I wasn’t going to say it, but screw it. Now I am. I posted this on Facebook the other day. A friend of mine shared it, which surprised me because it seemed to conflict with her very brazen sentiments towards police officers. So I sort of expected it when her post disappeared. What I was unprepared for was a few hours later when she posted this:
Earlier I posted a picture of a twitter post about police and free citizens..something about do what they want and no one gets hurt. I want to apologize for that, I read it wrong. I support our officers in all this garbage.
I took it as a personal offense since she was apologizing for essentially my thoughts as I obviously agreed with the post in sharing it. So now I feel the need to explain myself and I don’t know why because I don’t owe it to anyone. Some people may not understand how I can relate to a minority at all as I am a white, heterosexual, cis female.
But here’s the thing. Every time I read “Just do what they say and you won’t get hurt,” my stomach turns to knots. And I wasn’t going to say anything. I really REALLY wasn’t and I won’t say anything on Facebook because telling my story also divulges some really dark parts of the life of one of my best friends and I respect her and refuse to drag her into it. But today, the same friend who apologized for this post, said something else. Today she posted:
I am so sick of seeing police officers being bashed and disrespected. If ya'll would just be respectful like decent human beings they wouldn't have to be rough or whatever. Teach you're kids to go to them for help and respect them not to be afraid of them. They are just trying to do their job. They are here to protect us but if someone is being stupid they have to protect others from their stupidity...how hard is that to understand? Grow up people.
And I cannot keep my mouth shut anymore. I was 14 when I discovered that this police officer ordered pictures of me from the school photographer and kept the photos in his dresser. I was 15 when he called me a bitch for getting a boyfriend. I was 16 when he started following me home from work at night in his cruiser. Other police officers called him a loose-canon, but no one did anything about it. Nothing ever really came of it. My senior year at a football game when I was sitting in the stands with my parents, he had me kicked out of the game claiming that I was a threat to his step-daughter. He claimed that there was video footage of me threatening her in the school hall. My parents met with school officials and no video footage was ever produced. Largely in part because the footage never existed.
This account only states what was done to me. I cannot account for his actions against other young girls including one of my best friends, his step-daughter. I can tell you what I witnessed. I witnessed her at 13 crying after school in a dark classroom, not wanting to go home. I never asked her why. In my heart, I always knew. But she told me, “When I was little, he arrested my dad for drugs and then started dating my mom. He asked me if he could marry her and I said yes. I never should have said yes. I never should have said yes.” She cried over and over. We never again talked about that day. Every time she stayed the night at my house, because obviously my parents would never let me stay with her, I witnessed him stopping by my house to kiss her goodnight on the mouth. I witnessed him making her sit on his lap at football games. I witnessed him in an irrational fit of rage when a sweet boy from youth group simply walked her home from the church two blocks away from her house. I witnessed him explaining to another friend of ours what sex felt like. And I witnessed him sit at the parking lot where I worked, every night that I worked, and watch me. I witnessed him sit in the alley in his police cruiser and watch me walk to my car after I locked up the store. My co-workers all knew about it and they always waited for me before leaving so I wouldn’t have to walk out alone. There’s more. Lots more. But you get the point.
I moved after graduation and never think much about it, until I’m driving at night and a police officer gets behind me. Then I think of how terrified I was as a 105 pound 16 year old girl being followed by a police officer who I knew was dangerous. If he had ever flipped on his lights, I would have been scared for my life. But to keep driving until I felt safe, would be “disrespectful” according to this logic. When I read statements like, “Just do what they say and you won’t get hurt,” or “ If ya'll would just be respectful like decent human beings they wouldn't have to be rough or whatever,” I hear it as a 16 year old girl, pulled over on the side of the road at night, by a very bad man with very bad intentions. “Just do what he says and you won’t get hurt.” No actually. Sorry. But no.
Not all police officers are here to protect us. Some are, yes. But some are also corrupt, egotistical, power-hungry, sadists. To assume the integrity of a person based on their chosen profession is naive and imprudent. Choosing an honorable profession, does not make a personal honorable by default. Anyone can bring corruption into any field of work. Bad people are just bad people. How hard is that to understand?
