So this is a thing.

Probably moving to https://twitter.com/AlphaSp2 Jake, he, male, bi, yadda yadda, wolfy-guy. I play Overwatch, Destiny, Rainbow Six, and Magic. Ask me literally anything, Yo. Background gif via http://markferrari.com/

[z-a-d-r-i]

“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this

[dizzydevious]

Visit Original Link

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[alephnull47]

when you die and go to hell this is what the devil plays while kicking your ass

[identity-of-design]

[godisablackwoman]

Ohhhhhhhhhh

[leafcrunch]

i am not taking questions at this time

[meangirlnurse]

“i can leave the door open while i’m cleaning my bathroom,” i reasoned to myself. “surely my beloved cat, Meatball, isn’t dumb enough to try and jump into an open toilet full of Clorox”

[meangirlnurse]

i caught this tiny-little fool MID-FUCKING-AIR. i watched him start leaping and time literally slowed down. and then he had the audacity, the NERVE, to beep indignantly at me for ruining his plans

[meatballmeatballspaghetti]

(from the “Dodge a Bullet” episode of Mythbusters)

*wind rustles*

*bullet fires, replays, funky music starts jammin*

Jamie: “I…dodged it!”

Adam: “ᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᴼᴼᴼᴼOOOOOᴼᴼᴼᴼᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ”

*funk maxes*

[serialsymphony]

Visit Original Link

what the fuck is wrong with this child

[pukad0n]

[dekutree]

[kyian]

Iconic

[homunculusalphonse]

This is probably one of the best moments in Spongebob’s history.

[otherwindow]

Concept: Widowmaker, but she visited a chiropractor. 

[nerdgasrnz]

Get a load of this guy

[hobgoblinhero]

You’re RUINING the LORE by ROBBING her of her CYBERNETICALLY ENHANCED TACTICAL ASS

[dankmemeuniversity]

[flour-canon]

Free worldbuilding idea:

Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all.

“Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don’t trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes.”

“Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston’s Divine Circle of Teleportation. There’s some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It’s way safer.”

“I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? ‘Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles’? That’s just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don’t even interact with each other.”

“I’ve been looking at this scroll all morning and I’m 90% sure that the scribe didn’t even look at the standard for pyromancies.”

[digitaldiscipline]

“Help Desk, this is Gloriline, what did you fuck up this time?” *indistinct vocals* “Dave, I’ve seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support.”

[void-writing]

“I can’t get this fucking spell to work, Jane, can you look it?”

*passes a scroll* *a few moments of silence*

“I think you missed a bookend rune right here-”

“GODS DAMN IT! IT’S ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THAT! THANK YOU!” *angrily scribbles on parchment*

(It takes five more aggravatingly tiny adjustments before the spell works)

[crazy-pages]

I don’t play wizards anymore because they’re too much like my day job.

[drackir]

Instead of a orb the wizard has a little statue of a duck he tells his spells to and then swears when he spots the obvious mistake.

[beachfox-deactivated20181218]

You beat me to it! I was going to add that the reason why wizards and witches always have familiars around is so they can Rubber Duck at them until they realize what the mistake with their spell is!

Outsiders get it wrong and figure the familiars are somehow teaching spells to their owners, but no. It’s just explaining to Firewing what you’re trying to do with this teleportation matrix until you realize that you’ve been using telepathy crystals to power it the whole time like a FUCKING IDIOT!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ask me about the difference between leopard/cheetah/jaguar print, it’s my field of expertise 

[woundedtoaster]

What is the difference? Please learn me a thing

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

cheetahs got dots! little dot dots i want to bop

leopards got filling. it’s cheetah 2.0. Cheetah on meth. look at that leopard shit. 

then there’s jaguar. Jaguar is madness. it took leopard print & decided wait. what if–MAW DOTS. it’s just leopard print with dots in the middle, it’s chaos

look at this bullshit

i’m angry just looking at it

so in ascending order: Cheetah < Leopard < Jaguar

C.L.J. someone come up with weird mnemonic for that, i’ve done enough work for you greedy bastards

[shakingmyfistatgod69420]

Cats love jazz

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

there it is

[mr-gromain]

home made poster of zelda breath of the wild , inspired by the art of ghibli movies :)

[catchymemes]

Unmute

[fieldbears]

Unmute

[lynati]

OH MY FUCKING GOD

[sacred-portal]

[bizghetti]

I LOVE THIS MAN YOU DON’T EVEN KNOOOW

[captioned-miscellaneous-videos]

Plankton’s VA: “My name is Plankton. Come and eat at the Chum Bucket! Every fucking day! You come down, and we’ll shuff your face full of shit! [laughs] I’m just kidding, don’t come to the Chum Bucket. It’s horrible. Horrible!”

[regardingspace]

This is all i ever wanted, to hear plankton say “fuck”

[alpha-sp]

I'm emptying my queue. This blog is going back to posting when I find cool things.

Sorry for the incoming spam.