You can find me on Ao3 as anadiangelo, on Twitter and Instagram as @anadiangelometa and on bluesky as anadiangelo-meta 21+, Engineer, science lover, horse person. Main obsessions are One Piece and DC, with a side of too many fandoms to count
When the red double-decker bus taking the Montreal Victoire from the Verdun Auditorium turned on Ste-Catherine street, Victoire goaltender Ann-Renée Desbiens was at the front of the bus, eager to see what awaited them. What she saw, down the famous street no stranger to parades celebrating professional hockey teams, was a sea of people. So many that in her own words, she couldn’t even see pavement.
That’s when the 32-year-old goaltender, known for her calm, stoic, unflappable, and composed demeanour on the ice that makes her one of the best goaltenders in the world, reached for her sunglasses.
Not because of the sun that fittingly shined down on the Walter Cup champions and their fans on a perfect Spring day in the city, but because what she saw brought her to tears.
“Cheers to the victor!” Hazy said, and they clicked glasses (or can, in Shane’s case). Ilya made a show of daintily sipping at his martini as he slid in close against Shane in the booth. “So, who wins the competition this time? Shane for the goal and assist or Ilya for helping net the game winning goal?”
Shane and Ilya exchanged a glance and Shane shrugged. “I’m willing to be magnanimous.”
Ilya had no idea what the fuck that meant, though he could guess. “Ohh, big word Hollander.” Ilya said. “Trying to pretend you went to college?”
“Fuck off, asshole.” Shane said, with some of his usual heat. “It means like, generous. I’ll let you take the win on this one.”
“You’ll let me? How kind of you.” Under the table, Ilya nudged his foot against Shane’s. He nudged back.
“You guys serious about that whole truce thing?” Hazy asked skeptically. “I’ll miss seeing what dumb thing you decide to compete about next. Though can I ask,” Hazy leaned forward over the table and said in sotto voce, “What’s the thing with the loons?”
“Don’t ask.” Shane and Ilya said in unison, then grinned at each other.
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
ANIMALS:
catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear
piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave
pluto-lichen: horses
misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like
pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially
SEX:
dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.
dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”
SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:
thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad
shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze
sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon
alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices
dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.
the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes
typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy
draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices
11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note
fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is
emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣
NON-FOOD STUFF:
red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.
bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket
nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English
sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp
danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author
meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does
vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'
leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake
fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?
dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic
msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate
shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September
baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird
twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)
waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up
violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours
purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.
For those of you with android devices, you can use the Android Debug Bridge (ADB) standalone app control program to get rid of all the bloatware, data mining, and AI crap - no coding needed!
There are also Android-based alternatives like GrapheneOS and LineageOS, which are pretty easy to install. These are unfortunately available for a more limited range of devices (Graphene is ironically Pixel only, while Lineage supports more), but it's very worth checking out whether one of them might work for your phone.
GrapheneOS is a security and privacy focused mobile OS with Android app compatibility.
LineageOS Android Distribution
Typing this from Graphene now, in fact. But, both of those take the Android Open Source Project, without all the bloatware--and largely de-Google the whole thing. They give you much more control over privacy and what the apps you choose to install can do and access on your phone.
I know Graphene sandboxes everything, including the optionally installed Google Play Services which a lot of apps unfortunately require to run. (Lineage uses an alternative to Play Services instead.) So, you can install what would normally be unacceptably intrusive apps and just lock them away from pulling any funny shit with your data, or phoning home. Including the couple of Google things I do still keep around.
I also prefer running much more transparent, privacy-respecting open source apps where possible. Besides the transparency, I'd rather avoid the shitty tech corps entirely where I can. There are pretty good alternatives available for a lot of the usual suspects.
AlternativeTo lets you find apps and software for Windows, Mac, Linux, iPhone, iPad, Android, Android Tablets, Web Apps, Online, Windows Tab
An alternative app store:
F-Droid is an installable catalogue of FOSS (Free and Open Source Software) applications for the Android platform. The client makes it easy
First Chapter out now of my "What if Ilya and Shane did summer training together?" AU. Starts immediately after The Cottage. Set in show canon for the most part and later follows events in TLG influenced by this change in trajectory.
This story will involve: Shane gaining more friends against his will, Ilya thirst posting about Shane "for the fans," examinations on how Shane's autism and orthorexia influence on their relationship, Ilya's #OttawaGirl, and more!
Summary:
“You should train together in the off-season.”
Ilya lifted his head off Svetlana’s lap. “What?”
“If your Canadian really wants to marry you someday, you might as well get used to spending your summers together,” she said, smooth and practical as ever. “You need to fix your public relationship from rivals to friends, and being publicly seen together will help. You need a new trainer anyway, now that you aren’t going to Russia.”
-
Or: Svetlana knows who Jane is. And it changes everything because she is smarter than both of these idiots.
I have a sense that a lot of Heated Rivalry fans, especially those new to hockey, are Americans and thus not familiar with the concept of "tall poppy syndrome" and how it might impact the HR characters.
Tall poppy syndrome is the concept that in certain cultures it is better to be among the crowd instead of standing out. Standing out can open you up to criticism and attempts to cut you down to the level of the rest.
This is not a concept which thrives in America; we are the country of American Exceptionalism, and many Americans believe if you just work hard enough you too can be a famous celebrity and be adored and placed on a pedestal above the rest. However, Canada IS a country where tall poppy syndrome thrives (interesting to note that articles about it actually focus on the way it disproportionately affects women, but I digress).
As Canada's national sport, hockey is very influenced by this mentality. Standing out is Bad and Frowned Upon. You make the blandest, most boring statements possible so there isn't anything interesting for the media to fixate on and criticize you for. Celebrate a goal in a way that is seen as too flashy? You will be cut down. Be too much of a "distraction" by existing as a non-white person in an insanely white league? Cut down.
I distinctly remember seeing this video of a commentator talking about PK Subban, a Black player, and how he should be more like this boring ass white guy and the commentator did a Freudian slip and said the other guy was doing things the "white way" instead of "right way."
Knowing this, it makes a lot of since that Ilya is the one drafted to Boston and Shane to Montreal. In Montreal, Ilya surely would have been told he was too much, should tone things down, that he was drawing the wrong kind of attention. While still inside that hockey culture, Ilya's brash and over-the-top personality is much more appreciated by an American fan base than a Canadian one. He surely was still criticized for his behavior, but likely with more of a sense of 'there goes Rozanov again.'
Shane is absolutely in bad place when it comes to TPS. He's a generational talent AND a minority. He's playing in a crazy hockey-obsessed market in Canada. He's also secretly gay. Shane has tried so, so very hard to be that perfect player that blends in but does the job well. He can't be showy. He can't be seen as cocky. Because he was already in a vulnerable spot. But I don't believe there was ever anything he could do to really 'fix' himself in a way that would truly please people.
I don't know if I have a grand conclusion to this, but I think this context definitely helps understand these characters and what kind of media and cultural environment they are in and up against.
For anyone wondering: it's called Hyalinobatrachium dianae, and Kermit Frog is one of its actual recognised names (alongside Diane's bare-hearted glass frog)
This however isn't a recent discovery as it was first found back in 2015
no, i will not stop reccing you gay hockey fanfictions
object lessons by meriwethersays (E | 1956 | Shane/Ilya)
The other new guys laugh awkwardly when Levesque says, “On y va, fif! Go, get the funniest dildo you can find and get back here” outside Boutique Érotique. Shane is dizzy from all the wine they drank at dinner—he doesn’t drink, but this is his team now—and he stumbles in with the rest of them, trying to keep his eyes—well, anywhere, because everywhere he looks there are curves and bulges and he keeps thinking, absurdly, of Ilya Rozanov across from him in the hotel gym floor, of the curve of his lips as he said Sorry and the shape of his cock between his legs.
hate me there by martiansands (M | 4241 | Shane/Ilya)
Even before he played his first NHL game, Ilya expected his career would involve bearing the brunt of some dislike. Hockey was entertainment, a spectacle; somebody had to play the heel. He didn’t mind that. He didn’t expect people to dislike Hollander.
All Alone In Our Own Universe by songstress (E | 27456 | Shane/Ilya)
When Shane Hollander wakes up in a world that never invented hockey, the only other person who remembers is Ilya Rozanov.
(Set in August 2012 – a year and a half after their last hookup, during the flirtatious-texts montage.)
always starving, never full by coffeeincallcaps (E | 4168 | Shane/Ilya)
The steady, persistent pressure of Rozanov’s thick cock sinking into him is unlike anything Shane has ever felt before. He feels impossibly full, impossibly exposed, but more than that, he feels good.
Fuck, it’s good.
It’s so good that he forgets to feel awkward as he begins to rock back into Rozanov’s thrusts. He forgets to feel ashamed as Rozanov draws sounds out of him he didn’t even know he was capable of making. As Rozanov drives him out of his mind and deep into his own body, holds him there, forces him to feel everything and think nothing at all—
Shane forgets to feel anything but good.
(In which Shane has a dirty fantasy, and Ilya runs with it.)
//
“Ah,” Ilya says softly, brushing a finger along the column of Shane’s throat. “Is that what you want, Hollander? To be humiliated?”
“Yes,” Shane says, the word a guttural moan. “No? I don’t know. Maybe. Fuck.”
“To be put to good use? To be told what to do?”
“Yes,” Shane gasps, relieved to be asked a simpler question. “That’s what I want.”
meteorite by allapologies [E | 7613 | Cliff/Shane, Shane/Ilya(/Cliff)]
Hollander knew how to arch his back just so. He had dimples above his ass. Cliff began to wonder if Shane Hollander was a bit of a slut. Wasn’t that a fucking thought?
//
A clown car pileup of events leads Cliff Marlow to Shane Hollander's doorstep at 10pm on a Thursday in Montreal.
pull like a dog by segs (E | 6858 | Shane/Ilya)
Statement from Boston Raiders General Manager Rick Doughty:
We are aware of a video circulating online from earlier this summer of the locker room celebration proceeding Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final. This was a personal recording of an adrenaline-fueled moment inside our private facilities and was not intended to be seen by the public.
shorthanded by deadmemewalking (E | 4491 | Shane/Ilya)
Like two images superimposed, Ilya sees the Hollander from that public bathroom in Vegas: different suit, dorkier haircut, same glassy-eyed stare. He’s in both places at once, facing down the same beautiful wealth of opportunity.
Ilya’s blood sings. It’s so clear, suddenly, how to get exactly what he wants. How to exorcize this horrible post-game worthlessness.
fix up, look sharp by distira (E | 4483 | Shane/Ilya)
In 2025, the NHL dropped the mandatory suit and tie on game day as a part of the league’s new collective bargaining agreement. Let’s imagine this happened in the MLH about ten years earlier, and that Shane Hollander fucking hated it.
Blood for the Blood God by agatestones (not rated | 4388 | Shane-centric)
[Clippings from the New Yorker] This seems a little unkind to you but maybe I mean a little unkind to hockey? Because it also makes you sound like a superhero. Love you -- Dad
when you leave here by Idday (M | 8094 | Shane/Ilya)
“It just feels like such a nothing story," Shane says. "But my mom’s so fucking... worked up about it.”
Ilya watches him. “I think,” he says carefully, “that your mom is also the parent of a teenage boy who played on that hockey team. And not just the manager of a person who is being asked for comment on a bad story. Yes?”
...
(Shane was fifteen years old when he moved to Sarnia.)
baby take me don't hesitate by leiascully (E | 4889 | Shane/Ilya)
Shane has a request.
Car Talk by tuesdaycoming (E | 8477 | Shane/Ilya)
"Eyes are on the road, Hollander. I am being good, yes?" Shane swallows. Without music, Ilya must be able to hear the spit gathered in his mouth. "Are you?"
Shane is watching him so closely. He would know if Ilya glanced his way, even for a second, and it pulls low in his stomach to know for sure that he absolutely isn't being looked at. Shane is just that obvious.
"Is that the game we're playing?"
Ilya licks his lips, eyes flicking up to check the mirror, not Shane, but it's something. "That's always the game we're playing, Shane, but right now, you are losing." Yes. Probably.
-------
During a stolen weekend in Boston, Ilya gets Shane to come with him on a drive outside the city. Shane learns to appreciate the Porsche.
keep thinking about how much ilya loves his father like. he is so tender with him. in sochi when he reminds his father they'll go meet the minister, where presumably he'll be blamed for losing all over again. the summer of giving him meds and then taking the pill bottles away. the note in his voice when he tells alexei he got a text asking for him to bring home bread.
i just read your little ficlet speed limit and it is actually very funny how easy it would be for them to just buy or rent a random house in some small town half way point. like not even as a fuck condo they could spend several days a week together when they don’t have games! and even driving an hour to the stadium for a game is hardly anything! ilya’s house in boston is probably an hour outside of the city lol. so much of the tlg conflict could be fixed by a very small purchase by two very rich people !!
scream TO BE FAIR. i haven't read the long game but i imagine the problems are more than just geographical? such as:
82-game schedule is horrific, their road trips aren't always gonna line up, they DON'T actually have a ton of time together and it sucks!!! they spent so long clawing out time for each other and it feels like things should have changed now they've figured things out but they're still fighting for scant hours out of weeks
ilya moved away from his social support system & in ottawa he can't fucking talk to his teammates without lying to them. so why'd you come to ottawa, roz? you doing anything tonight, my wife and i would love to have you for dinner. like shane was always a part of ilya but in ottawa he's almost all of it, so ilya (a hugely social animal) has to stay unknowable!!!
the hockey is the sex but now it's bad hockey? obviously shane doesn't only love ilya when he's winning cups, but this is such an interesting stress to put on a relationship which was built on competing with the only other person who can keep up with you (who can understand you!!!). does ilya think he's still lovable when he's not able to succeed? does shane feel guilty for putting ilya into this position? presumably they are not having frank & honest conversations about this because they are, unfortunately, hockey players
but also the sex is the sex. wait can i say something. if ilya loves being in control during sex because it contrasts so starkly with how he doesn't have control outside of sex then the sex has to be SPECTACULARLY intense while ottawa keeps losing games. sorry i just imagined it and blacked out.
IN CONCLUSION i don't think a halfway house would solve all their problems but they should still have one because ilya needs some place to edge shane for six hours until he cries. (he doesn't get to come before they both need to leave for their respective roadies & the last thing ilya says before he kisses shane goodbye is "don't touch yourself on the trip.")
at the 2010 prospect cup when grigori is telling ilya that he has to beat him, he has to win over hollander, and then you're able to recontextualize their first meeting a year earlier as ilya seeing someone who was only an enemy & realizing he's a boy, the same as him, and winning which had previously been a duty becomes something fun
oxford was built and operational as a college before the rise of the mayans and cleopatra lived in a time nearer to pizza hut’s invention than to the pyramids being built
I need a noncomprehensive history book that covers Known World History in time periods, like “in this century, all this shit was happening concurrently” and not just all spread out so I have to piece it together like some unpaid uneducated scholar
I grew up with this book, which is frickin’ enormous, and it was endlessly fascinating to young me to pour over the side by side comparison of events taking place concurrently under different headings and in different parts of the world.
Or if you want something you can put on your wall, there’s this:
I will confess to having a fuckton of fun in my story I’m working on where superpowers started showing up in people roughly around the time of the US Civil War b/c THEN I get to try not to fuck up other nations’ histories too badly when referencing random events that superpowers affected in their history. So that visualization is going to be a BIG help
Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. @anadiangelo - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
