Manuscriptorum Amaranthine

A silly blog for self-indulgent posting adult; minors DNI

[amaranthinehorizon]

Let's Get Some Things in Order.

Hello folks; I'm Amaranth, a transfem dragonkin kinda new to all this blogging stuff -- and social media in general, if I'll be honest.

I consider myself a bit of a writer; I'll be using this blog to post little snippets or pieces contemplating writing as a craft itself. More the former than the latter, but I'm not going to exclude myself from the option. In my writing, I try to capture emotions, moments, pieces of the immaterial we can struggle to convey on our own. I find the words that carry their feeling further than the page has any right to bear, and use them to communicate... something. Art can be, perhaps, the ultimate act of empathy; I believe this with all my being.

Much of my actual writing will end up under the #microfiction tag. Creature posting - that is, something which evokes the named being or therian/kinfeels thereof, is going to be under the appropriate tag - #dragonposting for example. It's not the only creature I'll write for, thus the variability in tags. I do write for my friends as well as myself. I plan on using #musing for more contemplative bits, but haven't gotten quite to it yet.

I'll try to update this as I start using more tags or my use of the blog expands - for now, this should cover my intentions and actions so far. Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful time.

[hemipenal-system]

hey? you awake?

yeah, it worked! try to move a bit- hey now don’t go crazy. you’re probably gonna be really dizzy for a minute. just get used to moving and- ok i would not recommend standing up, i know you’re excited for the new body but your brain has no idea how to be quadrupedal yet and you’re gonna- yup, fall on your face. called it. you should listen to me sometimes. you ok?

well, i see you’ve already figured out how to hiss. just move slowly- ok see, you’re standing! just hold still for a moment. your brain doesn’t have very good neural mapping yet, this body has a totally different musculature than your old one

ok, try to move your limbs. one at a time. up and down, up and down. your brain needs to learn how to do that. ok, now try your wings! open- yeah! you like that? you seem excited. you think you can walk?

a bit shaky, but not bad. follow me to this treadmill. we’re gonna put you at a nice leisurely walk and build that gait up so you don’t wreck your new hips. not bad, loosen your shoulders and swing your tail a bit more to work as a counterbalance. back left, front left, back right, front right- there you go! nice job! i’m gonna speed you up to a trot, ok? left, right, left, right- yeah! you’re learning fast! ok, done with the treadmill

rear up. good girl. ok, shift your wings down and put your weight on them. this is how you use your front paws. tilt your head back and forward, stretch your neck joints out a bit. good. touch your horns with your tail? good. now touch your belly? good. wings up! wings out! wings in! good. you’re gonna want to do these stretches every day for a couple weeks to get the full motion range

speaking of range, follow me. ok, that target is 30 feet away. think you can hit it with some fire? pretty good, a bit to the side- hey, don’t snarl at me, you’re the one who missed it. try again. good. when you get home, find a rock or something and practice your aim and your throat control. you’re opening your flame valves a bit too far and it’s adding too much accelerant, which is wrecking your accuracy

this book has all the speech drills we give people. since you have a syrinx now, you’re going to have to learn to speak again. don’t worry, you know how it’s supposed to sound, so it’s easier than it sounds. normally it takes about a month to get back to full speaking fluency, but you’ll be understandable, if a bit odd-sounding, in less than a week if you stay on top of these

anything else you need? any questions?

ok, we called you a transport. no, girl, you cannot fly home. i know you’re excited to fly for the first time, everyone is, but don’t do it for 4 more days at least, your body needs time to learn fine motor control before you can maneuver safely in the air. we’re gonna drive you home. it’s on the house. don’t forget to drink a lot of water and take your prescribed regimen of hormones until your new body starts making them

congrats on dragonhood

[hemipenal-system]

hey you. design a ttrpg. do it now. it’s fun

[glissadia]

Many dragons have the ability to change their shape, compressing themselves into a human shape for interacting with other humans, engaging in human society, infiltration, convenience, relationships, and whatnot. It’s remarkably effective, so much so that some might find themselves spending days or even weeks at a time in human form. Perhaps longer.

Of course, being human comes with its own set of challenges, and they can be… discouraging. Restrictive. Some are able to handle it better than others. Some… aren’t.

Some even forget, at times. Or they don’t fully forget, but now the prospect of being something else seems so out of reach that they can’t find it within themselves to change back.

Dragons are supremely powerful creatures, but even they need help sometimes. Reassurance, reminders, support, affection… to simply be seen as they are, and treated as such.

Don’t ever let a dragon forget what they are.

[amaranthinehorizon]

Do you wonder how it might feel? Having a tail slowly drawn out from a small nub, acquiring sharp bits and proper covering as the limb is pulled and shaped and refined like a clay model, carefully sculpted into being by the careful talons of a much larger dragoness, cooing over her 'work of art?' The sensation of the malleable substance is dulled, subdued, but you can feel her pulling against it, drawing the mass longer and thinner out behind you. The points of her claws gently score the surface of your faux tail, inscribing patterns with pleasant jolts and steady pressure dragging across its surface. You take a sharp, startled breath when she goes back to where it meets your body, developing the join and ensuring it blends properly into your form. Her fire gives the appendage proper color, fuses it to your body, causes the muscle to kick-start and the nerves to carry their clearest tender messages yet across your spine. You flick and swing your tail as pins and needles tap-dance across each precious centimeter, and then you can feel the whole of the limb: tightly coiled muscle with a soft touch of padding, adorned in finely glimmering gemstone hues. You can feel it like no phantasm ever before, a weight and mass that disturbs your balance with each instinctive sway, a presence that smarts when you smack it against the ground by accident; a dream made impossibly real. It's perfect. If you glance up at your 'artist' with pleading eyes, she laughs with a deep rumble and rolling trill. She's got a lot of work to do, but if you let her plan it out it'll all be like this.

[amaranthinehorizon]

Imagine first a hug; two large arms wrapping around your shoulders and body, holding you close in the firm embrace of someone warm and large and soft and strong. You can feel the scales against your cheek, you can feel the claws that cap their digits. You can feel a long, broad, sinuous tail coil around your ankles.

Then, darkness descends in the shape of two expanses of plumage and dense, scaly canvas. Mighty wings drape over you like heavy curtains, frame you like a tent against a tree, shroud you from the outside world for a time as you are pulled away from its merciless flow. You can feel a wingtalon card through your hair, beside where a horn ought to grow. You hear a whisper beside your ear; "It's alright, little drake."

[hemipenal-system]

lay prone on your front and close your eyes. if you have headphones, put on ambient noise from your habitat

breathe. breathe in. hold it. breathe out. feel the weight of your wings shift and settle on your back each time it rises and falls. breathe in and stretch your wings upward, then out, then fold them back in as you exhale. repeat this a few times to really shake the dust off your wings

keep breathing. clear your mind. sway your hips from side to side, and notice how the weight of your tail adds momentum to each mighty swish. tilt them forwards and back, and feel how your tail pulls your hips down. curl and uncurl it. try to move it a little bit

nuzzle against your scales. maybe even lick them a bit if you’re feeling particularly fastidious. how do they feel? rough? smooth? warm? cold? if you have feathers, do you feel them? your hide is tough and impenetrable. consider how it envelops your body and keeps you safe

flex your claws. they’re sharp, aren’t they? be careful with them. you don’t want to cut anything by accident. run your tongue over your teeth. those are pretty sharp too. you’re built to hunt. you were designed by millions of years of evolution to catch and eat prey. you’re the perfect predator

focus on what your highly-tuned senses are telling you. what can you hear? what can you smell? how does the environment around you feel on your scales? think about the taste of prey on your tongue? does it make you salivate? are you hungry?

open your eyes. go hunt

[glissadia]

Dragon gently and lovingly pressing her lips to yours and breathing out, filling you with a flame that does not burn and leaves your core ablaze even after she pulls away…

[glissadia]

I’ve always been really enamored with the concept of dragons who shapeshift into human (or humanoid) form, either for interacting with people or blending into society or for any other reason. There’s something about looking at a girl who, for all intents and purposes, appears perfectly human, but knowing that what you are looking at is a dragon, with all the power and poise and myth and ability that implies. There’s also something about her own confidence and knowledge, that even without her wings or horns or tail or scales, she is still a dragon.

Which… probably says a lot about my own feelings on being a dragon.

[amaranthinehorizon]

A dragon sits next to you on the bus. They apologize for their wing getting in the way, shuffling around and trying to squeeze into the small nook set aside for unusually-shaped passengers.

Their gaze lingers on you as you shuffle aside and try not to stare too much at their gemstone scales or sleek horns or the arch of their spine traced in fine protofeathers that tuft at the tip of their tail.

They offer to let you feel it, and for some reason the notion sticks in your mind. In three stops, you take them up on it, feeling their scales beneath your fingers.

"Yours would be just as beautiful, I think," they whisper; their snout behind your head, their warm breath tickling your neck.

[zykeroth]

dragoness looking for errant hatchlings at the park, does this subsonic trill sound to call the kids back. you're just sitting on the nearby bench or walking and something twinges painfully in your chest each time she does it.

you get up to leave but dragoness locks eyes with you when she makes the noise again and watches you twitch. confused you look around but you're the only one hearing it. some kind of whine escapes you when she trills again.

the dragoness sighs. her kids are still off somewhere and it looks like she found an extra hatchling that doesn't know what she is. she's got her work cut out for her.

[zykeroth]

you stand there, frozen as the dragoness walks up to you. you don't know what you expected, but her gently bumping your forehead with her own and pulling you to her chest with a wing isn't it.

with your cheek against her shoulder, something like skin starvation eases up in you- there's something incredibly comforting about the texture of her scales.

"you've been lonely, haven't you little drake?" she croons at you.

the implied kinship in the endearmant is too much, and tears escape your eyes as you hold on to her with dear life.

[briebo-art]

I wrote a short piece of flash fiction based on a tumblr post that kind of made me feral, and some people I know encouraged me to make a cover for it and slap it on Scribblehub despite it's length.

So, I did! You can read that here if you'd like.

As for the cover, I slapped together something simple really quickly last night. Here's what that looks like:

Anyways, that's all for now! Ciao <3

[hemipenal-system]

shh, little thing. how long have you been pretending to be human?

stop that. the beast inside you is cooped up and wants out. don’t deny what you are. we both know it even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself yet.

i can tell. i can see how you look at your hands and flex your fingers, and how you walk around on your toes with your legs close together so your hips sway like they would if you had a tail. i know those feelings - the crushing feeling that something just isn’t there. i felt that too once.

stop hiding from it. embrace it. you were made to spit fire and smoke and rip your enemies in half. creatures like us were never meant for office work or traffic jams or taxes. give in to the dragon inside you. let it out.

build a nest. drop to all fours. sharpen your claws. tear apart the knights who come to slay you in your teeth. shed your soft, delicate human skin in exchange for sleek, glossy scales too strong to be sliced by any blade. feel your back split open as your bones move and your folded wing-limbs emerge and breathe for the first time.

unfurl your wings and feel the sun on them.

fly.

[skalosbookwyrm]

Writing Prompt for my fellow dragonkin:

Tomorrow morning you wake up and you are your dragon self. No conditions to achieve it. No necessary hardships. The transformation was so painless you didn't even wake up during the transition.

Tell me about your first day as a dragon.

[amaranthinehorizon]

The morning is not the dawn. Dawn's light brings with it warmth and motion, the steady rotation of the celestial vault heralding the inexorable course of the day from one moment to the next. But I wake to starlight and still-black skies, to the shrill scream of alarms I do not trust myself to rise without. They pierce, they ring, and it is a well practiced motion that ghosts my finger over the screen to turn them away. There will be another, in ten minutes' time. Because I know myself. I know my habits.

Today, though, I will take another moment. There is a weight at my side, cradled softly in my arms. It emulates a dream ever beyond my reach. Echoes fantasies closely held for all they cannot be fulfilled. I curl in upon it, feel and hear the shifting of my body against layers of loosely draped fabric. I move awkwardly, sluggishly; there is more of me than I expect, and the blankets are a tangle overtop. But my dreams were vivid enough that whispers drift through to the waking, and so I pay it no more heed than I must.

Another alarm trips, and it almost hurts to let it go for longer than a few moments. I fumble, something catching against the sheets, but I manage to lift my phone and lift my eyes, and were it not for the alarm I would have stopped for a good, long moment. As it is, I hesitate, wincing at the anthem of wakefulness that slips into its fifth stanza. The screen protector is scored deep by the point of a talon as I hurriedly slide the notification aside, dismissing one more notification among dozens. I lift my blankets, throwing them over to the other side of the bed and looking down at my erstwhile sleep-aid, still grasped beneath a wing I did not have when I finally fell asleep.

A violet dragon plushie looks up at me, innocent and inanimate. My wing twitches and withdraws, as I idly consider the grace with which the muscles of my back and chest and in the newfound limb itself pull and twist like another arm in its own right, and just as naturally as any limb with which I was born. I reach for the toy, holding it against the scutes of my belly, laying my head down beside its own. I hug it close, snugly, tightly, proving my digits as dexterous as my claws keen. My tail wraps around, the tip within easy reach of my forelimbs, and I just take a moment to drink it all in.

There is a weight to my body, not of pure mass but in tightly-corded muscle and a softer layer that cushions my frame. There is a shimmering sheen to my scales, not simply in the hue of my armor but in subtle markings I can just make out in the starlight - so much brighter than it has any right to be - playing across my body and spanning my wings. There are a multitude of scents that commingle in my room - the two strongest being my own; one from before, with an oily tang I decide I do not much like, and one newly minted: softer, subtler, filled with information because somehow I understood what the layered notes convey. Warmth flushes my cheeks as I make another realization, a flicker of glee stirring the loose heat that pools within my chest. A scent and taste I know in my heart as dragonfire - my dragonfire - stains the room, embers and vapors escaping the nares of my snout as I giggle, shaking with the attempt to contain myself. I can hear my own breath, stuttering with mirth, and the way my movements cause my bed beneath to groan and grumble, wood and steel holding firm.

My laughter fades away as a tension I'd forgotten I always carried finally loosens. I yawn wide, a quiet, keening whine escaping my throat before a low, rolling rumble sings a rhythm of joy into the early hours of the morning. A brief stretch leaves my tail smacking against the dresser by the far wall and my wings bumping against the walls, and I idly muse that I have a wider range of motion than an obligate quadruped before it hits me that I'm probably going to be relearning how to walk, rather than deftly striding out reborn.

That's the thought which grounds me.

Outside.

Because even if I'm not hallucinating with such vigor to have broken myself, today I won't be making it to work; can't, even. Brilliant, beautiful wings does not a gift of flight yet make, and I doubt I would fit in a conventional car seat anymore. Let alone carry the backpack which holds my computer and the trappings of my trade. And while I could still use my computer - at least, probably - my poor phone disclaims the assertion that I might do so with any ease.

I reach across my bedside table, finding the pencil cup and my collection of writing implements, finding one of the handful of pens that had a stylus tip. My hands are deft, but it takes a second as I settle on my side - one wing splayed awkwardly behind me - to arrange my device and type out a request to my supervisor. Slow, steady, but precise.

Calling out sick today.

It'll probably be more than just today, but I can navigate tomorrow when it comes. I grab my plushie, and hold it like a precious hatchling as I wait for the sun's brilliant gaze to peek through the window and warm my scales, settling first back on my side, and then rolling and adjusting until I found something that felt more right, more comfortable, and which didn't threaten a limb with pins and needles. Horns I hadn't noticed before jabbed into my pillows, but thankfully not the wall. My nest would need to be remade, anyway.

[amaranthinehorizon]

It feels half-remembered. A wispy, ghostlike hiraeth that sheathes me in glistening iridescence. That rings with a rhythm in the shape of an open, empty sky. I can almost scrape against the surface of a sensation denied to my flesh, the hollow echoes of something that wishes to be.

The sensation is not there, not in truth, but rather that glimmer of nascence which maddens, teases at my flesh with the weight of scales I do not have. Cannot have. My shoulders heave with wings that do not know the kiss of the summer sun, that cannot know what it is to hug the breeze or catch the whimsy of the winds. I imagine a tail, in my more fanciful moods, to hold and to trace the feathers and spines and the metallic scrape of scales against talons that - still and again - are not here.

[corneliaavenue-ao3]

Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

[gnar-slabdash]

Reblog to give prev the TIME to write their fanfiction

[cutebutalsostabby]

Reblog to give prev the hocus focus to write their fanfiction.

[septic-dr-schneep]

Reblog to give prev the energy to write their fanfiction

[imsopopfly]

Reblog to give prev the executive function to write their fanfiction

[hemipenal-system]

hey! wanna go hunting? i try to know all the dragons who live on these cliffs with me and i haven't ever really met you yet! if you like fish, there's some really great ones in the bay down there, and you can just stick your head into the water and snatch them mid-flight

how? what do you mean how, it's not hard, you just- wait, can you not fly? how have you made it to adulthood as a dragon without flying? didn't your parents teach you as a hatchling?

oh...

i had no idea. i forget all the time that not every dragon starts out as a dragon. you've never flown before, huh? human cities aren't super well-optimized for flying around in, and you just moved out here... well, this is a great place for your first flight! you don't have to figure out how to get off the ground, you just jump off and open your wings!

yeah, i know it's scary. you'll be fine! your brain may not know how to do it, but your body does, i promise. as soon as you're in the air and your wings are open it'll come naturally. i've been teaching hatchlings to fly for years, it won't be any different for you, i swear. besides, i won't let you fall. i'm bigger than you and if something happens i'll just get under you and stop your fall. the bay is a lot deeper than it looks anyway, it's totally fine to crash-land into it if you need. i promise you that you will not get hurt. dragon's honor

look, i can go first if you want and then circle back. would that be nice? ok, watch me. wings close to your sides and you jump down, and then pull your head back and open your wings to level out. like this!

...

ok, now you try it! on 3! 1, 2...

ok, open your wings- yeah, perfect! ok, you turn by leaning your body and tilting your wings to one side! we're gonna bank right and glide through that natural arch- yes you can, you big baby, your form is great! alright, follow me now!

see, look at that. you're a natural. stop with all the "i can't fly" talk, you're doing great. see the waves coming in? let's drop down to the water and shoot the barrel on some waves and get some fish, huh?

ok, but i'm leaving you up here if you don't follow me... 😁

dive! cmon, faster! alright, wings out... now! see, you're not even wet! into the wave! oh, nice form! love the little barrel roll! now stick your head into the water and grab yourself a fish, you've earned it. what do you think about a slower celebratory lap around the bay just to warm down a bit? hell yeah

now you're gonna perch on that big tree limb. think you can get that? no no on the tree on the tree- are you ok? good. any landing you can walk away from, right? cmon, come savor your fish with me. we can practice your landings tomorrow...