You don't want to break the seal now...

you can never go back.

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

My tongue tastes weird.

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

I forgot I was wearing shoes...

[meanplastic]

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

That is not appropriate brunch conversation. I am a fucking lady!

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

I'd rather be self-centered than unsure.

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

I drank 2 glasses of water today, so I'm set for the night.

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

Text me later

If you still wanna be friends.

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

My three weaknesses:

Depression, rolled ankles, and margarita Monday.

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

I spent your dollar on this song. Deal with it.

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

Poe-tayto, toe-mahto.

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

All these boys wanna hang with me, but I just go home and eat fruit. Who needs boys when you have oranges!?

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

I put the "whore" in "horrible."

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

My apartment is our DD!!

We can just walk there!

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

I think I have drunk poisoning.

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

He may be good at friendships...

But this is a vagina-ship!

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

He said, "of course!"

That means "yes" in all languages!

[alyssasdrunkadvice]

All women deserve free pizza!

It should be written in the bible! Because we have vaginas!!!