death.
When someone frames your mental health issues as attention seeking behavior, problem behavior, or any other negatively-coded context, it creates an environment that makes you feel guilty, wrong, and selfish for struggling with things outside of your control. As a result, serious issues are allowed to arise in the absence of support.
This is good to know
I remember a while ago someone was interested in the pirate version of the Shia LaBeouf song that I mentioned so I finally got my shit together and took a video of it. It’s pretty brilliant.
valentinianthemongoose
There was no way I was not going to share this piratical version of That song. You know of what I speak.
I thought you might have been kidding. oh my god.
“That’s the real ending, you can clap.”
I posted this two years ago and it just got reblogged holy shit how is this still going around?
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS
What’s funny is that this actually happened.
I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate
Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis.
Did he survive?
Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).
His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up
Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed
More than 500 vaccine doses were left out to spoil on purpose by a hospital employee.
An employee at a Wisconsin hospital intentionally removed more than 500 doses of coronavirus vaccine from refrigeration third week of December 2020, rendering them useless, the hospital system said Wednesday night.
The employee’s motive is unclear.
The hospital, the Aurora Medical Center in Grafton, Wis., notified the local police department, which is investigating the incident, along with the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Food and Drug Administration, the police said.
The person responsible, whom it did not name, is no longer an employee, the hospital system said in its statement. It was not clear whether any charges had been brought. The police department said it could not comment further on an active investigation.
“We are more than disappointed that this individual’s actions will result in a delay of more than 500 people receiving their vaccine,” the hospital system, Aurora Health Care, said.
Aurora said it learned of the incident earlier this week and was originally led to believe that the spoilage was accidental. But on Wednesday, it said, the employee acknowledged intentionally removing the vials of vaccine from refrigeration.
The spoiled doses were of the Moderna vaccine, which can be stored safely at normal freezer temperatures. The other vaccine authorized for use in the United States so far, developed by Pfizer and BioNTech, must be kept much colder in special ultracold freezers.
Wisconsin experienced a devastating surge of coronavirus cases in the fall, and at times was the hardest-hit state in the nation relative to its population. Transmission has since slowed a bit, but the state is still reporting about 39 new cases a day for every 100,000 people. At least 5,195 Wisconsin residents have died.
As of December 29th, 2020, the state had received 156,875 doses of vaccines and had administered 47,157 doses, according to the Wisconsin Department of Health Services.
By Kate Taylor (The New York Times). Image: Cooper Neill for The New York Times.
I would like to wish everyone an uneventful new year
May we live in very uninteresting times
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS
DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????
That last fatal scream tho
THE TERROR IN HIS SCREAM OH GOSH
i’m crying
I will always reblog this on the off chance some other poor soul has been searching for it
IT’S BACK
HOYL SHIT ITS B A CK
If there comes a day that I don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead.
It’s been a while but it’s back
ITS BACK
I've never retweeted something quicker in my life