23. STL. Clinical Psychology Master's student. I'm all about puppies, How I Met Your Mother, Parks and Recreation, and obviously lesbians, especially ones wearing plaid.
My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that
Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend?
Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet?
Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing).
– Got to walk a second time through–
Same guy: My friends -wailing-
Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad
Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh.
I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.
Specifically, I remember;
There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.
Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”
My friends and I were in a really dark part of a haunted house and couldn’t find the exit, so the guy who had just jumped out at us had to say “to your left” in his same scary voice he’d used to scream and we were like “thanks!”
And then after a few moments of patting blindly at the wall he says again in the same ominous voice “your other left”
"Our main timeframe was from the invention of Barbie through to now. The timeless pieces, which also has an echo to the actual toys that were in the dream house that Mattel makes today. It's very simple, and clear, and beautiful. That was one of Greta's key words. "It has to be beautiful. It has to be beautiful, as well." Taking it properly from the late '50s to the '60s was a big influence of that modernist furniture that was coming through." – BARBIE'S SET DECORATOR KATIE SPENCER TALKS DESIGN OF THE DREAMHOUSE
Over twenty years ago my big brother got me a job at a Taco Bell in the St. Louis suburbs-West County. He warned me that it was the “gay Taco Bell”, but since I was coming from the “gay Howard Johnson’s” I wasn’t shocked. It turns out it was the black trans women Taco Bell complete with black trans women in management. And they’d worked out an arrangement with the local teen Narcotics Anonymous group so that twice a week we would shut down the drive thru and the dining room and exclusively serve 60+ teens in various stages of recovery. And many of the women I worked with were in various stages of being out or transitioning and they were from all generations from teens to over 50. One woman I worked with had a regular corporate job presenting as a man 9-5 Mon-Fri and then came to Taco Bell and worked 6pm -2am Friday and Saturday night so she could be herself surrounded by other black transwomen in those stolen weekends. And we had customers come from all over the metro area because they knew they could be themselves in the dining room. I only worked there from 1999-2001 but for young me, this was a vital, formative experience. Some of the girls came from north city all the way out to the “gay Taco Bell” on Manchester in west county because they heard it was safe to work there. Like- I know times have changed but they haven’t changed much in 20 years. I’m still convinced that for lgbt youth, finding a job at your city’s version of the “gay Taco Bell” is key to survival.
you park in the wrong spot somewhere. maybe at a friend’s apartment complex, or at a store when you’re actually walking somewhere else, or whatever. they could ticket you—still charge you a fine for parking where you’re not supposed to. but instead, in a far more crippling way than a fine (which is already hard enough for low income people), they call a third party and steal your car. so you have lost your means of transportation, which you will only learn the next time you need your car, because they don’t have any need or care to notify you.
so first, you have to figure out which towing company they used. which you can only do if the place that decided your car was in the wrong spot is still open, or if you can get someone on the phone.
assuming you figure out which company towed your car, which one time took me over an hour on its own because the number on the signs warning about towing in the parking lot was a dead number, you then have to figure out how to get there. without a car. god help you if you don’t have someone in your support network to pick you up or public transportation, because most of the time it’s at least a mile away.
you find a way to get there, you call them to see if your car is even really there, and they tell you they won’t give your car back until you pay them. how much? well, it’s not regulated, so they can pretty much say whatever number they goddamn feel like. i recently got towed by a company infamous in my college town and they charged me a whopping $180–half of my paycheck for two weeks during the school year. when the same company towed my brother last year, and we both have the same sized cars, they charged him $300. they don’t have to justify the charge, they don’t have any itemized receipt, because what are you going to do? not pay it? you have to get to work and you’re already short on time because you had to walk to the goddamn towing place or have someone come get you to bring you there or spend an hour on the phone with different people trying to figure out where the fuck your car was in the first place.
it’s extortionate. it’s absolutely insane that they can, without exaggeration, steal someone’s car and hold it for ransom under the assumption that you will pay anything to get it back, because of the extent to which our society is dependent on cars.
How it's going as a trans person in Florida: Planned Parenthood, 26Health, and Spektrum Health have announced they have paused all gender affirming care.
To recap, DeSantis signed several anti-trans bills into law this week. Care is banned for minors, care is all but banned for adults, Don't Say Gay has been extended, children can be kidnapped from affirming parents by non-affirming family, and there is a bathroom bill that subjects trans folks to arrest for using government owned facilities, such as those in courthouses, airports, many stadiums and parks.
The adult effective ban was felt immediately. The main elements are:
signing at every visit an in-person informed consent form created by the state
all care come from physicians instead of nurse practitioners
no telemed for gender-affirming care
Currently, it is unknown if existing HRT prescriptions written by NPs will be honored by pharmacies. I personally know one person who was able to pick up testosterone yesterday, but I have also read many reports of folks being denied. I myself don't have a refill ready for another 10 days and will report back after I try my own pickup.
What's additionally dangerous is those of us, myself included, who get non-HRT prescriptions from our gender clinics now face the uncertainty of continuing of *all* of our medical care. Our health clinics are at risk of shuttering permanently as they lose major income, and many of us will lose STD meds, depression meds, heart meds, etc, etc.
When we say "this will kill us," it goes beyond suicide risk from forced detransition.
"But you can still get HRT from a physician."
So many suck or are outright hostile and the demand outstrips the supply. Before I found my NP-run clinic, one physician just decided to not call in my Rx, another was so shit at reading lab results, he thought I had hepatitis, and the third I had to threaten to kick in the teeth for trying to force too large a speculum in me.
Also, the state-required consent form has not been finalized and distributed yet, so at this point, everything has pretty much ground to a halt.
It was estimated that 80% of trans adults would lose their healthcare because of how many use providers like Planned Parenthood, but the impact seems even greater now.
"You can get your non-gender care elsewhere still."
DeSantis recently signed a bill that allows healthcare professionals to discriminate against trans people.
The law allows any medical provider or insurer to deny care based on "ethical, moral, or religious beliefs...
Sure, we can try to find care elsewhere, but it will be a slow and expensive process, with no guarantees. It took me over 20 years to get my heart condition treated because of transphobic doctors.
What can I do as a trans Floridian?
Stay in communication with your clinic - many are working on getting physicians added to the roster to prescribe HRT. Lawsuits are being filed and it's possible the changes to adult care can be rolled back.
Continue to try to pick up your meds, but begin looking for care elsewhere, though. Inside and outside the state.
Remember that while telemed for gender affirming care has been banned, you can still cross state lines for care. See Erin's map of informed consent clinics.
Many people will turn to DIY, but be sure you are aware of the risks here, especially if on testosterone, which is a controlled substance.
What should I be worried about next as a trans Floridian?
I worry about the following next steps towards genocide:
Banning getting care out of state. This is from the anti-abortion playbook. They will likely start with kids again, but we've seen how quickly adult care gets axed.
Being declared mentally incompetent or a risk in some way. This could be anything from being barred from gun ownership to not being allowed to work for the government.
Being declared a de facto predator. This has already happened with the latest bathroom law (cis people can eject trans people from government owned single-gender facilities, with arrest as a penalty), so watch out for it being applied to privately-owned facilities. Watch for discussions of official lists of trans people.
Gender presentation enforcement laws, essentially banning "cross dressing". Laws that block or rollback documentation changes.
These all have historic precedence and are huge "I'm in danger" red flags.
What can I do as a cis person?
Amplify all this news. Talk frankly about how this is genocide. And donate what you can to trans mutual aid campaigns so people can travel to get healthcare or even leave the state.
Here's some articles to get started on building awareness:
Florida Republican leaders said regulating transgender health care was about kids. But a new bill signed by DeSantis also restricts care for
Bills signed into law Wednesday will further restrict trans rights in his state, and there’s no telling how far the extremist politician wil
Governor Ron DeSantis signed several anti-trans bills today. One of these bills, a bathroom ban, is likely to lead to many arrests of transg
Florida has banned gender affirming care for trans youth as well as Medicaid coverage for trans adults. New information in court findings sh
NOTE: this essay is a 15 minute read. If it’s listed as longer than that, it’s because it contains a list of over 100 references at the…
The only thing this chart is missing is picking up refills written before the ban. My own refill is still on auto-fill and I'll know Monday if I can get it. Meanwhile, a friend should have had his refill days ago, but the pharmacy is not responding.
Click for latest version.
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