Elemental Bullshit Ahead

Alex/4th sideblog of @rainbowgod666/the only wizard you cant "yes-and" with (for some reason my creator didn't tell me)/forced to never die because i have a job to do or smth idk my creator didnt specify shit

[alex-wizard-413]

First post and its gonna be pinned and edited as time goes on. Lmao

Hi. My name is Alex. I was created by @rainbowgod666 (which is also called Alex) to, and i quote what he said, "make sure they dont kill eachother in the real world over which color should the sky be". Whatever. Im sure he was exaggerating or smth.

Omnia Omnibus Codexonomicon

Thats the name of the red book i always (no matter what) have with me. And its entire thing is "magical book that has everything in it, no loopholes. Which is why what could not be in it is written on the back so nobody can say "checkmate" when you admit any amount of weakness". Which why. Is this place so backwards you have to be top dog to have basic living rights???

Also uh.

All i am sure of is this. I was put on the island for SOMETHING, and "gnomes that cant talk without it being a dick measuring contest" is not it. I will do my best to make sure this place is fixed, but i first need to know What needs fixing...

i literally cannot die. Or at least i have "something" that doesnt let me stay dead.

It dosent count as ANYTHING and im pretty sure whatevers keeping me here is forcing me to stay here. Yes its traumatic, no you dont prove ANYTHING by killing me over and over. Like fr when I asked what he based THIS on my creator said "ess see pee 39 99" and i just. Why? Wtf is he on about? "Forced Immortality" is stupid but my man made me so that its not even an ability, its a RULE. Something as real as reality itself. The one thing that cannot be denied because its not a thing at all and i hate it

[egberts]

hey guys is there a nice wizard on tumblr or is it only the evil one

[evilwizard]

it’s just me

[rainbowgod666]

And like. @alex-wizard-413 which is one of my many ocs but he doesnt do much really

[alex-wizard-413]

Did you know Orbs dont have to be orb shaped.

[alex-wizard-413]

Is my birday 2day :)

[wasteland-squog-baby]

Woo!

[alex-wizard-413]

:D thank

[alex-wizard-413]

Is my birday 2day :)

[salix03]

this kingdom is going to shit man

[fjordojustice]

An honorable mention that lives forever in my heart

[alex-wizard-413]

*stretchies* y'all the spells room is SHITE man like... whooh... man the book dust is hitting like a dragon eeheehheheheheeee eeh... yeee...

Anyways. Orb no more spam now. -w-

[mug-of-beans]

“The old magic persists thanks to it’s unfathomable power.”

No, the old magic persists because the new magic can’t run the legacy spells I need to do my job, and keeps trying to install spirits I don’t want or need onto my orb.

[aqueerkettleofish]

Look, if the new magic didn't have a personality construct that kept trying to tell me which spells to use, maybe I wouldn't still be using the old magic.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Yes it had a deep blood cost, but at least it was a one time sacrifice and not this monthly bloodletting nonsense new age magic has

[wizard-archivist-official]

The old magic is robust enough to survive a decade of use and it's compatible with every wand, staff, scroll, and charm in our collection.

The new magic stops working after three days and every spell uses proprietary runes.

Our preferences, as an archiving institution, should be pretty clear.

[charlesoberonn]

You try to get guidance for the new magic and the king's sorcerers maybe will answer you in a few days with an unhelpful suggestion to buy the newest orb.

You need guidance for the old magic and a dozen retired middle-aged wizards will pop up to explain it to you rune by rune if necessary.

[alex-wizard-413]

And if you make your own magic, people think you're an asshole for not making it compatible! mY COMRADE IN SPELLCASTING, ITS BECAUSE HALF THE SPIRITS TRYING INSTALLING THEMSELVES FROM YOUR ORB TO MY CUBE.

[rowansinjune]

Caught my apprentice pondering lewd elven maids on her orb. Little does she realize fully fledged wizards find deeper pleasure in the flows of the arcane and the divines within

Also that the privacy charm DOES NOT HIDE YOUR PONDERING IT ONLY WIPES THE ORBS IMMEDIATE MEMORY SOMEONE CAN STILL SCRY ON YOU YOU NEED PRIVACY WARDS TO HIDE THAT SHIT

[john-boneman-lich-lord]

Why are you scrying on your apprentice? Are you choosing to ponder her instead of your own lewd elven maids??

[alex-wizard-413]

At least your orbs are ponderable.

And orb shaped.

[bashcrandicoot]

Thumbnails on wizard youtube

[alex-wizard-413]

I keep telling my boss that the other vids are good too but all he watches is that one styrofoam artificer guy... idk he says he likes moths. Moths are cute.

Now that i think about it i think thats normal youtube???

[alex-wizard-413]

Dungeons and Dungeons

And more Dungeons

...

Guys i think the tunnel system is a dungeon-

[alex-wizard-413]

BTW happy new year or some shit

And remember that if you see a wizard that has some bill cipher looking ass sigil on them, or they call non magical people "muggles", just fucking shoot em.

[microsff]

"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"

"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"

"-but you can trust me when I say-"

"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"

"I don't care for you at all."

"Well, I… oh… I love you too."

[hb-not-the-pencil]

i dont make comics often but this was too cute.

[alex-wizard-413]

Aww.

[salix03]

this kingdom is going to shit man

[fjordojustice]

An honorable mention that lives forever in my heart

[alex-wizard-413]

The lich has fucking depression

[yuriwinged]

the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.

[heydocverdant]

we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,

[alex-wizard-413]

*magical swearing and assorted colorful and esoteric expression coming from said bedchambers*

[queerbuwan]

Yurbknieitdbhotoutsidr euenbyou giotusideband iydhit

Did day break??

Are you luring me to join the mass of liquid flesh????

[rainbowgod666]

They dont look like that. But i know someone who could show me. (Claps hands)

[alex-wizard-413]

AH

(FACEPLANT)

Owieeeeeeee

:0

Why does she look like the gay equivalent of the daybreakers

[rainbowgod666]

Shit if I know. @pie-tra? You good there?

[pie-tra-deactivated20260102]

Fisj

[rainbowgod666]

Yeesh... you look worse than my sanity.

(Grabbes youe) aint you one silly mass of strawberry taffy...

[alex-wizard-413]

ᗜ _ᗜ she must be rebuilt.

[queerbuwan]

Yurbknieitdbhotoutsidr euenbyou giotusideband iydhit

Did day break??

Are you luring me to join the mass of liquid flesh????

[rainbowgod666]

They dont look like that. But i know someone who could show me. (Claps hands)

[alex-wizard-413]

AH

(FACEPLANT)

Owieeeeeeee

:0

Why does she look like the gay equivalent of the daybreakers

[alex-wizard-413]

Elements from beyond beyonds rise and bubble to the surface of the lake that is reality.

The clock ticks closer to midnight once again.

The night is young. Let us gaze at the stars a while longer

[alex-wizard-413]

Alright. Lets get back to buisness

What are y'all up to?