hey, I'm using your lasan conlang for a fic I'm writing and I was wondering if there were any pre-exsisting languages you use as an inspiration or where you get your ideas from
Hello, hello! Always exciting to hear.
Well, there's no one specific thing I draw from for Lasana. I suppose you could say it's just the reflection of me as a language geek. I've been a Tolkien nut since I was a kid, so it was probably inevitable I would one day try to con a lang of my own. So the Middle Earth languages are the first part of the mix.
The only languages I've formally studied are Spanish, French, and Latin (plus a smattering of practical Greek from my wife's family), so a lot of my understanding of structure is rooted in the Romance family.
As for what I geek out about and just really love hearing/looking at in a language, it's gotta be things like Japanese and Hawai'ian. I love the almost flowing motion of the vowels and the, shall we say, undeceptive nature of the spelling. I would have to say a bit of that has worked its way into Lasana.
I didn't really set out to create a language. I sort of just started cobbling things together as I had need of them. And now, here we are some 6 years later. Hwow. I don't have as much time as I used to to work on things (currently mothering twins), but I have been working on another Lasana project on and off since they were born. I've been gradually working on translating the script of A New Hope into Lasana. I feel like once we hit that point, we can safely say that Lasana is a properly functioning language.
Also, if you ever find you have need of something that doesn't yet appear in the lexicon, let me know. I'll see if I can find it for you in my labyrinth of notes.
So I was doing a rewatch of Ducktales recently, enjoying watching my toddlers point to the Duck family and exclaim, "Duckie!", and whilst watching 'The Split Sword of Swanstantine', a few things started to occur to me.
Like, if things like Istanbird and Swanstantine exist in the Duck universe, does it not stand to reason that this Istanbird may have once been called...Swanstantinople? Hmmmmm?
Now, I have neither the skill, nor the software, nor even really the time to try and create an actual recording or video of this idea, so all you're gonna get from me is the lyrics; but I hope the notion brings just as much joy to the history nerds in the house as it did to me.
So without further ado, my fellow DT fans, I give you...some stupid fun.
Istanbird was Swanstantinople
Now it’s Istanbird, not Swanstantinople
Been a long time gone, Swanstantinople
Now it’s Turkish delight on a moonlit night
Every bird in Swanstantinople
Lives in Istanbird, not Swanstantinople
So if you’ve a date in Swanstantinople
They’ll be waiting in Istanbird
Even old New Yolk was once New Hamsterdam
Why they changed it I can’t say
People just liked it better that way
So take me back to Swanstantinople
No, you can’t go back to Swanstantinople
Been a long time gone, Swanstantinople
Why did Swanstantinople get the works?
That’s nobody’s business but the Turks
Istanbird, Istanbird
Istanbird, Istanbird
Even old New Yolk was once New Hamsterdam
Why they changed it I can’t say
People just liked it better that way
Istanbird was Swanstantinople
Now it’s Istanbird, not Swanstantinople
Been a long time gone, oh Swanstantinople
Why did Swanstantinople get the works?
That’s nobody’s business but the Turks
So take me back to Swanstantinople
No, you can’t go back to Swanstantinople
Been a long time gone, Swanstantinople
Why did Swanstantinople get the works?
That’s nobody’s business but the Turks
~*~
Aaaand there's my geeking quota for the month. Not that it was greatly difficult to parody the lyrics in this case, though I do feel like I Could've come up with something better than New Yolk and New Hamsterdam. If anybody else does come up with something better, do feel free to hit me up about it.
And, of course, if you have no idea what I'm talking about with any of this but have still somehow made it this far, you should probably just do yourself a favor and go check out the original song. Have fun!
Hi friend! Big fan of your AO3 work. Congratulations on adding to your family, I hope you are all well. Would it be ok if I used some of the Lasana language you created in a fic I'm working on? Wishing you the best, Vel
Hello! Thank you kindly, and yes, we are all doing well, if halfway to exhausted most of the time. But that's twin life, yo. Eheh.
But yes, you are absolutely free to use Lasana in your work. All I really did was create it for love of Kalluzeb, and what better could I do than to let it blossom into the rest of our wonderful little fandom?
Our dear Mudkip has been kind enough to set up an online lexicon for the language, as I would be absolutely abysmal at maintaining something like that. They managed to create something coherent out of my rat's nest of notes. The lexicon isn't complete at the moment. I haven't really had time to port any of my latest notes into the collection since the twins were born. But if there's anything you need that isn't there, just ask me, and I'll see if it exists somewhere in my notes. And if not, we can see about growing the language a little bit further.
Wow, sorry to leave everyone hanging for...what is it, a month now? But, oh, what a month it has been.
So...how many of you remember that my wife and I were expecting twins? Show of hands. Anybody? Hehe, yes, well, they decided to come about a month early. And we’ve spent that month trying to relearn how to...well...everything. So yes, a baby boy and a baby girl. Our very own Jedi knight and rebel princess.
I’m hoping to get back to my regular posting schedule before too long here, but I hope you all will understand if I’m not totally on point just yet, eheh. It is kind of a lot. I just figured I ought to let everyone know why I’d gone radio silent for a bit there. :D
Hey, so id like to suggest something I don't think I've ever seen before(kalluzeb fandom listen up):
So, you know how people still like the nickname "Sasha" for Kallus even though we know his canon name? What if Sasha is actually a word in Lasagna? It'd mean something along the lines of "love" or "heart", but it would essentially function the same way the pet name "sugar" does; as a term of endearment.
So when Zeb calls Kallus "Sasha", he's usually meaning it to mean "my love". Kallus only picks up on this because Zeb says the word with a Lasana accent, the same way he says Karabast.
Oh, yes. I can actually speak to this one. It's a rather amusing story because it happened by accident.
When I create words in Lasana, I consider what I need in context of words with similar forms and meanings that I've already come up with. In this case, I wanted something similar to the word for 'life', which is 'zash'. But when I initially came up with the word, it was in plural form, so it just existed in my notes as 'sashi' and I didn't think anything of it at the time.
But then someone asked for the word for 'heart' and I went looking through my labyrinthine notes and found this little word and I looked up from the word doc all excited and was all 'Guys, I think the singular form of this word would actually have to be 'sasha'.' And it was such an exciting moment because it had happened completely independent of all the fun HCs surrounding its use as a nickname.
The stars aligned for us Kalluzeb folk that day. :D I'm not sure where the flower story came from. I don't *think* that was mine. Could just as easily be someone else's addendum to the lore, but that's the beauty of collaboration, isn't it.
Not sure how many of you are still following me to see Terrify the Dark finished, but that’s finally gonna happen. Y’know, like a year and a half after the fact, eheh.
I come bearing a little teaser for the new chapter. The full chapter won’t be coming until next week, though it is available right now on my Patreon. It’s something of a recap of events from the last chapter, just from Drake Dark Warrior Duck’s perspective instead of Gosalyn’s. Aaaanyway, hope you enjoy!
~*~
Drake couldn't explain how the probability spell worked. It seemed it was different each time it came online. First it had been like a trail he'd followed. Next it had been like a puzzle of faulty recordings playing in his brain. Now?
Now it was like a super magnet drawing him in, pulling him inexorably toward an exact pair of windows on the side of McDuck Manor. And on approach in the Thunderquack, there was only one possible plan of attack.
"Crash it," he said to Della.
"I- you mean-"
"Third floor, fourth window from the left," he told her, reaching out to grip her arm while keeping his gaze fixed on the spot. "Crash. It."
"Yus! Now we're talking!" Lena cheered.
"You all might be certifiably insane," Kath mumbled faintly.
"Won't disagree with you," Indy said, though there was resolve in his voice, apparently prepared to trust Drake's instincts on this one.
"Drake, are you sure?" the pilot pressed him, to which he nodded.
"Make Launchpad proud."
"Well...I'dbelyingifIsaidIhadn'tthoughtaboutit," she bit out as she snapped her flight goggles into place. "All right people, strap yourselves in. This is my kinda crazy! LET'S GET DANGEROUUUUS!!" she roared as she threw the Thunderquack on a collision course. Drake braced himself only a little before they went crashing straight into the house.
The windshield, thankfully, remained intact, though it was covered with debris.
"Anyone hurt?" he called out as he undid his restraints. Della was already shaking herself off, though still caught up in her own restraints.
"Hoo, that was awesome!" she cheered. "Oh, god, Uncle Scrooge is gonna kill me."
"Nope."
"It appears not."
"Shaken. Very shaken. But I'll recover."
"Then let's get a move on," he said, heading toward the exit hatch. When it didn't open, he could only assume it was blocked somehow. Something was happening outside. He could hear it, but he couldn't pinpoint anything more accurate.
"Come. On. Stupid. Hatch. Open!" he snarled as he shoved his shoulder against it.
LP, you know I adore this plane, but if it stops me from saving our little girl, I'm going to dismantle it screw by screw.
But...why would the Thunderquack stop you from rescuing Gosalyn?
"No! Nonononono! Don't answer! You can't answer!" he shouted in horrified frustration, his vision suddenly redshifting again.
"Drake-" someone attempted to speak to him, and he could no longer tell if it was Della, Indy, Lena, or Kath.
Giving one last harrowing cry of effort, Darkwing threw himself against the hatch, the unnatural burst of strength finally allowing him to shove it free. The sight his shifted eyes picked out through the haze of smoke and debris was Negaduck advancing on his daughter.
Time to give this madman a taste of his own medicine.
"I am the terror that hunts in the night," he declared, prepared to do things a hundred times worse than the simple nuisances his usual words promised. "I am the honey badger that rips out your throat. I...am Darkwing Duck!"
Unfortunately, his enemy didn't seem to recognize his peril, because he looked entirely too excited by what he saw in him.
"Oh, yeah," the ex-actor all but moaned as he eyed him up and down. "Now that's a Darkwing Duck I can get behind. Hehe, take that however you want."
And that he was definitely not going to stand for. Whipping out the gas gun, he fired its grappling hook at his enemy, more than a little pleased when he saw the hook sink into him. That pleasure was only compounded when he began to retract the cable, forcing a sharp cry of pain from Negaduck as he dragged him over the rubble.
"I told you I wouldn't let you have Gosalyn," he said, something cold and harsh deep inside him beginning to crawl out. "I warned you."
"So do something about it," his enemy spat at him, the look in his eyes as egregiously unhinged as ever, despite his obvious pain.
He was just going to have to push that pain threshold past the breaking point.
"Well...if you insist."
With that, Darkwing Duck let all the hurt and sorrow and rage that was inside him out. The bitter, black hate that scalded his veins and squeezed at his heart found release through his fists as he proceeded to pound his adversary without mercy. Every blow he dealt only served to send him further into that blind rage.
This is what I feel. This is what you did to me. If I can return even a fraction of this pain, whatever happens to me will be worth it!
No! No, it won't! that unrelenting voice at the back of his mind cried out, desperate. Nothing's worth this, DW! Especially not me. I don't want you to be like him...because of me. I can't accept that.
Darkwing felt something inside of him crack at the sound of the achingly earnest and familiar voice. God, Launchpad's voice was so entrenched in his mind he could even conjure the exact words his partner would say.
Drake...please. Please...don't do this.
Drake? Heh, Drake isn't here anymore. He died...on the docks that night. He tried to save his partner, who walked through fire for him...but he wasn't strong enough to do the same. Drake's gone!
Drake...
But he had meant what he'd said, and with every blow he struck to his enemy, Darkwing Duck let Drake slip further and further away. It soothed the agony in his fragile soul, but it didn't seem to have much of an effect on Negaduck himself. The assault only seemed to push the villain further over his own edge, drawing maddened, maniacal laughter from his broken beak.
"Let's see if you can laugh when your brain's crushed into paste against this wall!" he snarled, ramming the older duck's head against the wall as hard as he could, holding nothing back. And despite his obvious injuries, Negaduck did manage yet another chuckle.
"Going to kill me, duckie?" he mocked him, clearly inviting him to do just that. "I don't think you can."
"I said I would kill you and I meant it!" he growled, fingers tightening around Negaduck's throat, threatening to strangle him. "You will never hurt anyone again. Not on my watch."
It was the reason he gave, but even he knew it wasn't true. Whether it was the hero's way or not, all he wanted now was vengeance. He was going to make his former hero pay for every drop of Launchpad's blood, no matter what it cost him in the end.
"STOP!"
The sound of his daughter's desperate cry froze the falling hero where he stood. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, but he couldn't help but to hear her.
"Don't do this," she sobbed quietly, her plea echoing the impassioned words from his own heart. "This isn't you. You're not a murderer."
"You are. You are," Negaduck hissed in his face, goading him, practically begging for the killing blow. It took everything he had not to land it.
"Gos...Gosalyn," he started heavily as he turned his eyes to her. It was so hard...just to speak..."he's-"
"I know," she interrupted him, tears flowing steadily down her face, though she somehow kept her voice level. "I know who he is. I know what he's done. I know he's the reason Launchpad's not here anymore. And I know you can beat him...but...then you'll get hurt. You won't be the same anymore...and I couldn't- take that," she told him as she wiped the tears from her face. But then her words stopped making sense. "So I'm going with him."
That...no. He really must have lost it, because he couldn't have heard what he'd heard. There was no way- Gosalyn would never say anything like that. Because she knew that if Negaduck got his hands on her...
Other things were happening around him, but he couldn't bring himself to focus on them. All he could do was stand there, his enemy choking to death in his grip while he tried to understand just what it was his daughter had said.
"Gos..."
"This isn't gonna happen, Dad. I'm not gonna let you go down like this."
Still not fully understanding what was happening, he was suddenly forced into comprehension when a large pair of arms wrapped around him, pulling him away from Negaduck.
"No. Wh- what are you doing?!" he shouted, beginning to struggle.
Oh, god, it was Launchpad all over again! He was going to be made to stand by and do nothing while his life was stripped away before his eyes.
"No! Let me go! Let me go!" he shrieked, fighting his hardest, but nothing he did could force those arms to loose their hold. "GOSALYN!"
There was nothing he could do. Nothing but watch as his perfectly calm and composed daughter disappeared in a blaze of white.
The scream that tore from his throat once Gosalyn was gone was wordless. It was a sound beyond anguish, beyond anger, or even sanity, and many of the others would later tell him how it had frightened them, but he didn't know any of that in that moment.
All he knew was that Gosalyn was gone.
"BRING HER BACK!!" he screamed at Negaduck, screamed until his throat was raw. "YOU BRING HER BACK RIGHT NOW!"
But his nemesis just sneered at him as he pocketed his device, every inch the duck with the upper hand, in spite of the fact that he was clearly struggling to stand.
"I told you, duckling," he said as he began to back away from them, toward the hole that Darkwing and Della had just carved through the side of the mansion. "I told you I would take everything from you. Is it my fault everything decided to make it easier?"
"Malicious miscreant," Scrooge snarled, brandishing his cane like a sword. "What have ye done with the wee lass?"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, you'll find out soon enough," Negaduck scolded as he continued to back away. "Just know that if anything happens to me on my way out, you'll never see her or any of the other brats alive again."
The billionaire's expression went hard on hearing the mad duck's threat, though his eyes were filled with dread. "The boys...Webby..."
"That's right. Try anything and they die here and now."
"Negaduck," Officer Cabrera warned, clearly considering challenging the threat as her hand hovered near the gun at her hip.
"No, no, no, Officer. Really think you're ready to gamble with the lives of Scrooge McDuck's family? Any of you?!" he called out to the group at large, to Penumbra and Gyro, who had hands on their weapons, to Manny and the twins, who all looked ready to commit violent murder. But every last one of them stood down when faced with the threat to the youngest members of the clan.
And at the last, Negaduck looked to the group crawling from the wreckage of the Thunderquack, a pair of familiar eyes locking onto his for the first time in what had to have been years.
"Kath?" he called out in wicked amusement. "Oh, Kath, Kath, Kath. Don't tell me they dragged you into this, too. Well...what do you think of your Dark now, Morgie baby?"
"Jim..." the actress uttered in shock. "What...what happened to you?"
"Happened? Little movie star there happened," the villain mocked while Darkwing continued trying to escape the iron grip that was still holding him fast. "Ah, well. You'll get used to the idea," he said.
"I WILL FIND YOU!!" Darkwing shrieked at him, never having once ceased his struggles to get free, despite his lack of success. This drew nothing more from the ex-actor than his typical knowing sneer.
"Oh, I hope so," he said, keeping his eyes on Darkwing as he continued his backwards retreat. "We'll see who you really are when we come face to face again."
Then he was gone, vanished through the twisted tangle of wreckage that had once been a wall.
Darkwing continued to struggle, his cries now broken and stilted.
"Drake," a familiar voice started, "please stop."
"He took her!" he cried out, caught somewhere between anger, sorrow, and hopelessness. "He took- my little girl!"
"I know," the voice's owner attempted to calm him, reaching out a soothing hand to touch his face. "I understand."
"Understand?" he bit out, his voice breaking. "How could you? You...will never understand."
"Me? I don't understand? Are you serious, Drake Mallard-McQuack? If anybody understands...the pain of losing a child...I do. At least you'll have the chance to get yours back."
Then he felt a pair of hands reach around the back of his head, beginning to untie the mask.
"No. No! You can't- I still need that!" he protested, struggling all the harder. Even so, it wasn't long before the simple length of cloth was slipping free, normalizing his vision, and he was able to understand why that voice was so familiar.
Birdie McQuack. Despite her own loss, she was looking at him with perfect compassion and understanding.
"Birdie," he whispered, hardly able to meet that warm, painful gaze. "I lost him. I lost Launchpad. I'm- so sorry."
"It's all right," she told him, lifting her hand once again to cup his cheek in her palm. "You're all right."
"No. No, it's not. I told you...I promised you...I promised he would always come first, but I couldn't-...I failed him. I failed them both!" he hissed in anguish, tears he didn't know he still had beginning to squeeze from his eyes without his permission. And damn him, but he couldn't stop himself leaning into the comfort she offered.
"It wasn't your fault," she said, so certain. "I could never have asked you to make that promise...but you made it anyway. Made an impossible promise to an exhausted mother. Heh, Launchpad would've been upset with us both if he'd known. But...my boy only did what he always does. Give everything he had to give for the sake of what he loved most of all. None of us could've changed that about him."
But I...I'm not worth that kind of sacrifice, he wanted to argue, to scream, but he couldn't make his mouth work. When Ripcord finally released his hold on him, all he could manage to do was collapse into Birdie's waiting embrace, and he couldn't help but to let her cradle him in her arms...this woman he had no right at all to ask for comfort from.
Sometimes writing is like working through a paint-by-numbers image in your mind, with everything obvious and neatly laid out for you to fill in the gaps. And fucking sometimes it's like excavating a catacomb in the dark with no idea what you're about to shove your trowel into.
Mm, yes, and then when that trowel strikes a cursed tomb freeing untold horrors from their millennia of imprisonment and you can barely comprehend what you've unleashed upon the world...
...this, too, is a writer mood.
Yeah, that’s not a sentence I thought I’d ever be writing, but life’s funny that way sometimes.
A little outside of my regular fandom wheelhouse, but I thought I’d share a lil snippet on the off chance it’s anyone’s cup of tea. This is basically an alternative spin on the conception of Anubis within the framework of the Osiris Myth. Only warning I think I might need to include is that there are references to non-con.
Full story’s up over on AO3, but here’s a little taste.
~*~
Nephthys was weeping when she came to them.
It was this, more than anything, that told Isis how bad things had gotten. Her little sister always seemed to carry an air of sadness about her these days, but she would never let on just how deeply she felt that sadness. Nephthys was the gentle one, the kind sister who was always ready with a warm embrace and a willingness to help. Her own pain never seemed to matter. What could she do to help you?
But now, as she came into them out of the cold night air of the desert, her fine clothing was streaked with mud and sand and tears flowed freely down her lovely face, her body wracked with her silent sobs of anguish.
"Oh! Oh, my dear sister," Isis cried out in alarm as Nephthys collapsed into her arms, her shoulders trembling with her efforts to contain her sorrow. "Husband, help!"
Osiris was at her side in an instant, gathering their youngest sibling in his arms and cradling her tenderly against his chest. It was then that Isis saw the blood that had dripped down her legs and onto the stone steps.
"Dear heart," her husband started, his voice gentle if worried as he pressed a chaste kiss to the top of her head, "what happened? What did he do to you?"
There was little point in pretending otherwise, after all. They both knew who had done this to her.
Seth. Their younger brother. Nephthys' husband...who should have protected and cherished this dearest of their siblings. Who should have loved her as they loved each other.
But it seemed that Seth could no longer feel love. It had been long since he had. That he could raise a hand to dear, sweet Nephthys...
...it was unthinkable.
At her older brother's words, a strangled cry escaped the young goddess' throat, her body trembling violently with the fresh wave of tears. Her fingers dug into Osiris' fine robes, clinging to him as if he were the last solid thing in all the world.
"No...n-no!" she sobbed, half-choking on her own words. "It- it's not...his fault. It's me! It m-must be! Oh, Ma'at! Oh, my love! My poor love!"
Osiris' expression was stormy as he carried their little sister into the palace. Isis followed without question, grateful that none of the servants remained awake to see their pharaoh in such a turbulent mood. Her husband was a kind man, of a gentle and compassionate nature, but to see such harm visited on their precious baby sister tested even his limits.
Her husband carried Nephthys back to their own private chamber, laying her down on their bed before stepping back, allowing Isis in to do her own work.
"Dear one...will you let me see?" she asked, waiting for her sister's tiny nod before beginning to lift her once white skirt, revealing the claw marks that now marred her once smooth thighs and the...less than tender treatment of her womanhood. Isis had little doubt there would be worse to be seen if Nephthys were to remove the rest of her clothing.
"That beast," she heard Osiris snarling behind her. "He will be punished for this."
"NO!" Nephthys cried out, beginning to struggle, trying to fight her way up off the bed. "Osiris, you c-can't! He didn't- do anything wrong!"
"Hush, hush, dear heart," Isis soothed her, petting her hair and coaxing her to lie back down. All the while, she silently scolded her husband, keep your peace, my love. You'll only upset her more.
How can I help it? he asked her without voice, his anger threaded through with heartbreak. That he thinks he can just do this...do as he pleases with her...treat her so shamefully...and expect there to be no consequences for it. I will not endure this from him.
Not even for her sake? she reminded him. She needs calm from us right now, beloved, not anger.
Having succeeded in calming both of her siblings, Isis went about tending to Nephthys, rubbing salves over her wounds and easing a potion between her lips to help her relax. She wove the ancient spells of healing over the grievous injuries left by their brother, carefully knitting the skin back together and smoothing away the marks of his passage. With the power she commanded, Isis could easily wipe away the physical signs of what Seth had done. She could erase the injuries to Nephthys' body as if they had never been.
But the injury to her spirit...that was something not even Isis' wondrous magic could heal.
Once she had restored their beloved sister to her full health, Nephthys simply lay on the bed, no longer weeping, but drained in spirit. Isis sat beside her, gently stroking her hair and singing softly to her. After a time, Osiris knelt beside the bed, his gaze tender but firm as he reached out a hand to lay it over hers.
"Nephthys...sweet little sister...I need you to be honest with me. Did he take you against your will?"
Nephthys gave a shuddering sigh as she turned her face away from them. "You...cannot rape the willing, brother. And I am always willing for him...my husband...my Seth..."
Osiris echoed her sigh, gripping her hand a little tighter as his gaze dropped to the floor.
"If any other woman in all of Egypt came before me with such clear evidence of her husband's mistreatment, I would throw the man to the crocodiles myself. But you are my sister...and he is my brother. We stand as equals. If you will not stand to accuse him of his wrongdoings...will not leave him for the utter wretch he has become...there is little I can do."
Nephthys shook her head, still looking away from them. "No. I would not ask you to. I- I know the fault is mine. I shouldn't have pressed him."
"Pressed him for what?" Isis asked. "What desire of yours could have merited this for a response?"
"It has been- so long...since he touched me...since he even looked at me. If he does not...make love to me...I will bear him no child. I...made the mistake of reminding him of it."
Isis shared a look with Osiris at this. Their sister's deepest desire. A child. A child for her husband. Seth himself was not childless. Neith's Sobek was proof enough of that, but he had never gotten a child on Nephthys. Isis wasn't even certain how many times Seth had even bothered to try. Likely, the number could be counted on a single hand. But Sobek had been conceived a long time ago, back before they had all settled. With the anger and bitterness that now filled Seth's heart...
"Truly, Nephthys, I'm not even certain if Seth can father a child right now," she admitted to her sister. "His heart has become a stone in his chest."
"Is this my fate, then?" their little sister whispered, the words almost seeming to strangle her as she curled into a tight ball. "To be alone forever? To never know the joy of my child smiling up at me?"
She made no sound as she wept anew, but they could both see the tiny tremble of her shoulders as fresh tears began to fall.
There must be something we can do for her, Isis pleaded silently with her husband.
If she will not leave him, I do not see what. That is her choice alone.
No. I know. We can do nothing about Seth, but...we could help her...to be a mother.
Osiris' eyes widened as he looked up at her, taking her meaning quite plainly.
Are...are you certain, my love? It wouldn't bother you?
Why should it? she returned with a kind smile. Were you bothered by Re or by Horus?
Her husband shook his head, his expression shifting into a helpless sort of smile. Of course not. They were unions that enriched you and brought you joy. I could never be bothered by that which makes you happy.
Granting our sister's dearest wish would bring me joy beyond measure, my sweet.
For a moment, Osiris' smile grew darker, saddened. This is your wish? Even if it means...that you and I must wait longer?
Even so, she reassured him, leaning over to lay a kiss of blessing on his forehead. I have known the joy of motherhood, after all. Nephthys has not tasted it yet. With any luck, Taweret will smile upon our sweet sister and she will grow great with your child. If we can do nothing else, at least we can grant her this one joy.
Together? he asked, reaching for her free hand with his own.
Yes. Together always. If she so wills it, let us make love to her as one, and we can grant her at least one night of happiness.
"Nephthys?" Osiris began after a time, coaxing her to look back at them. "Unless it be by your will, I can do nothing about Seth. And though I do not believe this will improve your relationship with him, if a child is what you desire...that is a wish I can grant."
Gasping quietly, Nephthys blinked in amazement as she sat up on their bed. "You...you mean..."
"Yes," he said, drawing her hand to his lips and pressing a slightly less chaste kiss to her delicate knuckles. "If you wish it, Isis and I will lie with you. This bed will become yours for this night, and perhaps the seed you long for will finally have a chance to grow."
"I...both of you?" she asked them, her cheeks flushing just a little as the corners of her mouth turned up in a tiny, hopeful smile.
"Yes, little love," Isis said, lifting her hand to cup her sister's cheek, drawing her in for a kiss. The younger goddess' lips trembled against hers, but they were soft and warm. "Let us give you the love and adoration you deserve, even if only for one night. I would see your belly swell with my husband's child."
"But...what about you, Isis?" Nephthys pressed, a sudden twinge of sorrow flickering in her eyes. "You would sacrifice your own chance to bear Osiris' child...just for me?" For she knew just as well as they did that the nature of Osiris' virility was cyclical, ebbing and flowing with the currents of the Nile. They had been waiting for their best chance, and if her brother granted this to her now, it could well be another full year before Isis might bear the heir Osiris deserved.
"I have waited this long. What is a season or two more?" she said with a loving smile, kissing Nephthys' lips once more. "Besides, even if they are not the children of my beloved, I have felt the quickening of new lives within my body. I want that for you, my sister, and if Seth will not give it to you, then we must."
They had all four of them lain with Re upon coming into the first bloom of their powers as gods, but only Isis had borne him children, the twins Hathor and Bastet. She had been barely more than a child herself back then, but she had come into the fullness of her womanhood in the sun god's arms, and the two beautiful girls reflected the wonder of what had been awakened within her that night.
And Horus...the eldest of their brothers had always been different from all of them, born to their parents a long time before they four had been. Though it had always been his right, he had never stepped into the line of kings, desiring instead to know the deeper meanings of the universe and her glorious magics. Often it seemed to Isis that Horus was of a deeper wisdom than all of their forebears, even Re himself. And like the sun god, she had been drawn to him for but one night. In her own studies of magic and ancient knowledge, she had lost herself with him in that glorious vastness of the infinite, and she'd come away with his sons in her womb.
She had looked forward to feeling the same flush of new life from her precious husband's seed, had waited patiently for the right moment, but now that the time had come, she understood that it was not for herself that she had been waiting, but for her sister. This was Nephthys' time, and she would gladly step aside for her. If only they could convince her...
"I...Seth will surely be angry," she argued half-heartedly. "He would see it as a betrayal."
"He does not own you," Osiris insisted, visibly struggling to keep his voice from going too sharp. "Your love and loyalty are gifts to be given at your will, not possessions of his. It is your right to bear a child to whoever you deem worthy. But if it eases your spirit, consider this. We will both have been with you this night. You have already taken his seed to yourself. Simply take mine as well. And if the child you want should come of this, you need never know for certain. Please...dear sister...let us do this for you."
Isis could see the moment the decision was made, could see the change in the tears flowing from her eyes. They were not tears of sorrow, but tears of joy. She nodded, slow at first, but then more vigorously.
"Yes. Yes, Osiris, my Isis. I want this. Please- make love to me. Give me a child."
Nodding, Osiris smiled, drawing Nephthys into a kiss as he moved to sit on the bed with them. While they kissed, easing into the sudden flare of joy and desire the night promised, Isis stood, moving so that her siblings both had a clear view when they looked up at her.
Smiling for her lovers, she slowly began to remove her dress, slipping the straps down before sliding the fabric over her breasts, revealing them to Nephthys' hungry gaze with a pleased little sigh.
~*~
And of course the rest is a little too spicy for tumblr’s taste, but is up in full over on AO3. Happy reading!
Well, it’ll be another week before it’s here, but I thought you all might want a little sample of the last chapter of But I Remember What it Feels Like Beside You. We’ve made it through Order 66, but what does this new timeline have in store for Rex and Ahsoka?
~*~
They emerged from hyperspace over a tortured world that was completely unlike the sanctuary of their bond. Descending through the barely breathable Mustafarian atmosphere, they found themselves arriving at a refining facility of sorts.
"There," she pointed out when she caught sight of the former queen's signature Nubian starship. Rex quickly dropped them down on the platform, though there was precious little room for the tiny craft.
"Be careful," Rex warned as she popped open the gunner's canopy. "We have no idea what we'll find out there."
She didn't see anyone on first glance as she emerged from the bomber, moving out further onto the platform. But when she looked to the facility, she began to see two familiar figures emerging from the steam and smoke within.
R2 and Obi-Wan.
"Obi-Wan!" she cried out, beginning to run, suddenly overcome with emotion at the unexpected sight of a familiar face.
The Jedi Master's head jerked up at the sound of her voice. When he saw her, a look of amazed disbelief, wonder, and relief moved across his face.
"Ahsoka?" she saw him whisper as he also began to run.
She didn't stop to question it as they barreled toward each other. She simply crashed into him as he caught her in his arms. Obi-Wan Kenobi had never hugged anyone, so far as she knew, and now here he was, holding her tightly as he wept.
Against all odds, the long night of Order 66 had given at least one back.
"I thought you were dead," the older Jedi cried quietly.
"Same, Master. Same," was all she could manage to mumble before looking back up at him.
"How did you escape?" he asked her as he took a step back, bringing his hands up to her shoulders. But before she could begin to explain, a look of panic flashed in his eyes and he started to go for his lightsaber.
Sensing Rex's own flicker of panic, she realized what was happening and placed herself solidly in the Jedi's path.
"Don't! Don't," she said, holding her hands up to placate him. "Rex is all right."
"But they-"
"It wasn't their fault," she started to explain, realizing that he didn't know, couldn't know. "They were programmed. They were each implanted with an inhibitor chip that forced them to obey the order."
"What?" Obi-Wan asked in shock, gaze darting between her and Rex.
"Like we were no more than a factory full of clankers," Rex ground out bitterly, his pain and grief calling out to her as she fell back to stand beside him, taking his hand in hers. "Any choice we had was taken away from us."
For a long moment, Obi-Wan gazed at their clasped hands, understanding growing in his eyes. Then R2 rolled forward, bumping against their hands with a sad little whistle, leading both of them to reach out and place their free hands on his dome.
"It's good to see you, too, R2."
"Why didn't I see it?" Obi-Wan asked, more of himself than of either of them. "Maybe- if I'd been able to look into Cody's eyes when he-"
"Wait. Cody! Is he all right?" Rex demanded, his grip on her hand tightening.
Looking stricken, Obi-Wan nodded faintly. "So far as I know, yes. I didn't- we didn't fight. He just shot me down...off a cliff."
"Then...did you come here to help Anakin?" Ahsoka asked, and at the mention of Anakin's name, Obi-Wan looked freshly stricken. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, taking several shuddering breaths before answering.
"I...Ahsoka...Anakin- has gone beyond any of our power to help him."
"What do you mean?" she pressed, a terrible knot of dread beginning to form inside her.
"He was part of this purge. He marched on the Temple with the 501st and slaughtered everyone inside...even the younglings."
Her own horror on hearing this paled in comparison to the horror she felt emanating from Rex at learning what his own legion had been made to do...what he could have so easily been part of. And even though she didn't want to believe it, her heart knew it to be true.
"Because he pledged himself to Sidious," she said, and she now understood the why that Maul hadn't been able to provide. The only possible reason why Anakin would do this.
For Padme.
"Then you know?"
"We contacted Padme. She told us what happened, thought we might be able to help."
"I don't believe any of us could have done that. He was too far gone."
"Was?" she made herself ask.
Rather than answer, Obi-Wan swallowed heavily, glancing back in the direction he'd come.
Without thought, she broke away from Rex, starting to run toward the facility.
"Wait-"
"Ahsoka!" Obi-Wan called sharply after her. If it had been in anger, she might've ignored him, but the tone of his voice held only sadness. When she turned back to them, Rex ready to rush after her and Obi-Wan just standing there staring at her, she could only describe the look in his eyes as broken. "You can't help Anakin now."
She was ready to argue, ready to insist that nobody was beyond help, but then the static in her mind vanished...revealing the horror that had lain beyond it.
She didn't know what caused the fog gripping her to shake loose. Perhaps it was proximity to her old master. Whatever the case, what she had only caught glimpses of during the journey here, she could now see in painful, graphic clarity.
Anakin Skywalker had burned.
Desperation had allowed him to be deceived by a lie, to stumble blindly down a path there was no coming back from. Now he was lost. Everything that had been her friend and mentor had been consumed by rage and hatred, and she could feel that hate scoring her heart as she collapsed to her knees.
"Anakin..."
She didn't know when exactly Rex had come to her. All she knew was that he was there, his arms around her, cradling her against his chest. He said nothing, simply held her while her world fell apart one last time, his spirit offering nothing but love and comfort.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
He had felt what she had felt, she knew. Not to the same degree, but enough to understand.
Their friend...the man they owed for even bringing them together in the first place...was lost to them.
"The man we loved...is gone."
Looking up at the sound of Obi-Wan's voice, Ahsoka saw him standing close by, the grime on his face marred by tear tracks. And it was only then, seeing him silhouetted in the light from the Nubian, that one last thing occurred to her.
"Obi-Wan...where's Padme?"
Before Obi-Wan could respond, though, yet another familiar figure came puttering down the starship's boarding ramp.
"Oh, Master Kenobi. We have Miss Padme onboard," C-3PO said as he approached. "Ah, Miss Ahsoka, and Master Rex. When did you-"
"What happened to Padme?" she interrupted him, glancing between him and Obi-Wan, who sighed and shook his head.
"Perhaps it's better if I explain on the way. I doubt we have much time."
Ahsoka was already climbing to her feet with Rex, ready to follow, when she realized Rex hadn't yet let go of her hand. Throwing a questioning look back at him, she felt him run his thumb over her knuckles before he answered with, "You stay with her. I'll follow."
She almost protested, insisted that she would go with him, that she couldn't leave him, but he shook his head.
"She needs you right now. She's the reason we're here at all...isn't she."
And he was right. That was the truth of it. It had never been Anakin they were coming for. He had already been lost.
It was Padme.
~*~
If you’re so inclined, or if you’d just rather not wait an entire week, the full chapter is available right now on my Patreon. Either way, I’ll see you all for the conclusion of this little tale. :-)
Well, if you haven’t been keeping up with But I Remember What it Feels Like Beside You, Chapter 3 is up over on AO3 now. And for those of you who have already read it, here’s a little sneak peek at what’s in store for you next week.
As per usual, the complete chapter is up on my Patreon right now if that week seems too long a wait. But this snippet I think I’ll place the cut a bit sooner than normal. Wouldn’t want you accidentally spoiling yourselves, after all.
~*~
His voice was cold.
That voice was so harsh and unlike him, it took everything Ahsoka had left not to cry out in pain at the sound of it.
Rex...what have they done to you?
"We may as well not play this game, Tano," he said as he moved slowly into the room, his blasters drawn. "You betrayed the Republic. Now you'll pay the price. Did you really think I wouldn't know where you'd go?"
Couldn't listen. He wasn't in his right mind. It did neither of them any good to try and fathom the programming of this chip. As Rex moved further into the room, she began to slip silently in the opposite direction, toward the door. Never mind that he'd been smart enough to jam it on his way in. Could she focus on the locking mechanism enough with the Force to unseal it?
No. It would take too much focus, focus she just didn't have in the present moment. She had to distract him.
Rex, she called out to him through the Force, through their bond, I think I know what's happening.
"Stay out of my head, Jedi!" he snapped, swinging his blasters wildly about the space in search of a target.
It hurt...to hear him decry her as an enemy...to hear the words so lately thrown at Maul now fired at her. Even though she knew this wasn't really him...still it hurt.
I saw your report on Fives. It isn't your fault! she continued to press through both his pain and hers. You were programmed. Your mind was altered to do this when you were very young.
"Stop hiding from me!" he snarled, but then a hand traveled to his head as he briefly doubled over in pain. Through the wall of static, she caught flashes of the memories that assaulted him.
...the feel of her in his arms...the rightness of it...
...the soft strength of her lips against his...
...the heady pant of her voice in his ears as she cried out in pleasure...
"No...no..." he both growled and whimpered, and for the life of her, she couldn't tell which version of him this was.
"I can help you," she said aloud, drawn in by his agony.
"I don't need your help!" he shouted, crying out as he fired wildly in the direction of her voice. When he doubled over yet again, shaking his head in desperation, she rolled quickly to the other side of the bay, ducking behind a control panel. "I don't want to hear your LIES!"
You know me, Rex, she said to him through the Force, battling her desire to go to him, to inadvertently draw out that programming. You said it yourself. You knew what I would do. And you must know that I would never hurt you. I would rather die than hurt you.
"Rather die. Rather die," he repeated, muttering like a desperate mantra. "No! You're a liar! You betrayed us!"
You know that's not true. You know it! You are more than this order. I know you can fight this!
"Blasted- come out!"
He fired again, but this time with intent, and his tactic worked. Ahsoka felt the warning from the Force to deflect the shot, forcing her out of hiding. Her lightsaber ignited just in time to send the bolt of superheated plasma clear of the door controls. Working around destroyed controls was time they didn't have. Not now that blaster fire would have registered on the ship's systems.
But now Rex and Ahsoka stood facing each other once more, blasters drawn and lightsabers ignited.
"So this is what it all comes down to," Rex ground out. "Which of us is faster?"
"We both know the answer to that question," she said, noticing his hands without looking away from his helmeted face. They were beginning to shake again. He was fighting. Some part of him was fighting what was happening. "But it doesn't matter...because I am not going to hurt you. Not ever."
Having said so, she deactivated both of her lightsabers and tossed them to the floor between them.
Still shaking, Rex doubled down in aiming at her, but he still didn't fire. "If you think-"
"Maul said he saw me raise my weapons to you, and I told him it was impossible. Too much has happened today that should have been impossible. So I am not going to let him be right. No matter what you might do...ner Rex, ner cyare...I am never going to raise my lightsabers to you again."
He was shaking, muttering to himself. She couldn't make out the words at first, but they soon started to come clear.
He was crying. She could hear it in his voice, hear the hitching of his breathing between words. Then, suddenly, he threw his head back and screamed ―a sound of such anguish and utter despair she could practically feel it rip out her own heart.
"I would rather die than be a PART OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!"
He was screaming at something beyond himself, beyond her, though she didn't understand what. But then the shaking stopped and his hands fell to his sides as he looked back at her.
"I'd choose your life over mine."
"Rex-"
"I will always protect you. Always. Even if it's from myself."
Then he turned the blaster on himself, jamming the muzzle up beneath his helmet.
Well, the new chapter won’t be up until next Monday, so I thought you all might like a little taste now.
If you’re interested and/or able, the full chapter is available right now on my Patreon. But in the meantime, I hope you enjoy...
~*~
Rex didn't often feel the need to indulge Jesse's 'moods'. Outside of a hot combat zone, his brother had his way of dealing with things and he had his. He didn't often grasp Jesse's sense of humor and so had given up trying. But as the pair of them made their way to the comms center to flag the Council the next morning, it became almost painfully difficult to ignore the other trooper's subtle smirk and sideways glances. Difficult to the point of-
"All right, soldier," he finally snapped in exasperation, "before you ask anything-"
"Oh, I wasn't gonna, Commander," he mocked playfully, offering a dig to Rex's pauldron. "But since you brought it up, answer me one thing."
"No promises," Rex ground out.
"Did you get any sleep last night?"
"Yes, actually. We did," he threw back in triumph.
"We, Commander?" Jesse needled, raising a pointed eyebrow at him as he moved to walk backwards in front of him.
"Kark," he grunted in self-chastisement as he shook his head.
"Speaking freely here, Rex, but Thank. Kark," Jesse groaned with a kind of acerbic relief. "A lot of us were starting to wonder if the pot was just gonna keep growing indefinitely."
"The pot?" Rex pressed as his brother fell back into step with him.
"Oh, yeah. Longest standing betting pool in the seedy underbelly of the 501st. When's Rex gonna lose his-"
"You all were betting on me?" he demanded incredulously.
"Don't look so shocked there, Rex. I wouldn't let it bother you. Besides, I guess the winner's technically Echo...even if he isn't part of the 501st anymore."
"Why? What was his bet?" he asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, suddenly wondering if he even should've rescued his vod from the clutches of the Techno Union.
"Always said it wasn't gonna happen. That that particular piece of hardware was gonna stay shiny unless it was with someone you really loved," he said, suddenly becoming serious as they entered the center. "And you love her."
The only response Rex could manage as they gathered at the projector was a nod. It was the truest thing he'd ever known but, at the same time, it was still so new...so fragile...
"Course, she loves you, too...y'know, if that was something you were worried about."
"Honestly, Jesse, I'll probably just spend the rest of my life waiting for her to wake up and realize she can do better than someone like me," he said, staring vaguely down at the glowing projector ring, not really seeing it.
"Don't sell yourself short there, vod," Jesse said, voice striking a balance somewhere between solemn and silly. "You're always saying how she's the best of the Jedi, well...you're probably the best of us. That's gotta count for something."
"Jesse-"
But before he could get another word in, an image flickered to life beside them. An image of Anakin Skywalker.
In the few moments he had to look at his general before Anakin noticed them, Rex had to say that he looked...exhausted. He had seen the Jedi knight running on little sleep and lack of food, but this was different. The weariness he saw was bone deep...soul deep even. The only thing he could think to compare it to was...the brief glimpses he'd caught of Master Kenobi's face after Duchess Satine's death.
"General?" he started in concern before he could stop himself. But when Anakin looked over to see them, his expression visibly brightened just that little bit.
"Hey, Rex, Jesse. I understand the 501st's oldest pool has been...resolved," he said with a tiny look of amusement.
"Sir, yes, Sir," Jesse said with obvious relish. "Seems the Commander here was kept up quite late."
"Careful there, Jesse. That's my Snips you're talking about," the Jedi warned, his voice only mildly threatening. Then he shifted his eyes more toward Rex. "She sorta grew up without us, didn't she."
"That she did- Sir," he said awkwardly, struggling to keep his expression neutral. Just because their general knew about the situation probably didn't mean he would want to hear about his former apprentice in certain...situations.
"Guess this is the part where I tell you that if you hurt her, you die," he said with a shrug, the same almost haunted weariness flickering back across his face. "Doesn't matter how many battles we've fought."
"Though I wouldn't doubt she's capable of killing me herself if it ever came to that...if it ever did, General...I would let you take my head off and gladly...because I wouldn't deserve to have it at that point," he said, his hands briefly clenching into fists as his gaze dropped.
But the silence following his words seemed to stretch almost too long, and when he finally looked back up at his general, it was to a look he couldn't wholly identify in his eyes. Ultimately, though, the look collapsed into an exhausted smile before the Jedi nodded in approval.
"You'll be fine. We're gonna have a lot to talk about when you guys get back, and I do mean a lot. But Rex, until then I've really only got one order for you."
"General?"
"Take care of her. Take care of each other. No matter what happens, I want you to be there for her," he said, as serious as Rex had ever heard him.
"You don't have to order that of me... nor even ask it," he returned. "As I told Maul when this all started, I would choose her life over mine every time. I will always protect her. Always."
"I believe you," Anakin said with a sure look, but before he could say anything more, he looked over and offered a subtle, "Master Windu," in greeting just before the older Jedi stepped into the holo image, letting them know that the conversation was over. But as Jesse gave a brief recounting of his time in command of the new division, Rex's thoughts kept going back to the strange looks he'd seen on Anakin's face. He couldn't make sense of it, but he could see that something was going on with his general.
The sooner they got back to Coruscant, the better.
Because we all definitely seem to be talking about that a lot these days. Of course my growing Lasat mythology needed a version of its own. This story isn’t...exactly that, though it certainly falls into that category.
If you haven’t seen the first two myths in my little series, you can check them out over on AO3.
The full version of this story will be out next week, but it’s also available right now on my Patreon if the spirit so moves you. :D But in the meantime, here’s a little taste of it.
~*~
Ashiryn, for her part, knew nothing of her siblings or of her mother's sorrows. She had no idea that every living thing sought and could not find her. All she knew was her friend – her Ivlena. Some part of her was aware of what the pair of them were creating in their wake, of the peoples they had sung into being, and that same distant part thought that her mother might be proud, but still she continued to run with Ivlena, unaware of the ages that were passing by in the bloom of their joy.
Ashiryn was unaware of how she herself was changing.
The revelation came upon her suddenly on a starry night as she and Ivlena were crossing a sea of stars on the backs of purrgil. Her companion was not her usual playful self and the young goddess wanted to understand why.
"My dearest friend...you are unhappy," she said softly, reaching for her hand.
"What is happiness?" Ivlena asked, not looking at her, just looking out at the vast field of stars.
"Well...happiness is...being together. Going wherever we wish and singing new songs and making beautiful things."
"And...what is loneliness?"
"Not being together," the young goddess whispered, feeling a chill steal across her heart as she reached for her dearest companion's hand.
"Were you lonely...before we met?" Ivlena asked her, their fingers twining together.
"I didn't know it then, but...yes."
"I was alone. For such a long time...I was alone. And now I fear I will always be alone," her friend lamented.
"But why should you be alone when you have me, dear heart?" she pressed, confused.
"I only have you because I deceived you. I led you away from everything you knew because I was selfish, and when you realize that, I'll lose you."
"You will never lose me, dearest," she insisted, desperate to have Ivlena smile again. "I went with you that day because I wanted to be with you. That was no illusion, my darling."
Ivlena shook her head in misery. "It was the desire of a child. Empty as the air."
And it was only in hearing those words that Ashiryn began to realize that she and Ivlena were children no longer. She looked on her friend and, for the first time, knew her for a woman.
"Even if you felt that way...I don't," she insisted as she lifted Ivlena's hand, drawing it to press against her heart. "What I feel is real."
Tears sparkled like stars at the corners of Ivlena's eyes as she looked to her. Those eyes were full of sorrow, but they held the beginnings of something more. "I...what- what I feel is real as well...my love."
With every moment, Ashiryn understood more and more. This was different from the love she shared with her mother, or what she felt for the new lives born of her song. This was something she felt for Ivlena alone, a love that could be shared only with the woman she had wandered the stars with. And that love was brought to its true form when the two goddesses leaned into one another and joined their lips in the very first kiss.
Ashiryn could taste the bitter salt of her beloved's sorrow in that kiss, but she could also taste the deeper, richer truth of her in that moment. Her lips were soft yet firm, tender yet eager. She would've liked nothing better than to go on kissing Ivlena for an eternity. Briefly, she wondered what her love tasted in her.
"Ashiryn," she cried out softly, desperately against her lips, "I love you. I love you!"
"My Ivlena," she cried out in kind as she caught Ivlena in her arms. "My wonderful, funny, precious, dearest Ivlena. I love you."
The kiss was glorious, and already it was not enough. The goddess wanted more of her love. She wanted to join with her, to twine so tightly with Ivlena in love and joy and pleasure that no force could ever separate them. And as they went breathlessly into each other's arms, they achieved just that. Entwined upon a bed of stardust, the lovers knew a moment of perfect union. And in that single instant, their love was imprinted upon all of creation.
Ashiryn was unaware of the moments following their bliss. She knew only that she lay with Ivlena in perfect love and contentment, naked save for the stars that blanketed them. With a dazed smile, she pressed kiss after kiss to her lover's breasts.
"I hope you don't believe you will lose me after that, my love," she sang in a haze of joy, already beginning to kiss lower once more. "Perhaps we can make it last longer this time."
But Ivlena had gone stiff in her embrace. Her sharp intake of breath in sudden terror instantly drew Ashiryn's eyes back to her face. Her eyes, normally sultry with mischief and adoration, had now gone wide in shock and horror.
"What is it? Beloved, what's wrong?"
"The stars are gone."
Looking out from their bed of delight in growing fear, Ashiryn saw that it was true. Their wonderful blankets of starlight had left them. Somehow they had gone beyond where even the purrgil could go and they were naked in the dark, trapped in a cold, grey world of smoke and vapor.
"Ivlena...what's happening? Where are we?" she whispered, clinging tightly to her lover.
"No," Ivlena hissed, her voice wavering but defiant. "We- we can't do this. We have to go. We have to leave! Now! I'll get you out of here!"
Seizing her hand, Ivlena immediately had them running, racing through the dark.
"Ivlena, I don't understand. What's happening here?!" she demanded, and though fear gripped her heart, she did not cease to follow her love through the darkness.
"There's no time to explain," Ivlena panted as they ran. "If he catches you here, he'll-"
But even as they ran, horrible, wicked, cackling laughter began to spill from the fog around them. Ashiryn didn't know if it was real or imagined, but she thought she could feel claws catching at her skin.
"No! NO!" Ivlena screamed into the unending night. "I won't let you have her! I WON'T!"
"You cannot escape," several voices breathed from the darkness, surrounding them. "You have brought us the maiden of light, and she will never again leave this realm. Ashiryn is OURS!"
"NOOO!!"
But no sooner had Ivlena screamed her defiance than they were crashing into a great crystal door. The stars of the cosmos lay just beyond it, perfectly visible, but no matter how they tried, they could not get the door to shift even the slightest.
"No. No. No!" Ivlena sobbed helplessly, beating her fists against the door until they bled.
"Why so sad, my little knight?" a single voice now came from the dark. "After all, you have achieved the purpose I created you for."
Ashiryn turned to look upon the darkness, watching a twisted figure melt from it. Her mother, but distorted in every conceivable way, and she knew without having to be told.
"The Bogan," she whispered, her mouth going dry in terror.
"Such a clever little wretch. But we must be careful," the Bogan hissed as he slithered toward them out of the mist. When Ashiryn opened her mouth to cry out in fear, the dark god was instantly upon her, stopping her mouth with a hot, demanding kiss.
This was nothing like the kiss she had shared with Ivlena. It was vile and dirty. His kiss tasted of decay, of destruction and despair, and when a scream did escape her throat, he drank it down with a moan, like it was the sweetest mead.
"Leave her alone!" Ivlena snarled, but with a single flick of his wrist, the hands she had been reaching to strangle him with were bound to the crystal door with strands of shadow. Once he had pulled back from her, he sneered sideways at her.
"So you have had her already, have you, you pathetic little slut. Such a naughty girl. When you knew she was to be mine."
"I don't understand," Ashiryn whimpered, feeling like she might be sick with the taste of the Bogan's mouth lingering on hers.
"It's quite simple, dear girl. Up until now, everything has been of your own consent and free will. But if you cry out in fear now, it will bring my vile creator down on us."
Once more, Ashiryn opened her mouth to scream, to cry for her mother's help, but she was swiftly silenced when the Bogan reached out to wrap a hand around Ivlena's neck.
"You get one warning, child. Scream now and it will go the worse for your beloved."
Ivlena shook her head violently. "Ashiryn, don't worry about me. Do it! Call for help," she choked out.
But Ashiryn could not. No matter how terrified she was, she could not bring herself to let harm come to the woman she loved. So even though it broke her heart to see the mirrored heartbreak that cracked her lover's eyes as she nodded her consent, she could do little more than bow her head before the dark creature. When he released Ivlena, she slid to the ground with a choked cough.
"I see that you know me, Ashiryn," he said, that ugly voice growing strangely soft as he lifted her face by the chin to look her in the eye. "And of course you need no introduction, glorious maid."
"What is this place?" she whispered, struggling to master her fear, to not look away from him.
"This is my realm. It is the land that lies behind the stars. The darkness that gives form to your mother's light. Because you see, my dear, the brighter shines your light, the deeper the shadow it casts."
At his words, four more figures emerged from the seething darkness, each one more frightening than the last. The worst of them was a large, broad-shouldered male, the rumble of a growl sounding deep within his chest as his yellow eyes glowered at her. The next was a slender woman whose mouth was revealed to be full of fangs when she opened it to leer at her. Where there should've been eyes in her face, there were only black, gaping voids. The third was a lovely male whose danger lay in the seeming sincerity of his smile. And the last...the last she could make no sense of. This one gazed upon her with no expression at all. The longer she looked, the less Ashiryn felt she could even see them.
"Who...who are they?"
"If it please you, my princess, these are my children. The man is Beranzeb, born when I grappled with fear. His younger sister is Savarask, born of the void, the deepest ocean, the blackest distance between stars is her domain. The boy is Kyosh, child of capricious fate, who will laugh as the heavens burn. And Uliahn, well...they have not made themselves known yet, but whatever their true form is, I'm certain you will draw it from them in time. Every one of my children will serve you well."
Once more, the Bogan's words spurred them to action, each of the dark gods dropping to a knee before her and bowing their heads.
"Hail to the queen," they exulted as one.
If she could've backed away, she would've, but she was pinned, helpless against the sealed door.
"I- I don't understand."
"Ah. Perhaps the work was done a little too well, if you do not yet know why you were brought here. Bright Ashiryn, if you so will it, I would have you rule this realm at my side...as my queen."
Words could not describe the horror and loathing she felt in that moment. The pleased smirk that curled the edges of the Bogan's mouth was the very definition of nightmare. "Why?" she ultimately made herself ask. "Why would you think that such an abomination could ever be my will? To threaten Ivlena to force me into such a choice is-"
"Force, my dear?" he interrupted in a strangely gleeful tone. "Far from it. I would never force my bride into anything. This will be your choice, lovely Ashiryn."
"Never."
"She doesn't understand," Savarask said with a twisted leer, her voice tinged with an ugly laugh. "Such a naive little thing."
"What do I not understand?" she pressed.
"Oh, my dear," the Bogan continued, shaking his head with an air that was almost pitying. But when he turned to look down at Ivlena, that eerie glee returned. "Do you wish to explain, or shall I?"
But I Remember What it Feels Like Beside You - A Rexsoka Story
All righty, nice to see my teaser generated some interest for this one. Hopefully the story lives up to the hype. *sweatdrop*
Well, here we go. Chapter 1 is up over on AO3. Do pop on over and tell me what you think, and if you find yourself wanting a peek at the second chapter, check out the rest of this post.
@jessigurl-design, I believe you were desiring of a tag when the first chapter finally dropped? Well, here we be. :D
~*~
Maul couldn't deny that he'd had a great deal more fun with Ahsoka Tano and her little soldier than even he could've anticipated. Unfortunately, though, playtime would have to cease for the moment. The galaxy truly was about to turn and it seemed he just might need the Lady Tano's support. He had done what he could for his own empire. Now all that remained was...Tano.
"And if you die, you will die as warriors!" he announced to his band of Mandalorian followers, and as the remnants of Death Watch cheered their lord, Maul turned his attention to his prisoner. The only one in the gathering that still held any value to him.
His key to Ahsoka Tano.
The clone was on his knees between Kast and Saxon, wrists still bound, his gaze cast listlessly downward. Only Maul's own keen sense could detect the slight tremor in the hardened soldier as he approached.
"One final part to play," he mused as he drew into the clone's personal space, the others readying for battle around them. "You don't know it yet, but this may well be the most important role you serve in this war."
Awareness sparked faintly in the clone's eyes as he glanced up at him, that awareness flickering into a weak glare. "If...if you mean- giving her the opportunity she needs...to prove she's better than you...then yeah. Most important thing I do in this life."
"What will it take, do you think?" he asked, forcing the clone to look up at him properly with a harsh grip on his chin. "To convince your lady that she fights for the wrong cause?"
"Nothing," his captive spat out, not resisting the hold, but defiance waking anew in his gaze. "You're a liar and a murderer and you hurt people because you get some kind of sick pleasure out of it. Far as I can see, you just want to watch the galaxy burn. Nothing you do could ever convince Ahsoka Tano that you want the same thing, because you can't. You can never. So you might as well stop trying."
Maul let a sneer curl the corners of his mouth as he stared into the fire of the downed soldier's eyes, leaning in closer to him. "Then I suppose I shall have to settle for my Lady Tano's fury instead. You may compel her to more than you realize. If only you could have heard the way her mind screamed when I invaded it...when I gave her your torment."
Snarling in fury, Rex broke his hold, throwing himself at him, though he didn't get far before being restrained by the two Mandalorians.
"HUT'UUN!" the clone cried out, struggling futilely against his captors. Maul couldn't help but laugh as he watched the fruitless struggle.
"What is this?" he asked in amusement as he drank in Rex's anger. "This sad attempt of the clones' to seem Mandalorian? I assure you, Rex, they will never view you as such. Even if they did, you will never truly earn a Mandalorian's honor. Not when you cannot even protect that which you hold most dear."
It was difficult. To press his memory of his confrontation with Tano onto Rex's mind when he was blind to the power of the Force was almost beyond his skill, but the desire to taste that pain spurred him on.
Where is he?
NOOO!!
...if you kill him...you won't have to worry about going before the Council...because I will end you myself...
"Ahsoka," Rex whispered, voice falling off as he fell still in their hold. His eyes bulged and his breathing grew stilted. He was not reacting to her pain, as Maul might have thought, but to her turmoil...at how close to total loss of control she was.
"You are the fire that feeds her anger, Captain. And Ahsoka Tano is no Kenobi. I wonder if you-"
...Tano...her eyes closed in pleasure...a head of blond hair between her legs...
Ner Ahsoka. Ner ke'gyce, ner cyare, ner yir.
...the clone, standing over a comm console, hands trembling as his helmet drops to the floor...
No! I'll do it.
Rex?
...Tano's eyes, wide with fear...but not fear for herself...
Stay back!
...tears spilling down his face, unsteady as he aims his blasters...aims them at...
...her lightsabers drawn, deflecting blaster fire at the clones...
Maul heard himself laughing as he was released from the grips of the vision. He didn't understand, not a whit, but one thing seemed fairly plain to him.
"It seems I do not need to destroy you, Rex. The two of you are going to do that quite well on your own."
"What- what're you talking about?" the clone asked, gaze refocusing on him.
"You. And Ahsoka Tano. Are going. To destroy one another," he related with clear relish. "I do not know how. I do not know when. I do not know why. What I do know is that my vision has never been clearer in my whole life than it is this night."
"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" the vanquished soldier screamed, broken, heartsick, struggling only briefly before falling still again. Then, quietly, staring at his bound hands, "I can't."
"Believe me or not, as you choose. But neither of you have the power to escape this fate. Not on your own, anyhow. Let us see, Captain, if your lady might be made to see reason before the hour grows too late."
~*~
As always, the full chapter is available right now on my Patreon page if you’ve got a few spare bucks on hand and don’t want to wait until next week. Think it’ll take more than a few weeks to get this whole story out.
Well, this week I’ve got a little Greek mythology one shot as the new thing over on AO3, but what I’ve also got is a teaser for a new story that I’ll start posting next week. Bad batch just really got me in a Clone Wars era mood when it dropped and this was the ultimate result.
The basic premise for this one is ‘What if Maul had kidnapped Rex instead of Jesse?’
~*~
In all her life, Ahsoka Tano did not think she had ever seen a gaze as eerie or as intent as Darth Maul's.
It wasn't that she had never come up against a Sith before. She had faced Ventress often enough, but Ventress had never much cared to work out what was inside of her opponents. Maul, though...Maul looked ready to pick her brain apart piece by piece until he found what he wanted. Though what that was, she had no idea. If he was so certain this Darth Sidious was poised to take over the galaxy-
The Force warned her just before the tunnel erupted with blaster fire, Rex and his men pouring into the space to engage the members of Death Watch. She was ready when Maul came at her, his red blade locking with her blue ones.
"Not yet," he snarled at her through the glow of their entangled sabers. Then he pressed her back several steps before flinging her back with the Force.
Unprepared for the move, Ahsoka was sent flying into the wall, her head striking the hard metal. She managed to keep hold of her lightsabers, but getting back to her feet was a struggle.
And several things happened during that struggle.
One of the Mandalorians had seen her go down and taken the opportunity for a shot. She didn't know how Rex had seen the woman make the shot before even she had but, somehow, he did.
"NO!"
With no Jedi reflexes and no Force abilities, in the split second he had to make the decision, Rex did the only thing he could do to protect her.
He threw himself into the line of fire, taking the blaster bolt in his left shoulder.
"Rex!" Ahsoka shouted, the single syllable of his name harmonizing eerily with his cry of pain as he went crashing to his knees. For a moment, she was so attuned to him, she could actually feel the pain of his injury in her own shoulder.
And she could see the Mandalorian warrior taking aim for his head.
"HOLD!"
The authoritative bark of the former Sith's voice thundered through the chamber so completely it even forced her own men to a standstill, made aware that their commander was in trouble. The look in Maul's eyes as he approached her captain was something she could only describe as puzzled interest.
"This is...different," the Zabrak said as he deactivated his lightsaber, using the hilt to flip the helmet off Rex's head. "You. You would die for her?"
There was pain in every aspect of Rex's being, but he kept his head held high as he glared defiance up at Maul.
"I'd choose her life over mine...every time. But that's something a man like you could never understand."
Ahsoka couldn't explain why, but the wicked sneer that curled Maul's features at her captain's words caused her heart to sink.
"Oh, I believe I understand quite well...Rex, was it?" he mocked, flinging a knowing glance over Rex's head at Ahsoka. "Perhaps...a great deal better even than you do. Let us see if your Jedi returns your devotion."
At that, Maul raised a hand, lifting Rex into the air with the Force, turning him slowly to face Ahsoka. His features were twisted in pain, but he looked at her with resolve.
"Co- Commander," he choked out, the old title falling from his lips out of habit, "take him now."
Don't let him use me against you.
Whether she had actually heard the thought in his mind or his meaning was just that plain to her, she wasn't sure. Even after months apart, it had still been so easy for them to fall into their old rhythm. She was not about to betray her dearest friend for whatever twisted game Maul was trying to play.
"Let him go," she snarled at her enemy, brandishing her weapons, but at the edge of her thoughts, quickly burrowing into her concentration, she felt surprise from Rex. She supposed she couldn't blame him. Even she hardly recognized her own voice like this.
"Or what?" Maul threw back at her. "Will you go through your- comrade...to get to me, little Jedi? Do not make threats you are not capable of following through on."
"You don't know what I'm capable of," she warned him, to which he gave a dark laugh.
"I do not know? I, who have been cast out in every way imaginable, do not know the depths a desperate soul might sink to?" he growled as he paced behind Rex, but his burst of anger quickly turned back to the disgusting sneer from before. "But then...perhaps I do not know. What do you think, Captain? What do I not know of this Ahsoka Tano?"
As he spoke, Maul's fingers twisted to the point of becoming claw-like, and Ahsoka watched with growing worry as Rex's eyes bulged in sudden alarm.
"Show me the truth of her, clone."
"No," Rex bit out, beginning to thrash in the former Sith's hold. "You can't- she...she's n-...stay out of my head!"
"Rex-"
"No!" her friend snapped, focusing on her through Maul's influence. "Don't- don't worry about me. Finish the mission!"
"Can you do it?" Maul challenged her. "Does his pain call to you the way yours did to him?"
"No...no..." Rex ground out, and Ahsoka didn't know if it was a plea for Maul's mercy or for her action. She could end this right now while Maul grandstanded...but...
...Rex.
"No what, Rex?" Maul hissed, fingers drawing closer to Rex's temple. "What do you not wish for her to see?"
"Please...please..." her captain begged, his narrowed gaze focused on her.
Kill me if you have to!
That she had heard. From his heart to hers. Like all command level clones, he had a certain degree of training in resisting Force control, but with his injury and Maul focusing so intently on him, who knew how long he could throw off the psychic talons digging into his mind?
"I do not need the Force to read you, you know," Maul said with clear relish as he came to stand uncomfortably close behind Rex, his words for his victim, but his gaze for Ahsoka. "Your actions speak louder than any words ever could."
"Then forget whatever game it is you're playing and let him go," Ahsoka demanded.
"Not. Yet," Maul repeated in an uncanny parallel of his earlier words.
"I- will not...betray her!" Rex cried out, starting to scream now.
"There it is!" Maul exulted in triumph, his focus wholly on Rex for just a moment, and in that moment, Ahsoka felt the full weight of that dark power come to bear on her captain's mind.
"AHSOKA!!"
"No! Stop this!" she screamed with him as she lashed out at Maul.
Faster than the eye could track, his blade had appeared to intercept hers, the red and blue clashing little more than a centimeter from Rex's head. Stars, they could've...she'd almost...
"Child's play," Maul said with a fresh sneer as she stumbled a step back from him, his blade dropping to rest threateningly across Rex's defenseless neck. "But then...love is for children."
"What are you talking about?" she barely managed to demand. Outwardly, she was collected, hardly even rattled by what had happened, but inwardly, she was reeling from the mistake she'd almost made.
Maul appraised her a long moment before beginning to back away from her, easily coaxing Rex with him. "You really have no idea, do you. Poor, naive little Jedi. What will your ignorance cost him in the end?"
"Maul, if you don't release him right now, I'll-"
"Ah, ah, ah. No promises, Ahsoka Tano. You shall have this one back once he has given me what I desire. Though I make no guarantees on him being in one piece," he said as he continued to back away with Rex.
Rex himself looked dazed, weakened by what Maul had done to him. He was pale and shaking, a thin sheen of sweat breaking out on his skin. When he managed to focus his eyes on her, he honestly looked like he might collapse.
"Ahsoka," he mumbled, lost, afraid, and uncertain. He hardly ever used her name and here it was twice in only five minutes. "Ahsoka...I'm sorry."
"This isn't your fault, Rex. I'll find you," she reassured him. "I'll find you and we'll finish the mission."
"As you like," Maul said with a roll of his eyes, pulling back with the rest of his followers. "And I don't suppose this bears clarification, but pursue one step in our direction and your captain dies."
Ahsoka watched them fall back for as long as she could, maintaining eye contact with Rex as they moved slowly to the end of that first tunnel. But then she noticed Maul raise the hand that held his shoulder, drawing it sharply across the back of his head as he brought the Force to bear on him.
"Sleep well, little copy. You and I have a very long night ahead of us."
Then Rex was falling, crumpling unceremoniously like a puppet whose strings had been cut. She had to resist the urge to run to him as two of the Mandalorians moved in to take his unconscious weight.
Then they were gone.
I will find you! she shouted into the Force, even though she knew he couldn't hear her. She had just gotten him back. She was not going to lose him again.
"I will find you," she said aloud, her voice calm as she dropped to one knee to retrieve Rex's fallen helmet.
I will never abandon you.
~*~
So...seem like it could be interesting at all? I hope so. Full first chapter will be available next week, but it’s also available right now on my Patreon if you’re so inclined. Either way, I hope you enjoy. :D
