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People are a lot more willing to overlook a controlling girlfriend then they are a controlling boyfriend.

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Quote by Iain S. Thomas

missmentelle

This. Is. Abusive.

Men need friends. Men need acquaintances. Men need peers. Men need people to cheer them on and notice their accomplishments and tell them that their hair looks good. Men need inside jokes with their coworkers and friends they can turn to after a hard day. Men need rich social lives and platonic hugs and emotional support from people they aren’t dating.

Men need to be treated like human beings who are capable of honoring their commitments, and not like misbehaving dogs who can’t control themselves unless they are carefully supervised.

As a culture, we’re pretty good about recognizing how important it is for women to have an emotional support network outside of their partner, but we’ve almost gone out of our way to deny that same social support to men. It’s socially acceptable for straight men who maintain close platonic friendships with women to be constantly accused of “cheating”, and yet straight men who form intimate and emotional bonds with other men are still accused of being “gay”. We’ve created a culture where many straight men rely only on their female partner for emotional support, leaving them nowhere to turn if their female partner becomes abusive, controlling or cruel.

A man who isolates his female partner and controls her social media is quickly marked as an abuser. A woman who does the same to her male partner is shrugged off as “just jealous” or even cheered on for “protecting her relationship”. And it’s wrong.

If the thought of your straight male partner having female friends makes you overwhelmed with jealousy, you aren’t ready for a relationship. If you can’t handle the thought of not having access to your boyfriend’s phone, passwords and social media accounts, you are not ready for a boyfriend. If the idea of other women following your boyfriend on social media or complimenting his appearance fills you with rage, you are not ready to date someone seriously. Loving someone means placing trust in them, and wanting to see them happy and supported in all areas of their life.

Love is not control.