AllieMuffins33 @alliemuffins33 - Tumblr Blog

the-big-mood

Walter White in Mario Kart Wii

https://m.youtube.com/c/TheChiptuner

one-time-i-dreamt

WHAT

ririazul

myleftpinkytoe

Oh, i remember this! No truck fucking, but also hard to explain...?

Basically, a lot of truckers feel VERY attached to their trucks, to the point where it's common for truckers to refer to them as their "first baby".

So, knowing this, this trucker's wife organised a photoshoot where her husband's "first baby" got to meet his "second baby". Kind of like those pregnancy photoshoots with dogs?

He thought it was great, and they shared it on social media trucker groups. In a turn i would not expect, a lot of other truckers got really emotional about it. Like, grown men cooing over a stranger's pregnancy photoshoot, going to their wives and asking if they can do something similar 🥺🥺🥺. All in all, strangely wholesome???

fruitcakebro

Ohhhh, the truck is the big brother :)

vagina-museum

a comprehensive list of everything Pliny the Elder had to say about periods

Pliny's first century encyclopaedia, Natural History, had an entire section on periods. and literally everything he had to say about menstruation was incorrect.

if you take off your clothes while menstruating , it can stop whirlwinds, lightning and storms at sea

but it will also kill young plants and vines such as ivy and rue

on the plus side, if you walk barefoot through a field while menstruating, it will cause all the bugs to fall off the crops

don't do this too early in the morning or it'll kill all the crops too

don't touch beehives when menstruating, or the bees will leave

avoid period sex with during an eclipse because that'll straight up kill the guy

"matters of a most dreadful and unutterable nature" (worse than the above)

laundry will turn black while you're boiling it

cooking or doing the dishes will make the pans greasy and smelly

touching a razor will blunt it

looking in the mirror will tarnish it

but dw if you stare at the back of the mirror for a bit it will go back to normal

being near a dog while menstruating will drive it mad

touching pregnant horses will cause them to immediately miscarry

if it's your first period, even *looking* at the horse will make it miscarry

on the plus side, this property of period blood means you can mix it into contraceptives to make them more powerful

anything purple that you touch will immediately become dull

literally

even the ash from burned fabric which touched menstrual blood will make your purples fade

in Judea, specifically Judea, menstrual blood can cut the flow of bitumen

even swords made of steel can't do that

relieves gout when spread on it

mix with rosewater and apply to the temples to soothe a headache

mix with wool of a black sheep to cure malaria

put on a cloth and wear in your clothes to cure rabies

yes that directly contradicts the mad dogs thing

he wasn't consistent at all

smear on someone after an epileptic seizure to revive them

touch facial sores or boils to cure them

neutralise spells by evil wizards

simply smear menstrual blood on the doorframe and the curse is gone

luckily all of this can be averted with one weird trick: carry a red mullet fish with you, always

you can read Pliny's menstruation chapter in its entirety here.

invisible-goats

Some of these are a shame because period sex during an eclipse sounds like a cool ritual

quixoticanarchy

a californian but there’s something just a bit wrong and spooky about her. call that an uncanny valley girl

flagellant

I think people on EBT should be allowed to eat at a five star restaurant for completely free once a month minimum and I'm not joking. It should be a human right to have the roses not just the bread.

kingscrown666

"It should be a human right to have the roses not just the bread"

Etch this in marble and put it on my grave

ohtheshumanity

"If you have two loaves of bread, sell one and buy a hyacinth." -Iranian proverb, I think, maybe

weaver-z

I love folklore so much because depending on the location and era it comes from it's either the most terrifying concept or the dumbest thing you've ever heard

weaver-z

Mexican Folklore: You think this place is a Normal Location? Tch. You fool. Everyone knows this place is the SCARY Location.

British Folklore: There's a little Beast in your house... make sure you give it the necessary porridge....... otherwise it might turn to mischief.......

German Folklore: For the love of God, do NOT trust hot people and do NOT trust babies and do NOT trust short men and do NOT trust Christmas and do NOT trust sausage and do NOT trust the elderly and

US Folklore: This Giant Boy From Texas Is God's Favorite

alone1nmycastl3

tunisian

loving a place means leaving a piece of your heart there. loving someone means leaving a piece of your heart with them. loving an object means your love is imbued with it. hope this helps

hilda-the-pinup

on her way to go fishing!

#photoblog #norcal #spring #stoned&pretty

Atlanta Airport 1:30 am

just-call-me-ella

A post about romantic relationships

so I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years now. And I see a lot of posts about how people think relationships mean having butterflies forever, your heart beating faster when they walk into a room, about cuddling together every night, legs intertwined, that you’d be so happy to live together you’d sleep on a double bed with each other every night.

And its not really like that, at least not to me.

You stop getting the butterflies when you live together. Your heart no longer speeds up when you see them, but instead, everything calms down. When youre in the room with them, you feel calm, and secure. When you cuddle them you feel your heart beat slow, and the sound of their breathing carry you towards comfort. It doesnt feel like a roller coaster anymore, it feels like home.

You don’t sleep curled up with each other every night, legs twisted between theirs so tight its hard to tell where yours begin and theirs end.

Instead, you sleep comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing different directions. But every night, you find yourself scooting backwards on the bed so you bump into them. You snuggle against their arm, or stroke their hair as they fall asleep. There are nights when my boyfriend, in his sleep, reaches around me and pulls me to him, like a child with his teddybear, like I am his comfort.

In the wee hours of the morning before the dawn breaks, when the world is blue and you see through cracked eyes, you curl into their chest and inhale their scent before drifting back to sleep.

Kisses aren’t always romantic and firey anymore. But there are so much more of them now. There are cold kisses when you’re eating ice cream in the summer, and sticky kisses over breakfast pancakes. There’s “im leaving now” kisses, and “one more kiss before you go” kisses. There’s sleepy morning kisses before work, when you don’t remember the alarm going off but instead the press of their lips against yours is what brings you into the day.

There’s kisses before sleep, and, you are so sweet with the things you do kisses. There’s kisses because you treat animals so tenderly, and I’m so glad i’m with you and not someone else kisses. There’s quick kisses in the aisles of the grocery store, when its loud and you gravitate together, when instead of having your own personal space and their own personal space, its both of yours together, and you step into their chest to take up less area together.

You don’t always text each other with confessions of love and care like you used to, because that’s a given now, and you’ve moved on to quirky inside jokes about the life youve built together. You share looks of exasperation and amusement in public, your own little world against the outside one.

Relationships aren’t always a fairy tale. They’re not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start.

But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It’s not a fire in your soul, but one in your hearth, keeping you warm and comfortable, comforting you as you drowsily drift into sleep.

And I love that.

priiincessaurum

I cried reading this.

sleepynegress

This is the scene where M’Baku calls out Shuri during the challenge. I love that everyone surrounding her snaps to action, but please check out Shuri’s body-language here. Look at her face. She is looking M’Baku dead in the eye. Her stance is open and relaxed. She’s not the least bit intimidated. Also notice that Shuri’s mom and most of the Dora aren’t pointing those vibranium spears at M’Baku. They are effectively holding Shuri back. ….Just something to think about.

sleepynegress

Something else to think about? How she met what she thought was her certain death.