something I don’t really see mentioned or acknowledged at all is that “being in the closet” is a spectrum.
some people are only out to themselves.
some people are only out online.
some people are only out on specific websites or accounts.
some people are only out on a specific space on an account, such as a discord server.
some people are only out irl.
some people are only out when they’re in an area they don’t live in (such as the next city over, or on vacation).
some people are only out to their therapist and/or medical team.
some people are only out at school/uni.
some people are only out at work.
some people are only out to their family.
some people are only out to their friends.
some people are only out to their partner(s).
some people are only out to specific family/friends/partners.
some people express a muted or more “palatable” version of their identity in some or all spaces, not necessarily expressing the fullness of their identity anywhere but to themselves.
some people are partially or fully expressing their gender and/or sexuality, but not expressing other identity signifiers such as new pronouns or name.
or the above but express different versions of these signifiers in different circumstances or spaces.
some people express their identity fully, but don’t correct anyone who is “wrong” or tell anyone the full extent of their identity, with some answering when asked and others not.
some people have come out “fully”, and gone back into the closet “fully.”
some people are stealth, and are very cautious about who they allow (if anyone) to know their full identity.
and most queer people are incredibly complex mixtures of all of the above scenarios, and many more. I can’t possibly list them all.
we cannot meaningfully divide experiences between those who are “in/out of the closet” (full stop) because individual experience is way more nuanced than that. and everyone’s definition of either in/out is going to be different, ranging from “if 1 other person knows, you’re out of the closet” to “unless everybody knows the full extent of your identity, you’re not out of the closet.”
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