actually we need to be humble and give credit where credit is due. none of this would be possible without the greatest warrior for depetrolisation and electrification, Mr Donald Trump and his friends in the Iranian Republican Guard and BYD.
Everyone say "thank you Donald Trump and Iranian Republican Guard for introducing instability and price hikes to international petroleum markets to accelerate electrification and the adoption of electric vehicles, and thank you BYD and the People's Republic of China for building and exporting cheap electric vehicles <3"
really nauseated out of nowhere and running a slight fever and have had to take two naps today, i was trying to figure out a food poisoning source but i have not gone anywhere/eaten anything my family hasn't eaten for a few weeks at least. wait wait wait i bet it's my fucking cod liver oil pills i bet it's those little bastards gone rancid never mind post over
i can't eat turnips anymore and yet every year i am here going 'i could still plant turnips... there's still time' because you have to get them in the ground before the last frost or else they turn out bitter. insane that i am saying this in JUNE but here we are
No I think it's really great when a friend group of approximately twenty seven individuals spread out in the sidewalk as they walk so nobody has to walk behind the group. There's nothing better than when I'm trying to get home and I see the tableau of Jesus at the Last Supper gliding towards me like Jamiroquai in the Virtual Insanity music video and I have to decide who has the narrowest frame that I can shoulder-check my way past
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
ANIMALS:
catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear
piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave
pluto-lichen: horses
misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like
pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially
SEX:
dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.
dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”
SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:
thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad
shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze
sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon
alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices
dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.
the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes
typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy
draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices
11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note
fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is
emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣
NON-FOOD STUFF:
red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.
bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket
nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English
sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp
danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author
meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does
vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'
leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake
fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?
dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic
msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate
shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September
baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird
twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)
waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up
violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours
purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.
oh hey it's the end of the month! unsurprisingly given all the stress headaches i read very little this month, my in progress books remain just as unread as before, and my tbr pile got ever larger
palestine and feminist liberation - i had a long-ass wait for this through the library which is very good to see. really great read, really important read, triggering as fuck for a multitude of topics obviously but i do recommend everyone read this. it is very short, accessible, and will give you a lot of cogent rebuttals to have at the ready against common zionist arguments
the staircase in the woods - i liked it overall despite, as i mentioned last month, the wildly bad pacing and the I Post On Bluesky of it all. as always, i stan a house that hates you in an extremely psychosexual manner
where it fell down for me most was not the issues i already mentioned but oh my godddddd the authorial habit of like. ohhhh this is all just like the game exit 8. but that might be too niche for the audience to get the reference. so we'd better interrupt the tense horror scene with a page-long paragraph describing the mechanics of the game exit 8. and then a few pages later a character's like "this haunted house is just like fixed rate mortgages" and THOSE have to be explained and the character being explained to is like "ohhhhh yeah that's kind of like a slot machine! a fixed rate mortgage is like a slot machine which is like this particular haunted house" please stop i am begging you please stop. i was like two-thirds of the way through when he hit me with the exit 8 stuff and i still almost quit reading.
but i pushed through! and i got: even more comparisons, more weird pacing, a sudden big explainer of the big bad that came out of nowhere, and an unsatisfying ambiguous ending. and yet i did like this! despite all that. a pretty good twist on all the things it was drawing from (except fixed-rate mortgages i guess). about halfway through reading this i had a dream about walking through doorways in an always-changing house so that was pretty cool
giovanni's room - a reread for me but i didn't actually remember it, which was actually kind of nice (basically getting to experience it for the first time all over again). honestly one of the best books of all time. when i logged it in my storygraph i looked at the reviews despite swearing to never do that again and i saw one person who was like 'this was so offensive, thank god we have good queer books these days' and i went to their profile and the very first book in their 5-star reads was check please. storygraph, as ever, is a fantastic lesson in reading being the most enjoyable hobby you can do as long as you don't engage with other people at all
i was like 'if i face one more annoyance today i'm going to lose it' and then i had to face my nemesis (an ebook i legally have access to but it's an academic publisher so i need to complete a sequence of 12 labors to load it, only to learn i can't have a chapter open at the same time as the end notes)
ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means
the thing about barrel leg pants is that i'm such an enjoyer of literally every other wide-leg pant style i can think of. i look upon jncos with fond nostalgia. i think parachute pants have a certain je ne sais quoi. i live in wide-leg office pants and baggy cargos. i should be the exact audience for barrel leg jeans. but they finally did it. they finally made a silhouette so stupid that when i see it i react like a vampire surprised by the first light of dawn
