"Magic" she said

Hey, this is a multi fandom mess so if you can navigate it - Enjoy

[taskmastersource]

KUMAIL: Okay, can you give us five points again so I can have a more TV friendly reaction? GREG: No! I want everyone to see how mean spirited you are.

[whyactlikeahuman]

[quasikool]

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

[achillesvevo-deactivated2020090]

[yamitamiko]

me, holding a pizza box and shouting: SUE!

customer walks up

me: sue?

customer opens the box, frowns, and sticks her finger in the pizza: i didn’t order pepperoni

me, with a voice devoid of any emotion: ……. sue?

customer: oh! no i’m (name)!

the actual sue, materializing at my elbow: is that a pizza for sue?

me: would you like some free breadsticks to eat while we remake you pizza? another customer touched it

‘another customer’ sheepishly mumbles sorry

sue, who has clearly worked with the public: you take as long as you need to, honey

[tinyhipsterboy]

me, shouting at the top of my lungs: ICED VENTI VANILLA LATTE FOR JENNIFER

male customer standing right in front of me turns to look

me: jennifer? iced vanilla latte?

customer says nothing, takes the drink, shoves straw in, takes a long sip

customer: i wanted this hot. i ordered a small hot decaf skinny vanilla latte.

me: are you jennifer?

customer: no, i’m daniel

[pg-chan]

Some people wonder why people fight wars, but I have no trouble imagining reasons for people to just haul off on each other. 

[maswartz]

People like this should have to pay full price for the order they ruined.

[the-haiku-bot]

People like this should

have to pay full price for the

order they ruined.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[thenatsdorf]

Box + Cat.

[spikespeaches]

happy out for a walk bitch day to those who celebrate

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

a person from 150 years ago would be terrified by modern stuff . however , a duck from 150 years ago would just be all like ,still got lakes? yes ? okay cool

[elodieunderglass]

“How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.”

― Dorothy L. Sayers, Gaudy Night (1935)

[chatdomestique]

Reblogging again because I thought they changed the quote so I decided to look up the actual quote and it’s not fake that is very much the actual quote

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

[rninor-blog]

“bend over” “bend what? over”

[striderofthen0rth]

I hate this place

[boccher]

why is the combined ace aro flag different colours to the ace and aro flags

[boccher]

my square #mysquare

[emnesoi0]

[dailyflicks]

EVER AFTER (1998) dir. Andy Tennant

[castielstiel]

[contagiousgrace]

Me talking to someone's dad

[draconym]

Me: Fuck, the paper towels I want are on the top shelf.

The Sir David Attenborough That Lives In My Brain: Being smaller-than-average presents an added challenge to foraging ... but necessity is the mother of invention. A little creativity turns a baguette into a tool, and voilà--

(paper towel roll falls on my face)

Sir David Attenborough, pleasantly: Success.

[herotox5]

[professsorlayton]

look at this shit. look. at. this. shit. it has fifteen thousand notes. what does it mean? why does a picture of the pin k panther with a to do lis that makes NO SENSE have fiFTEEN FUCKING NOTES. WHY. my mom could make better posts that this shit. what even. fuck tumblr.

[godguy0001]

looks like someone doesnt know what to do. to do. to do, to do, to do, to do, to dooooooooooooo, dodododododo

[thevulturesquadron]

text: [ “Some of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing an essay, writing a eulogy, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing for 5000 years.” ]

[kosmogrl]

[sarahmgellar]

PRIDE (2014) dir. Matthew Warchus

[nonaferatu]

This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:

If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.

This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace

[nonaferatu]

everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.