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Cosimo Galluzzi
we're not kids anymore.
cherry valley forever
i don't do bad sauce passes
JBB: An Artblog!
ojovivo
Jules of Nature
blake kathryn
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
occasionally subtle
★
if i look back, i am lost
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Janaina Medeiros
⁂
shark vs the universe
seen from United States
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seen from Australia
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@angelofsepta
my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called “public transport system” youll be zonked out of your gourd
Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude i swear the bus was supposed to have come twice by now
my friend my fellow commuter, pacing: the timetable is lying to us
it's okay if they don't get it
FTM International 1997 (x)
[image ID: excerpts from a list titled "A Dictionary of Words for Masculine Women" copyrighted by gary bowen. they read:
BIGENDERED:
having two genders, exhibiting cultural characteristics of both male and female roles (see ambiguous gender, epicene, variant expressive, androgyne, omnigendered, gender variant, polygendered, inner sex)
BITCH:
a female dog; a woman who doesn't take shit from men (see bullbitch)
BOY:
a masculine or boyish lesbian; a masculine or boyish woman; a woman who takes a "boy" role in a sexual relationship (see daddy)
BOYCHICK:
a masculine or boyish woman, a woman who takes up a male cultural role (see guy, boy, mandyke)
F2M, FTM:
abbreviations for 'female to male' (see transsexual)
FEMALE FAGGOT:
a woman who passes as male and who engages in gay identified relationships with genetic males (see guy, one of the boys)
DYKEOSAURUS:
an aggressive or very masculine lesbian (see bull dike)
EPICINE:
a person of indeterminate shape, an effeminate man (see androgyne, variant expressive, bigendered, omnigendered, gender variant, polygendered, boy)
HIR:
pronoun and possessive adjective for a person of undetermined gender, or for a person of deliberately ambiguous gender (see per and sie)
GENDER OUTLAW:
a person who refuses to be defined by conventional definitions of male and female - Kate Bornstein (see variant expressive, bigendered, omnigendered, gender variant, polygendered, inner sex)
each term in the parentheses sections is a link. end image ID]
whatever rural area you’re thinking of is also part of history. it is not a timeless, empty landscape. yes, even that one.
i don’t like how endings in real life come on so suddenly without making sense, without much warning. one minute you’re in the middle of something and the next it’s all a very long time ago and you’re a different person and none of it is ever coming back
sometimes a theme recurs in your work without your permission. and sometimes it reaches a threshold where you're like. well now i think this is saying something about me against my will. don't know what though
have you ever worked two or more jobs at the same time?
Have you ever worked two or more jobs at the same time?
Yes
No
To be aware you might be trans but unwilling to do anything about it is to create endlessly bigger boxes within which to contain yourself. When you are a child, that box might encompass only yourself and your parents. By the time you are a gainfully employed adult, that box will contain multitudes, and the thought of disrupting it will grow ever more unthinkable. So you cease to think of yourself as a person on some level; you think not of what you want but what everybody expects from you. You do your best not to make waves, and you apologize, if only implicitly, for existing. You stop being real and start being a construct, and eventually, you decide the construct is just who you are, and you swaddle yourself up in it, and maybe you die there. There is still time until there isn’t.
This reading of TV Glow’s deliberately anticlimactic, noncathartic ending cuts against the transition narrative you typically see in movies and TV, in which a trans person self-accepts, transitions, and lives a happier life. Owen gets trapped in a space where he knows what he must do to live an authentic life but simply refuses to take those steps because, well, burying yourself alive is a terrifying thing to do. The transition narrative posits a trans existence as, effectively, a binary switch between “man” and “woman” that gets flipped one way or another, but to make our lives so binary is to miss how trans existences possess an inherent liminality.
Humans’ lives unfold in a constant state of becoming until death, but trans people are uniquely keyed in to what this means thanks to the simple fact of our identities. You can get lost in that liminality, too, forever trapped in a midnight realm of your own making, stuck between what you believe is true (I am a nice man with a good family and a good job, and I love my life) and what you know, deep in your most terrified heart of hearts, is real (I am a girl suffocating in a box).
And yet if you want to read the film as being about the dangerous allure of nostalgia, you’re not wrong. I Saw the TV Glow totally supports that interpretation, too! But in tempting you with that reading, the film creates a trap for cis viewers that will be all too familiar to trans viewers. Somewhere in the middle of Maddy’s story about The Pink Opaque being real, you will make a choice between “This kid has lost it!” and “No. Go with her, Owen,” and in asking you to make that choice, TV Glow is simulating the act of self-accepting a trans identity.
See, the grimmer read of the film’s ending truly is a nihilistic one. It leaves no hope, no potential for growth, no exit. Yet you must actively choose to read that ending as nihilistic. If you are cis and the end of I Saw the TV Glow left you with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a weird but hard-to-pin-down feeling that something had broken, and a melancholy bordering on horror — congratulations, this movie gave you contact-high gender dysphoria.
In an infinite number of possible universes, there is at least one where I am still living “as a man,” embracing my fictionality, avoiding looking at how much more raw and real I feel when I “pretend” to be a woman. I think about that guy sometimes. I hope he’s okay.
Consider, then, my cis reader, that TV Glow is for both you and me, but it is maybe most of all for him. I hope he sees it. I hope he breaks down crying in the bathroom afterward. I hope he, after so many years locked inside himself, hears the promise of more life through the hiss of TV static.
Emily St. James, “I Saw the TV Glow’s Ending Is Full of Hope, If You Want It to Be,” Vulture. June 4, 2024.
patron saint of one-way trips and other journeys from which you can never return
this post is about her
friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her
-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them
-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail
-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash
guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared
AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg
shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)
fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL
"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both
i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:
-axe (stolen)
-earrings made out of dentures
-flavored condoms
-a quilt
-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)
-deer spine
-baseball sized wad of human hair
-""sex apron""
-uranium glass plate
-pile of non-uranium non-car glass
-rollerblades
-complete phantom of the opera cd set
-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick
-lego millennium falcon
-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")
-the back bumper of the car
-an entire fucking ant colony
and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,
-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long
i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.
guys i cant take it anymore
bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup
‘public transit feels unsafe’ mfs when it’s time to go 70 down the highway while filming a tiktok:
how insane must it have felt to be an actor table reading for bbc merlin. alright anthony this week, you are driven mad by memories of the children you killed in your genocide. next week? bald.
I’m actually kinda fun once you get to know me (takes 3 to 4 years).
