playing minecraft with my good pal gregor samsa
Game of Thrones Daily
šŖ¼

Love Begins
YOU ARE THE REASON
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

blake kathryn

Andulka

⣠Chile in a Photography ā£

JBB: An Artblog!
cherry valley forever
taylor price
Show & Tell

PR's Tumblrdome

Origami Around

Product Placement
No title available

No title available

ā

No title available
Keni

seen from Germany
seen from Honduras
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Türkiye
seen from Brazil

seen from Spain
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from Brazil
seen from Greece

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye

seen from Brazil
seen from Germany

seen from Germany

seen from Türkiye
seen from Brazil

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
@amazing-post-archive
playing minecraft with my good pal gregor samsa
does anyone have more examples of posts like this where theyre suggesting new features that would make this site more like a funhouse/mirror maze
first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horsesā tails to stir up dust and make it look like thereās a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isnāt any dust and the enemy can clearly see thereās like twenty of us all spread out in a line
second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isnāt misdirected at all
third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldnāt decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below
fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy heās fighting have really similar names and itās finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now weāre stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?
fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and iām pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lordās wife and leaves
sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city heās taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it
seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out heās actually a pretty cool guy, and he isnāt even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but iām really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him
eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord iām worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night
ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that iāve suggested it heās really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him
tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lordās city i realize i wonāt be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lordās head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lordās camp he already would have. that doesnāt change the fact that my men are still trapped. theyāre prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk
eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lordās room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. donāt ask what i was doing in my loser liege lordās room. itās not important
twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leaderās second-in-command. ITāS THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORDāS WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says āwouldnāt you like to knowā and leaves. i donāt know what to say to that so i just let him go
thirteenth day as a second century warlord iām honestly so sick of not knowing whatās going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the womenās area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lordās wife is. i ask her what sheās doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leaderās formationās weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poemās significance. she shares the first couplet with me but iām discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesnāt need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, itās the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme
fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesnāt trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if thatās really true, because i canāt bear to live if i canāt protect him and i canāt protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader
fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and theyād like to stay with him if i donāt mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i donāt tell them that
sixteenth day as a second century warlord iām preparing to leave to i donāt know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where iām going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me heās truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horsesā tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why
these are better pictures, guys.
bronze age mediterranean dashboard simulator
āļøseal-with-a-kiss Follow
i'm opening commissions for hand-carved cylinder seals!!! i only accept payment measured with lydian weights (sorry i've been scammed by sumerian weights before š) send me a tablet if ur interested!
ā±ļøcuteneiform Follow š
was it really necessary to bring up to bring up the scamming š sumerians already get such a bad rap
šŖ¢gordion-knotted Followš
maybe ea-nasir shouldn't have scammed her then. did you think of that?
#sumerians think just because they invented writing that they're enki's favorites #but theyre not anyone else's favorite
132 notes
š¤horny-of-consecration Follow
call me crescent the way i'm so fertile
19.7k notes
š¦egyptian-blue Follow
top 5 ideas for a megaron that will impress your rivals:
???
???
???
???
have a better megaron than them
582 notes
š“tyred-of-this-shit Follow
who do you think is attacking the coastal towers?
dorians
trojans
etruscans
mycenaeans
philistines
š¦tuscan-raider Follow š
the etruscans wouldnt do this š¤š¤¬ this poll is so fucked up
#and also the trojans just lost everything to the greeks they dont have the resources to attack right now #my gold is on the dorians
š®acolyte-of-cassandra Follow š
your url is literally "tuscan-raider"......
š¦tuscan-raider Follow š
that doesnt mean anything
7,337 notes
šøbabble-on Follow
has anyone heard from wilusa lately?
#you guys used to love wilusa
āļøand-my-bow-drill Follow š
girl there's a war
#???? achilles is there and everything
1,002 notes
šŖea-nasir Follow
i'm tired of the king always butting into my affairs. we need a free and open marketplace with less regulation
šhammurabi Follow š
aren't you the copper scammer??
#i dont think you can be trusted with a free and open market
897 notes
āļøi-need-atention Follow
hot sun god summer š š
#all my followers better reblog this or ur not gonna be allowed on the sun barge
4.2k notes
šŗbrewer-of-lahun Follow
a frothy beer in a ceramic cup and some dates and tying a net with the boys. can't get any better than this.
#might even go to faiyum later
27 notes
š”ļøtraditional-spartan-values Follow
ok but no one actually believes that paris and helen are in love, right? menelaus is a much better husband than paris could ever be
š¹odysseus-polutropos Follow š
menelaus we need you on the battlefield.. get off the slab
#we are under fucking attack
266 notes
š¼tower-guard Follow
sea peoples? yea i see people every day. on my shoreline.
13,658 notes
š©¼tutankhamun-not-tutankhaten Follow
i hate my fucking parents
#theyre ruining this kingdom #can't wait until i'm pharaoh #we're gonna go back to the way things used to be
3 notes
āsyrian-merchant Follow
got a big shipment of luxury goods setting sail today i hope the seas are in my favor!!!
#especially because so many ships have sunk on the route we're taking
šPosted 1325 BCE
š“troy-story Follow š
can we get an update on this shipment??
#i dont think the seas were in his favor
š Posted 1319 BCE
59 notes
š¦mistress-of-the-beasts Follow
come here little eunuch boy i can be so normal
14.9k notes
šļøminoan-priestess Follow
uhhh the temple snake bit me. what do we think this means?
šļøminoan-priestess Follow š
i have just been informed that akrotiri has been destroyed
#i knew it wasn't a good sign....
641 notes
these are better pictures, guys.
i mean i wrote that post about a real life woman whose actual fingers i want forced in my mouth but it's great that you saw your beatles rpf bleed through the contours of my desire man. all of us are facets on the infinite gem of god's earth. personally i can't see ringo domming
Iām a busy man. Got two caution signs to remind me to slow down sometimes. Got a vibrating megaphone. Clocks. Radiation. Four goats. Got half a tank of simple columnar epithelial tissue. 60% through my day. Half a tank of gas. And itās only 10:50.
gonna post my entire stickman reaction pic collection
4chan memorial post. rest in hell
[video description: a slideshow of eminem photos with his voice rapping the text of the āfirst day as a second century warlordā post, linked below]
sixteenth day as a second century warlord iām preparing to leave to i donāt know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my lo
You are not like the unabomber. I don't think you've ever bombed anything. In fact, you're on tumblr.com making posts. The Unabomber would not have done that.
first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horsesā tails to stir up dust and make it look like thereās a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isnāt any dust and the enemy can clearly see thereās like twenty of us all spread out in a line
second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isnāt misdirected at all
third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldnāt decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below
fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy heās fighting have really similar names and itās finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now weāre stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?
fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and iām pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lordās wife and leaves
sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city heās taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it
seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out heās actually a pretty cool guy, and he isnāt even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but iām really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him
eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord iām worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night
ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that iāve suggested it heās really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him
tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lordās city i realize i wonāt be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lordās head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lordās camp he already would have. that doesnāt change the fact that my men are still trapped. theyāre prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk
eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lordās room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. donāt ask what i was doing in my loser liege lordās room. itās not important
twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leaderās second-in-command. ITāS THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORDāS WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says āwouldnāt you like to knowā and leaves. i donāt know what to say to that so i just let him go
thirteenth day as a second century warlord iām honestly so sick of not knowing whatās going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the womenās area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lordās wife is. i ask her what sheās doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leaderās formationās weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poemās significance. she shares the first couplet with me but iām discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesnāt need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, itās the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme
fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesnāt trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if thatās really true, because i canāt bear to live if i canāt protect him and i canāt protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader
fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and theyād like to stay with him if i donāt mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i donāt tell them that
sixteenth day as a second century warlord iām preparing to leave to i donāt know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where iām going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me heās truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horsesā tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why