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Geralt: so, did you get me a Valentine's Day gift?

Yennefer: my existence is your gift.

Geralt: ... *opens mouth* *closes mouth and accepts fate*

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#yennefer x geralt #yenralt #twn #yennefer of vengerberg #geralt of rivia #the witcher #she's not wrong #yennefer is a little gift to us all

No more saying "GirlDad" or "BoyMom" as if the gender of a child (not their personality) determines how we parent. From now on, we only say "Mother of Dragons" or "Father of Demons".

#not the witcher #parenting #kids #parenting dragons #GOT #but not really #just something important i needed to say today #gender is a social construct #dragons are real #thank you for coming to this ted talk #no i will not be taking questions

#it me #the witcher #twn #jaskier #yennefer #yenskier #yennskier #yennefer of vengerberg #witcher #the witcher crack #jaskier x yennefer #yennefer x jaskier #dandelion

Yennefer: Jaskier, you incessant whore.

Jaskier: I take that as a compliment.

Yennefer: it was meant as one.

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#yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #yenskier #yennefer x jaskier #game respect game #twn

Jaskier: Hey, Yen-

Yen: ...

Jaskier: Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Because you're a hot mess honey.

Yen: ....

Jaskier: Did it hurt - when you crawled out of hell?

Yen: ...

Jaskier: Baby you must be dynamite, because you blow me away. And also you're loud and scary.

Yen: What is this? Are these love-hate pickup lines?

Jaskier: ...Yes. Are they working?

Yen: ...Yes.

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#twn #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #yennskier #yenskier #jaskier x yennefer #the witcher #witcher #yennefer x jaskier #the witcher crack #incorrect the witcher #all day i dream about yenskier

"Bard" (affectionate)

"Witch" (unexpectedly aroused)

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#tagging this the witcher season 2 spoilers because this is the most important plot snd character development in S2 #the witcher spoilers #jaskier #yennefer #yenskier #jaskier x yennefer #yennefer x jaskier #geraskefer #the witcher #twn #bard #witch

Yennefer: oh Geralt, I ran into your other "dear friend" in Oxenfurt.

Geralt: what - who?

Yennefer: the bard.

Geralt: that's - he's not - we are not "dear friends"!

Ciri: Jaskier the Bard? Geralt you told me you were very dear friends!

Geralt: yes, I mean no, we are but, that's not what I mean!

Yennefer: they're very very dear old friends, Ciri.

Ciri: is Jaskier your dear friend too lady Yennefer?

Yennefer: I'd say we're more "dear frenemies", though he was briefly "dear husband".

Geralt: wait, what does that mean?

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#geralt of rivia #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #geraskefer #geraskifer #twn #witcher #the witcher #geralt #yennefer #ciri #the witcher memes #incorrect the witcher

Ciri: Yennefer, if you can really read minds, what am I thinking about?

Yennefer: Puppies.

Ciri: Am not.

Yennefer: Ok, truly? Murder.

Ciri: What? How did you...! Oh my god, do Lambert!

Yennefer: also murder... and pecan pie.

Ciri: Vessimir?

Yennefer: The seaside.

Ciri: Jaskier?

Yennefer: Not appropriate for children. Oh, gods, Jaskier! Definitely not appropriate for children.

Ciri: Geralt?

Yennefer: Puppies.

Ciri: Yen!

Yennefer: No, really, little wolf puppies play fighting and sleeping. It's really very sweet.

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Ciri: Jask, can you keep a secret?

Jaskier: no, but tell me anyway.

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#i feel this is Jaskier and its also me #jaskier #ciri #the witcher #witcher #jaskier and ciri partners in crime #also i know some people hate Jask as a nickname but i think its smol and cute and i love it and him

#this is literally a diagram of what happened to my brain #geralt of rivia #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #twn #geralt x jaskier x yennefer #yennefer x jaskier x geralt #witcher #the witcher #geralt #the witcher memes #the witcher crack #geraskier #geraskefer #yennefer x geralt x jaskier is my drug now and no i do not want help dealing with this additiction

Geralt: Heh, so, this is weird but ... seems like the fans all think you two are fucking after Season Two...

Yen: Is that so?

Jaskier: Mmm, seems like.

Geralt: But, you're not.... right?

Jaskier: Not what?

Geralt: Fucking.

Yen: Who's fucking?

Geralt: You two.

Jaskier: Fucking who?

Geralt: Each other!

Jaskier: Me and her?

Yen: He and I?

Geralt: Yes! You!

Jaskier: Oh us! We two. Fucking. Hmm.

Geralt: ... but, you're not... right?

Yen: Yes, that's right.

Geralt: 'Yes, that's right' you're not... or 'yes that's right' you are.

Yen: Yes.

Geralt: ...

Jaskier: Geralt, now is when you say "hmm".

Geralt: ... hmm.

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#the best thing about yenskier is trolling Geralt #yennefer #jaskier #yenskier #twn #the witcher #geralt #geralt of rivia #yennskier #yennefer x jaskier x geralt #witcher shitpost #witcher crack #incorrect witcher quotes #yennefer of vengerberg #witcher #ahhh these two make me smile #enemies to lovers to partners in crime

Lambert: ok marry, fuck, kill: a striga, a kikimore, and a basilisk?

Cohen: hmm... kill them all.

Vessimir: agree.

Lambert: yeah me too.

Ciri: ... I don't think you guys know how to play this game.

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#kaer morons #the witcher #lambert #witcher coen #vessimir #kaer morhen #ciri of cintra #kaer morons are my favorites - big dumb strong men with more muscle than brains - NAWWW!

Geralt: Yen, should we get a pet?

Yen: why? We already have Jaskier.

Geralt: Jaskier's a man, not a pet!

Jaskier: ** rolls over in bed ** will someone please tickle my ears and tell me what a good handsome boy I am?

Geralt: ok, fair point.

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#geraskifer #geraskefer #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #geralt #witcher #the witcher #geralt of rivia #the witcher memes #the witcher crack #I'd rub that belly

Yennefer: hey Jaskier - get fucked!

Jaskier: by who?

Yennefer: me.

Jaskier: alright then.

Yennefer: well, that was easy.

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#I'm so vibing Yenskier atm #don't blame me - season 2 made me do it!#yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #the witcher #witcher #the witcher memes #the witcher crack #incorrect witcher quotes #twn

Ciri: what is there between you and Geralt?

Yennefer: longing, regret, hope and fear.

Ciri: and between you and Jaskier?

Yennefer: pegging.

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#so basically the same thing #the witcher #yennefer of vengerberg #jaskier #the witcher memes #the witcher crack #geralt of rivia #ciri #ciri of cintra #the witcher season 2

Jaskier: Ok, marry, fuck, kill -

Yennefer: you, all of the above.

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#the witcher season 2 #yennefer of vengerberg #the witcher #jaskier

Jaskier: it blows my mind that nature pre-sliced oranges for us...like, she wants us to eat them.

Yennefer: ok, but why would nature make the inside so sweet, when the outside is so tough and sour?

Jaskier: kinda like you...

Yennefer: oh shit.... am I an orange?

Geralt: so, did you two smoke a bunch of herbs again?

Jaskier: .... ok, yes, but, it's still crazy about oranges right?

Yennefer: *fighting back tears* Geralt, I'm an orange. I've never felt more seen.

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#the adventures of Jaskier and Yen #jaskier #yennefer of vengerberg #the witcher #witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt #yennefer #netflix witcher #incorrect witcher quotes #incorrect witcher #incorrect the witcher #the witcher memes #witcher memes #I feel like these two would bond getting high together

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