New & Improved @an-entire-mess - Tumblr Blog

dankmemeuniversity

shitpeoplesayinsplatoon

ricky-croissant

wormgiver

repotting

the “holding out as married” rule is so fucked up

like… not only can I not marry the love of my life without losing my health insurance and the $800 or so a month I’m forced to survive on

but I can’t even CALL her “my wife” casually

like literally the US gov’t has people whose job it is to go and interview the family, friends, & neighbors of disabled people to just make sure that they never refer to anyone in their life as “my wife” or “my husband” etc

and if you DO, then SNAP! You’re defrauding the US gov’t of the pittance you can barely survive on and you are no longer entitled to your disability benefits

(some kinds of benefits might remain in diminished form but if you were disabled before age 22 you are fucked COMPLETELY and can’t get them back even if you divorce… the only loophole is if the other person was ALSO deemed disabled before 22, because that fucking makes sense)

and this is just… legal and no one but disabled activists ever talks about this shit

so yeah I’d love some of that gay marriage shit but I will never be able to get married, and to add insult to injury, I can’t even casually refer to my partner as “my wife” without risking the health insurance and income I need to survive as a disabled lesbian

kelpforestdwellers

this is what we mean when we say the USA does NOT have marriage equality yet

tragikempyre-deactivated2013040

ethiopienne

they won’t even admit the knife is there.

alwaysbewoke

The essence of the “color blind” movement right here.

anti-capitalistlesbianwitch

“If you stick a knife in my back nine inches and pull it out six inches, that’s not progress. The progress is healing the wound that the blow made. They won’t even admit the knife is there.” - Malcolm X

mikkeneko

I think about this a lot

noping-out-deactivated20241117

This whole obsession with wheelchair users struggling on foot down the aisle at their wedding or across the stage for graduation is 100% powered by ableism.

noping-out-deactivated20241117

“The heartwarming story of how one woman worked for 8 months straight so she could escape the horror that is being in wheelchair for a few short minutes to struggle slowly and painfully down the aisle on her special day.”

feraladoration

“the horror that is being in a wheelchair” bitch it’s hella better than struggling slowly & painfully down the aisle ffs

noping-out-deactivated20241117

“Despite being permanently paralyzed, her one goal since her accident has been to walk across the stage for graduation. The whole crowd gave her a standing ovation and broke into tears when she dragged her paralyzed legs across the stage with the help of leg braces and a walker to collect her diploma, after which she immediately sat back down in her wheelchair, which she will use to move around for the rest of her life.”

How the hell is this an inspirational story? This person needs better goals. And a therapist.

smoldragonborn

They’re toxic in an even greater way because as a disabled person, I didn’t realise till I was reading this how much I had internalised that. I genuinely have had feelings of fear and shame about using a chair or a walker if I get married. And why? Because I’m constantly seeing “heartwarming” stories about disabled people who shed their mobility aids for that moment. Why the hell am I afraid of using them to get married? Anyone who marries me or attends the wedding will know I need them and love me regardless.

Bless this post for making me realise I’d internalised that shit.

crittizen

These types of stories teach people, both abled and disabled, that using mobility aids, especially wheelchairs, is inferior.

margomoment

here are some beautiful brides in chairs with dresses they ROCK. I know a lot of disabled ppl with internalized ableism think they “won’t look good” if they use their chair, but here’s some literally gorgeous gals for ur consideration

(that last ones cute as fuck and i teared up at it)

noping-out-deactivated20241117

Who needs a bouquet when you can be a bouquet?

smoldragonborn

I made my addition to this post in June 2019. Its now January 2020 and I no longer feel guilty about the idea of going down the aisle one day with mobility aids.

God bless the disabled community, y'all saved me from some internalised bullshit

thegayemu

This post floated by a few months ago, and I remember something to effect of there’s a difference between recovery and refusal. That is, like, I have a friend that suffered an incomplete spinal cord injury. He can walk again now, and I don’t think I’ve seen him use his chair in a few years. When he walked at his graduation, it was to show off his recovery. That he wasn’t quite ready to go through a full day upright, but he could walk across a stage, unassisted, and soon he would be able to do that every day. There’s also a difference in someone like me choosing to not use a mobility aid. My mobility is intensely fluid, especially seasonally. So, I would plan a summer wedding. And while I love my cane it can also be the biggest pain in my ass, so I’d want to just go unassisted. But that’s normal for me, at least right now. I can walk without an aid during about half of the year. It’s reasonable to assume I can make it through one day without it. All of that is different than someone that is fully and permanently paralyzed, that will never walk again, dragging themselves along because they feel that’s somehow better. Overall though, my biggest takeaway is fuck the media. Because disabled people should be able to make whatever decision they want without the media turning it into this grand inspirational story.

noping-out-deactivated20241117

Disabled people should be able to make whatever decision they want without the media turning it into this grand inspirational story.

THIS.