I want a fanfic where the Eridians don't understand sex. For them, reproduction happens outside the body and almost without contact, so the idea that one being has to enter another to release fluids must be unimaginable. Grace probably didn't even bring up the subject at first, after all he thought he'd never meet another human being again, and when Simon appeared they had more important things to deal with.
Imagine that the Eridians keep an eye (or carapace?) on humans at all times. If something happens to either of them, they want to act as quickly as possible to help, since basically any problem in their habitat can be fatal.
They are happy that Grace and Simon have moved past the awkwardness phase and are getting along. They are talking, spending time together, greatly improving both of their mental health. In the beginning, Simon attacked Grace a few times, but now they are even hugging! Progress!
One "night" (which is probably the time they turn off the lights in the habitat so humans can sleep better) a Eridian, who had been listening to the humans, begins to hear sounds they've never heard before. Muffled, damp sounds. Paying attention, the Eridian realizes that Simon and Grace are the source of these noises and that Simon is HURTING GRACE! THIS ARE SOUNDS OF PAIN!!! ALERT ALERT ALERT
Next scene is Rocky and 10 other Eridians (that invaded the room and stopped/attacked Simon to save Grace) getting a lecture about "Human Sexual Intercourse" and "Privacy" from a very embarrassed Grace, that at the same time is trying to keep Simon from throwing himself in the artificial ocean
I'm imagining a semi-distant future in the Project Hail Mary universe. The sun was saved, we had a few years to fix the climate, but now with Astrophage we can finally make interstellar journeys. Hundreds of years pass and we have a crew traveling through some other solar system when, suddenly, an alien spacecraft appears! Incredible! First contact! The astronauts are apprehensive, they don't know if the aliens are friendly. Since they've never identified intelligent life outside of Earth, they have no weapons to defend themselves if they are hostile. And how will we communicate?
The astronauts send a signal and immediately receive a response, realizing that something is being sent in their direction. A cylinder. After some discussion and putting on their suits, they finally bring the object inside the spacecraft.
Everyone is apprehensive. What's inside the object? Is it dangerous? And if it's an alien language, how will they decipher the writing of a completely unknown alien species...?
The cylinder opens and a sound begins to come from inside it, a clearly artificial, mechanical voice that says...
"HELLO GRACE FRIENDS! HOW YOU ARE DOING QUESTION?"
...the alien species speaks fucking English
(And the funniest thing is that it's ONLY ENGLISH! The astronauts try to speak other languages with them, imagining they have some kind of magical automatic space translator, but the aliens just say "you're talking weird" and only understand American English)
So again based off a TikTok, but Robert definitely speaks multiple languages and will purposefully mispronounce words to piss off Flambae in particular.
At some point Flambae figures it out but can't prove it, until one day Robert just starts speaking Spanish fluently to someone. And when Flambae points it out, Robert just looks him straight in the face deadpan and says "I don't know what you're talking about, I don't speak Spanish"
The main SDN office decided to expand the Phoenix program after the Shroud attack, but every group they create in other bases fail miserably while the z-team start to get better and better
They ask BB how this is happening and she said is because of Team Z's Dispatcher, but when they ask Robert he says he's only doing his job
Bullshit
So they decide to send a spy to find out how Robert is keeping the former villains under control. This spy gets a job as a janitor or any other position that allows him to watch Robert during work and have access to the dispatch channel.
At first, everything seems normal. Robert is an excellent dispatcher, knows who to send in every situation, and is quick to make decisions and hack systems. Z-Team listens to what he says and obeys orders most of the time, even though they complain and curse throughout the process. This surprises the spy, and he almost begins to believe that nothing is really different... until he notices how the team acts with Robert during breaks and after work.
They say things like "when I put my hands on you, bob bob" in strange tones, always pushing and pulling the dispatcher to unknown places. He always disappears during the break only to reappear at the end. After work, Robert always goes home accompanied by one or more of them, and the next day it looks like he spent the night awake because of the dark circles under his eyes. He has several injuries that appear in strange places.
One day, during a break, the spy finds him and Flambae in a corner of a dark meeting room, whispering to each other while the man on fire has a hand in Robert's hair, holding it tightly. "Not here," the dispatcher whispers hurriedly, and Flambae lets out an irritated groan and lets the smaller man go "Tonight you're mine." The next day, Robert is limping when he arrives at work.
The spy is certain that the Z-Team is physically abusing Robert.
(The scene changes and Robert is being fucked in every imaginable position by the Z-Team members with the biggest smile on his face)
I'm a multishipper, but I'm also a beliver of AroAce Jason Todd agenda (depends of my mood but being AroAce I like making my blorbors AroAce too)
Reading "One-night stands" first gave me the ick but then a whole headcannon came to me like a nuke (disclaimer: this is very much based on my experience as an AroAce. if this sounds very self-indulgent, that's because it is. Sorry about that)
Imagine Street Rat Jason Todd. The only relationship he had contact before was Catherine and Willis... not a very good start, and once he became homeless, he didn't have the time to lean and analyze how he feel about relationships and sexuality
And then he is adopted by playboy Bruce Wayne. A guy who has a new model under his arm for every party he goes to, who must have slept with half of Gotham (according to the gossip papers)... and Jason finds out that he is Batman, that he doesn't care about these women (and men, let's be real) beyond the alibis and escapes they can provide for him. And he has strange relationships with women who know him as Batman.
And then he looks at Dick, the older brother who doesn't like him but who everyone says he should be like. Dick is older, he's cool, he has lots of friends, and he's respected by the caped community. And he sees a guy who jumps between relationships the same way he jumps on a trapeze (I'm not saying Dick doesn't care about his relationships, far from it. But in Jason's eyes, who didn't talk to Dick much during this time, one second he's with Barbara, the next he's with Kori, back to Barbara, then to someone else and someone else and back to Kori and... you got me)
It's no surprise for me that he got more attached to Alfred (who has no desire whatsoever to pursue romantic and/or sexual relationships anymore) during his stay in Wayne Manor
And then he died. Did he have time to figure out that he's AroAce (or figure out that this is a thing) before then? Or did he die thinking that he was "broken" for not having the same interests and relationships as the people around him? It doesn't matter. He's back, and his focus is revenge (let's forget about the Talia thing. That never happened shhhh)
(I don't think it would be as formative as Bruce and Dick, but the fact that the new Robin also had more relationships than you can count on one hand must have bothered him too)
Fast forward. He's back in the family. He probably knows he's Ace, Aro or Acespec. He's comfortable with it, but there's a difference between being comfortable and coming out to your family, especially for a "playboy" family like his. So he lies and "mimics" the attitudes that Dick and Bruce had when he was a child
One of his brothers asks if he's seeing anyone "Here and there" "I don't like to be tied down" "I was seeing someone, but it didn't work out." All lies. Dick introduces him to a girl, Jason sleeps with her just so his brother will stop bothering him, and then tell her that it is not gonna to work out. If he has an undercover mission at a party, he finds a beautiful woman to go with him only to abandon her (in a safe place) when the action starts and ghost her after. He never brings anyone home. Damn, he didn't mention if he is interested in someone without pestering him for hours, and every time he says a different name (because they don't exist).
He is handsome, a BadBoy™️ AND one of the Bats! He must have a line of people wanting to sleep with him... so probably he IS sleeping around! He just doesn't tell anyone! That's it!
And that's how, ladies and gentlemen and no-binary folks, his "Only has one night stands" fame began
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.
So, I was in a slide party with my friends on discord and being the only DC obsessed in the group I decided to make a presentation about the batboys because why not
I was talking about Jason Todd and one of my points was "never made a mistake in his life" and before I could continue one of my friends "what about the muders?" And everyone in the call said in sync "what murrrrdahhh?" And I feel that this is a common reaction in crime alley when they talk about Red Hood
I know would be awful, but would be so fucking funny if Zoro and Sanji get married and Sanji now is Roronoa Sanji but the marines didn't get the memo and instead... they update Zoro bounty... to Vinsmoke Zoro because Vinsmoke is more 'prestigious' that Roronoa
