human disaster

Hey. I'm Lucas (He/him) T Day Aug 3 2016. 24 Asexual USA

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

The day I brought her home she fell asleep with her little chin tucked into my palm in the passenger seat. Now she’s too big but she still climbs up front and tries to monopolize my arm.

[demilypyro]

the zip-up hoodie is the single best garment ever invented

[iamtheconfusedman]

FALSE. The pullover hoodie is the best, zip-ups are an ABOMINATION

[demilypyro]

can’t wear them open or half-open for warmth control

can’t wear them open to show off your rad t-shirt underneath

can’t wear them open to flutter behind you like a cool cape

have to awkwardly squeeze your entire body through them to put them on or take them off, blocking your vision and messing up your hair

are you a FOOL?

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I do love zipups but consider: I remove my pullover, stretching my arms over my head, and as I do just a bit of midriff above my pants waist is visible to my rival with whom I've formed a shaky alliance, driving them wild.

[bogleech]

Yeah why wasn’t this always the standard way, no wonder I never liked caramel apples before. Why would I want to mash my entire face into a food just for 1/10th of a bite of caramel and 9/10 regular apple

[thothoes]

my fav twitter thread this winter

[mollyjames]

The dumbest thing I ever believed as a kid was deciding to stick with the whole “being a boy” thing because I was way more likely to get a girlfriend that way. I consider this the worst because:

1. Horrible priorities really.

2. I am 9000% more attractive now.

[mollyjames]

I think I had this attitude like: “how many girls would date a trans girl anyways?”

LOTS. LOTS YA DINGUS.

[mollyjames]

I guess I just want to put this out there in case there are any trans or nb kids out there following me who think they need to compromise their identity for the sake of romantic prospects. I fell into that trap and it seriously sabotaged a lot of my personal development. Not to sound like a cheesy after school program but uhh… just be yourself? It’s fine. No really.

[thedreamingbutterfly]

You hear all these “you’re not a real fan unless” and it lists a hundred things, but I met a dude today who saw my Deadpool pin and asked what my favorite story arc was, and I explained that while I loved Deadpool, I was new to Marvel (I only really got into it a year and a half ago) and hadn’t been able to find a lot of the comics. Instead of making a face or a derogatory comment, he just offered to send me all the stuff he had. That is a true fan.

[prismatic-bell]

I told the guy at the comic shop when I went in for Black Widow that I’d seen a few Harley Quinn panels on Tumblr and thought it looked badass but didn’t know where to start because my entire involvement in DC fandom was watching the Batman cartoon as a kid. This guy sitting at one of the tables playing Yu-Gi-Oh, wearing a comic shirt and carrying a definitely-hardcore-fan amount of swag, spins around and goes “dude! You’ve never read DC? Check out the back issues wall. They’ve got all kinds of Harley Quinn.” He then proceeded to explain how “New 52″ was a spinoff, and had some split opinions in the fandom, but either continuity is good as long as you pick one and stay with it so you don’t get mixed on what’s going on. 

True fans love to see other people loving the stuff they love.

[thomas4th-deactivated20200823]

See how easy it is to be “that cool person who helped me get into X” instead of “that asshole who made me feel bad for not knowing everything about X”?

IT’S NOT EVEN DIFFICULT TO NOT BE A SHITLORD. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. And you never had one.

[catchymemes]

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Australia do you take constructive criticism on your wildlife?

[r4cs0]

[p4inst4r]

rb this if u think hozier's take me to church is for gays only tryna prove a point to my straight friend

[forgamers]

[nerevar-shid-and-fard]

i’m gonna piss myself

[cad2277]

EVERY FUCKING TIME

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

I fucken knew it

[omnybus]

@william-snekspeare

[procrastinatingartist-writer-de]

That’s ok! It’s the thought that counts!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have GOT to stop glorifying the ‘mystery’ of jack the ripper. he was just another violent psychopath targeting vulnerable women in a society that had already written them off. 

there are numberless men like that throughout history and I’m tired of us turning them into legends

[argentsileo]

I’ll bite, what’s the chum bucket theory?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it’s from this Non-adventures of Wonderella comic!

[biglawbear]

So this is exactly what New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern did after Christchurch. She refused to say the killer’s name and everyone else followed and now nobody remembers or knows who it was.

[brnbear550]

Feeling ao damn relevant today

[thatfrigginturtle]

[11thsense]

This mr Rogers documentary is killing me he said so much meaningful things about children....that I love. He told kids they didn’t have to do anything to be valued and loved...that’s so important. Capitalists and dumbasses were upset and criticized him for raising “entitled people” when all he did was tell them that they are more than how they contribute to society.

[11thsense]

Children, people, us, we are entitled to love. Children deserve to know first and foremost that they do not have to grow up to be working machines in order to be loved. They need to know that adults will protect them....

[babyarea]

i’ve said it before i’ll say it again there’s a difference between lady gaga singing born this way in 2011 and taylor swift singing “shade never made anyone less gay” (whatever the fuck that means) to profit off of it in 2019

[femmeharlequin-deactivated20240]

The difference is that Lady Gaga is bisexual and Taylor Swift is straight

[enigma-boi]

Honestly, even if Taylor came out as gay or bi tomorrow, “You Need To Calm Down” would still be tacky because of tone an content.

Born This Way was, unequivocally, “You are beautiful for being YOU in a world that often tells you you’re not” while “You Need To Calm Down” is basically “Me, and The Gays™, have haters”.

Gaga was singing about celebrating herself with Born This Way. Taylor Swift comes off as comparing homophobia as equivocable the beef she had with Katy Perry.

I feel a better comparison from the early 10s is Same Love by Macklemore. While yeah, the song is clumsy and hokey, at least “I received a lot of misdirected homophobia growing up and I can only imagine how much worse it is for gay folks” is more tasteful than “homophobia is just like when critics say my songs aren’t good or I get snake emoji replies on Twitter.”

Even if she has the best intentions, the final product comes off as, well, tone deaf and a little exploitative.

[lovelustquotes]

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

god i love being part of the internet’s most monetarily worthless user base. i love going to bed knowing that at least one social media site isn’t making shit off my presence.

[tropicalhomestead]

Math time:

$1.1 billion paid by Verizon

Minus the purported $3 million buyout

Divided by numbers of unique users (380 million in August 2019)

You, personally, cost Verizon $2.89 USD

[dreamlogic]

RIP RIP RIP i can never interact with my neighbor again holy fuck

i was outside w/ my cat just now. and he went behind a shrub for a bit, and me not realizing my neighbor was on the other side of that same shrub, poked my head round and said way louder than necessary, “my SCRUMPTIOUS darling boy, what ever are you doing over there??”

and this 40-something man i very rarely speak to handled it w/ remarkable grace and very tentatively responded “…..watering my.. roses? you?”

[lemonsharks]

Imagine your OTP