e-Klaser @aluslaw - Tumblr Blog

Adieu, I guess.

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O’ Tumblr (a parody of Hellfire) Sung by Codot

Lyrics: Community Guidelines, you know I am a righteous man, of my content I am justly proud, Community Guidelines, you know I’m so much purer than, the filthy child porn producing crowd.

Then tell me, O Tumblr, why the whole of us must pay, Why the porno bots can’t be controlled? I see them, I block them, their posts no longer linger there, So why are we the ones that you must scold?

O Tumblr! Damn Tumblr! The Tumblr that had been, Would never allow this! Why purge my harmless sin?

It’s not our fault! We’re not to blame! It is the Russian bots and monsters who should pay! It’s not our fault! You made a plan! Where women’s nipples are more hunted than the Klan!

Protect us, O Tumblr, Don’t just become an Apple drone, Don’t let monopoly control your mind.

Don’t punish creators, Or we will find another home, Where we come first and aren’t left behind.

GUARD: Waiting4Codot, your post has been flagged. CODOT: What? GUARD: The puppies were mistakes for female-presenting nipples. CODOT: But how? Nevermind. Get out you idiot. I’ll find a better website if I have to burn down all the internet.

Oh Tumblr! Damn’d Tumblr! Now staff the time has come, Choose us the creators, or see your site undone.

Please just reconsider, Staff have mercy on me, Let Tumblr be ours or it will burn!

And yes, I know that, as a voice actor, I won’t be IMMEDIATELY affected, but a LOT of my friends will be, and that frustrates me. Also, it’s only a matter of time before someone makes a horrendous audio post and (given their current behaviour) they wouldn’t even police audio; they’d just get rid of it.

Numbered days, folks.

Like the song? It’s available for download on my Patreon (and yes, the track is FREE).

anachronic-cobra

Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.

alexyquest

Did this post just use a dialogue format to trick me into learning science

udunie

Had to check this out on wikipedia at least and boy was that a ride

done-with-your-bs

atepa09

SCIENCE!

not-a-bot-i-swear-deactivated20

Just so you guys know. Hysterical strength is basically your body not holding back and going %100 though there is a great danger of you hurting yourself or breaking something since your ignoring pain and going %100. There was a case where a kid deadlifted a car to save a sibling but,cracked 8 of his teeth during it because he was clenching his jaw so hard. So whilst you can lift a car or fight off polar bears. Your probably going to break something. Because most of the time when we are “giving our all” we are only giving a fraction of what we could give and this is because if we truly give our all we can seriously injure ourselves.