i actually need a phone less than i think
what detoxing with a blackberry taught me about smartphone dependence
tldr; we don't need an app to do everything for us, we already have the ability to do everything we need
about a month ago, i received a refurbished blackberry classic q20 in the mail. for quite a while prior, i had been weaning myself off of social media and deleting unnecessary apps off my phone, keeping only apps that couldn't be replaced with a notebook (calendar, reminders), another device (alarm, camera, music), or be accessed via computer website (instagram, memrise, email). it wasn't working as well as i wanted though. i still found myself redownloading and deleting social media apps just to check messages and then would end up scrolling for longer than i intended to, or just picking it up constantly to check apps that weren't there anymore and then just staring at the home screen waiting for notifications. it was ridiculous, really, how often i picked up my phone completely unprompted without having any reason behind checking it. the action was so ingrained in me. bored? open phone. waiting in line? open phone. on the subway? open phone. just woke up? open phone.
so i bought a blackberry about it. in researching different "dumb" phones and feature phones, the blackberry appealed to me the most because of the qwerty keyboard, and the fact that the blackberry servers are down, so there is literally no functional app store on it. i spent a lot of time and effort trying to set up the phone and make it work. i realized i'd have to start it up in a very specific way to bypass the blackberry id setup which no longer works because the blackberry servers don't exist anymore. then i had to spend hours finding and sideloading .apk files that were compatible with both its android runtime of 4.3 and the square screen aspect ratio in order to download essential apps like maps, messaging, email, etc. i sideloaded magic earth, google maps , kiwi browser, signal, telegram, whatsapp, yahoo weather, and set up email forwarding to the blackberry hub. out of all of these, none of the apps that required up to date security worked, which meant no signal or telegram. google maps worked for live location but not for transit directions, and magic earth worked for transit direction but not live location. the browser worked for simple google searches but most websites got too confused by the square aspect ratio and loaded with all the text and images stacked on top of each other. and all of these apps only worked when i was connected to wifi. that was fine, i reasoned with myself. after all, a big motivation behind switching to a dumbphone was that i wanted to relearn how to live with inconvenience and rely on myself rather than a device again. when i thought about it, i realized i really don't need to have cell signal when i'm underground in the subway, and if i was trying to use my phone less, the software restrictions would only help me to stick to it. so i gave it a good committed shot. i changed my phone carrier and ordered a new sim that would hopefully work with it, and it worked only partially. i had taken "4g phone" at face value, and not realized that the blackberry classic is in fact a 3g phone that is only capable of using 4g for mobile data. in practicality, this meant i was only able to text via sms or mms, but not make calls, because 3g is shut down in the usa. additionally, i couldn't access my group texts because of the lack of rcs capability, and i had to rely on my laptop for signal and whatsapp. this was all still fine because i don't really need those apps in my pocket 24/7, and with most apps in general, i'm more than okay with waiting until i get home to check them.
all this being said, it would have been impossible to make this switch without some important changes in the ways i rely on my phone. i got an ipod for my music, a paper calendar, a notebook for reminders and shopping lists, started carrying my wallet everywhere instead of relying on nfc payments, and got into the habit of looking up directions to new places the day before and noting them down, so i wouldn't be lost without 24/7 access to public transit directions.
it definitely was not an easy or convenient experience, but i loved using a blackberry so much. i loved the tactile typing experience, i loved the weight of it in my hand, i loved how small and easy to use one-handedly it was compared to the huge glass slabs all smartphones are built like now, i loved the square screen that worked for everything i needed and nothing i didn't need, i loved the camera that didn't do any of the iphone photo processing that makes images super fine and grainy. mostly though, i loved how it made everything quieter. while not being able to receive calls or use a million messaging apps was not ideal for communicating with friends who live abroad or extended family, having only one way to be reachable while i was outside meant that if my phone did buzz, i knew it was an actual message that was worth my attention and response, and not a random app notification, not a trigger to scroll somewhere, not a spam email, not a reminder, or an alert. it allowed me to compartmentalize communication. i could only check emails when i got home and decided to open my laptop, and not being able to receive group texts meant i ended up talking to people one on one more often, rather than my usual habit of spamming group chats with screenshots and emojis. my mind felt clear enough to give thoughtful replies to people because i wasn't overwhelmed with a thousand apps, and only had one messaging platform to pay attention to.
there were some aspects of it that were annoying, such as having to be connected to wifi to see maps directions, hence not being able to use my phone to guide my while i was outside. it took me more time to get places because i had to relearn how to rely on street signs and my common sense to navigate while walking places, and dealing with transit delays and changes that meant my route might be different from what i looked up at home the night before was also a new challenge. but overall, apart from giving me a momentary sense of panic, it didn't actually make my life harder. i still got places successfully, i still was able to communicate when i needed, and if my phone died, i was still able to pay for things, listen to my music, check my calendar, check my to do list, and get home.
it was scary to have a phone that i couldn't rely on for everything, but also freeing to realize how little i actually need a phone for. when it came down to it, i could still do everything i needed to in life except call and text without a phone, and the things i do need an app for are not as essential to my life as i thought. something about the form factor of the blackberry is also less addicting and attention demanding than a smartphone. initially, i would find myself habitually picking it up and checking it despite knowing there was literally no app to check, but two weeks later, i find that i no longer crave social media, i no longer feel drawn to check for notifications, i no longer have the desire to scroll. i recently tested this by reactivating my instagram account, and apart from checking my messages, i didn't end up scrolling the feed or watching reels, which is miles apart from how i used to get sucked in to social media.
the blackberry ended up being only a two week long experiment to rewire my brain and reset my relationship to and dependence upon phones, and the reason i switched back to a smartphone is because i do need a device that can actually make calls. the blackberry being a little too dumb of a phone was incredibly helpful in snapping myself out of smartphone dependence, but it's just not something that can work for me long-term. which i feel sad about! i miss the physical keyboard, and there is a part of me that liked the attention and curiosity i got whenever i pulled my blackberry out of my bag. i'm still keeping it around to use as a detox phone if i start to feel myself getting pulled back into the phone addiction. something i didn't expect though, is how uncomfortable it feels to use my huge glass slab after getting used to a tiny square screen with a physical keyboard. i've come to resent how i need to use both hands to use my phone, i find myself making more typos, i get irritated by the latest ios liquid glass design that somehow doesn't add any useful features to the os and instead just makes the software design uglier. all these things that once made it so easy to get sucked into my phone, the giant screen, the design animations, the bright colors, the notification center, all make me want to use my phone less nowadays because of how irritating i find them now. my screen time used to average 5-9+ hours a day, and now it's around half an hour a day. my mind feels more clear, my attention span has gone up, i can read for greater lengths of time, i can remember tasks and reminders and shopping lists more easily, my eyes don't feel as strained anymore, i find it easier to socialise in person, and i've picked up my hobbies again.
the blackberry q20 next to my iphone 12 case for scale, and magic earth transit directions on it
separate from my own phone usage, detoxing has made me realize just how bad most other people's smartphone dependencies are as well. i have a rule for myself to not use my phone while on the subway, and instead i just listen to music on my ipod or read or people watch or take a nap. on a superficial level, i've gotten really interested in observing people's outfits and bags and shoes, and i think about where they must be coming from or going. on a more important level though, not looking at my screen while on public transit makes me more aware of my surroundings; if someone with a mobility aid comes into the train, i actually notice and can stand up to give my seat if i'm sitting, and the amount of times i've stood to give up my seat recently has made me wonder how many times i've been too sucked into my screen to notice when someone needs to sit more than me, and it also makes me very aware of how almost no one else on the train looks up at each other anymore. looking at others on the subway or when i'm in line or walking down the street makes me feel like i've opened my eyes to a dystopia of some sort because everyone is on their phones all the time, and everyone relies on their phones for everything.
and then there's the need for convenience. when it comes to boycotting or discontinuing use of certain social media platforms, delivery apps, or ecommerce apps because of ethical concerns or sketchy investment ties, people hang on to them because they seem to think these things are necessary. and most of the reasons people continue to use these apps are not tied to an actual material need for them, rather a desire for convenience. people have been getting invited to houseparties and events before the app dedicated to this was created, but now that it exists, the convenience of having rsvps in one place overshadows the fact that it is still perfectly possible and very easy to invite people to an event without it. i don't lose the ability to share photos without social media, i can still invite my friends over to show them my photo album, and gain a more memorable experience out of it, or text people directly if they don't live near me, but we've gotten so used to depending upon photo sharing apps for so much more than just sharing photos, that it's now so difficult to conceive of living without them. it's still very easy and convenient to walk or drive to a restaurant to order take out, or just sit there and eat it by yourself, but it's more convenient still to use the food delivery app. it's perfectly possible to buy random items for cheap at a dollar store or for regular price at regular local stores but the convenience rather than the actual necessity keeps people attached to all the fast ecommerce apps and websites.
we don't need an app to do everything for us, we already have the ability to do everything we need and want and more, and stripping myself of the ability to utilise these conveniences, if only for a short while has opened my eyes to how truly unnecessary these apps are, and i feel so much more confident of my ability to rely on myself to get around and do things for myself and be aware of my surroundings because of it.
