Mediocre Mumblings. @alexa743 - Tumblr Blog

Hey tumblr, this happened on Thursday which was also my 30th birthday!

Hey tumblr, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything and that’s honestly because I tend to forget this app is still in my phone...whoops. One of the last things I posted was a picture of me and my boyfriend from last August , so here’s another from this June. One cool thing that happened between the two photos is that I lost about 55 pounds. If you feel like seeing slightly more of my life, send me a message and I’ll give you my IG handle so you can follow me. ✌🏻

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kitty

thecakemonsters

Satisfying

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@advanced-procrastination @tx-tornado @offthebeatenpathtexas @wolfbeat

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The greatest ending in film history

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counterpunches

#i am begging you

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I may not have the best body but it sure does hold all my organs in place

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this is the type of positivity i need.

🌊⛴💙 Two weeks ago we got to spend the weekend in the Bay Area, and although not everything went to plan it was a fun little vacation, and I’m looking forward to going back. #angelisland #lugnuts #tramsdontworkwithoutthem (at Angel Island Overlook) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm7mq4WD8ApHAGr4_lw9mhQqnFDaljAC2fZLUk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=b7y6a1c5lzs

#angelisland #lugnuts #tramsdontworkwithoutthem

I’ve been having a bit of a hard time lately. My boyfriend has been in a different work schedule for a few months and although it’s actually better/more consistent hours I feel like we haven’t been spending much time together. When we are home together he usually wants to play some video games or catch up on shoes that he’s missed. And I’m usually in the living room watching my own shows or sometimes doing stuff for work. He usually spends one night a week with his friends from work, playing board games, and we have attended/hosted different parties/events throughout the summer but I am a pretty introverted person, and it’s hard for me to be around people for extended periods of time and always be “on.” I need a lot of quiet “me time” to recover from all of the activity. He has had family in town from Oregon for the last week and they are staying at his parent’s house about 20 minutes away. So when he is not working, he’s spending time with them. I understand that, and I want him to visit since he only gets to see them about once a year, but I miss him. I’ve been going over there to visit every other day but they’re not my family and even though I enjoy them as people, I don’t feel super comfortable so I tend to isolate myself. The other night after we came home my bf could tell that I was feeling upset and I told him that I missed him, and admitted that I was jealous that he has friends and family that he can spend time with. I told him that I felt ignored but also selfish for feeling all of these things. It’s just hard. I moved here four years ago and I have no friends of my own. I know his friends, and his sister’s friends, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable calling any of them up to hang out without my bf or his sister. I love his parents, and am happy that I have them in my life but they aren’t my parents. I feel like the only family and friends I have here is my boyfriend, so when he isn’t around (mentally or physically) I feel really unwanted, and like I’m not important.

That was a long mess of words that essentially just expresses - “I feel sad but I also am annoyed at myself for feeling sad.”