[cornleyquotesgoeswrong]

Cornley Incorrect Quotes №¹²²

Robert: There are four categories of people you will meet: Underlings, superiors, rivals, and love interests. One of my underlings has been attempting to convince me of the existence of a fifth category, "friend", which appears to have no purpose. I suspect it is a ploy to get out of performing her duties.

[fnordseer5]

our idiotic ancestors used to believe stuff that's not true but luckily we've now figured out all the true things to believe in

[microwavablegf]

"i love my bf" this "i love my gf" that. i love the people and the people love me???? so much that they restored the english monarchy??? im part scottish french italian a little bit dane but one hundred percent party animal??? champagne????

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[snackboyz]

this is the attitude you need to have in life

[the-zephyr-zone]

Stateside Scramble (ep4) Sketches!

[tooies]

mad scientist ethics board that makes sure that a project is sufficiently unethical before providing funding

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

sometimes you get a normal scientist trying to apply with a regular invention that just has a puppy shredder attached to it with hot glue or sticky tape

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

you’d think they’d be disqualified for that, but trying to cheat the system to get research funding actually adds a lot of unethical points

[prophecyofgray]

drunk ben in paducah kentucky is fucking kiiilling meeeeeee "we are coastal elites and that suuuucks of us that- to not think paducah kentucky would be cool"

[oatsteak]

Amy’s reply to are you married (would it help?) is my attitude to dating lol

[oatsteak]

The more I watch jet lag the more I love Amy she’s so silly

[makyulka]

The getting to know my boss bit being directly followed up by "are you married?" is the definition of absolute cinema.

[thats-how-the-jets-lag]

listening to the layover and the implication that you need to implement tactical decision making to learn anything about sam's personal life is sending me

[shetheyslain]

Trying to sleep during a heatwave is a great reminder that all oil executives need to die painful painful deaths

[cheezyarts]

jet lag is basically gen z top gear, change my mind

[tiredadventurer]

[tiredadventurer]

[apatheticfluorescence]

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

[headspace-hotel]

Shakespeare is like this

[insufferablepirate]

Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away

Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal