#incorrect the witcher

[greenleaf4stuff]

Incorrect The Witcher #2

Geralt: I'm surprised you didn't flirt with them.

Jaskier: I don't flirt with people who are working or while I'm working. It's unprofessional.

Geralt: Oh, so you do have some self-control

(Source: @incorrectquoteprompts)

[alwaysfoolsparsley]

Yennefer: oh Geralt, I ran into your other "dear friend" in Oxenfurt.

Geralt: what - who?

Yennefer: the bard.

Geralt: that's - he's not - we are not "dear friends"!

Ciri: Jaskier the Bard? Geralt you told me you were very dear friends!

Geralt: yes, I mean no, we are but, that's not what I mean!

Yennefer: they're very very dear old friends, Ciri.

Ciri: is Jaskier your dear friend too lady Yennefer?

Yennefer: I'd say we're more "dear frenemies", though he was briefly "dear husband".

Geralt: wait, what does that mean?

.

[incorrectthewitcher]

Jaskier: I found that I have been happier ever since I changed from drinking coffee in the morning to orange juice

Jaskier: Yennefer says it's the vitamin-C, I personally think it's the vodka

[bloededhoine]

lambert: found out the carpenter in ard carraigh got arrested for selling fisstech

vesemir: what?!

lambert: you just never really know people...

lambert: i've been going to this guy for years...

lambert: never even knew he was a carpenter.

[hallowthyname]

[at an awards banquet]

jaskier, only slightly drunk: well, first of all, i’d like to thank geralt of rivia, the love of my life, for telling me valdo marx was going to win so i shouldn’t bother preparing a speech,

[silver-tongued-deovel]

Jaskier is DTF

down to follow (for two whole decades)

[super-marvel-dc]

Geralt: Are you good at negotiations?

Y/N: Yes, but last week a dragon almost set my hair on fire, so it's your turn to negotiate.

[itsemmyb]

jaskier: wait how big are you though?

geralt, a himbo™: like 6'1" ish?

jaskier: no, i mean like in bed. how big are you?

geralt: still 6'1"? just sideways???

jaskier: *leaves*