THE LORD IS MY CHARIOT BUT YOU'RE MY RIDE HOME

I’m Al. 30s. She/they, bi, & mentally ill. Under 18 don’t interact. Nothing personal just not gonna stop talking about sex and drugs and cool shit. ♈️

[natalieironside]

Tip for how to be more annoying:

If someone is attempting to ask you questions about politics and you'd rather not engage, feign comprehensive ignorance of whatever they're trying to discuss. And I mean comprehensive; you are not playing the role of a potential convert who just hasn't heard of [issue] yet, but rather that of someone who does not know who the president is. If they name him, you've never heard of such a man in your life. You're not entirely sure what the Supreme Court is but you heard on a podcast or something that it got abolished by the mayor. Who's the mayor? Well, why would I know who the mayor is? Say things like "Who's to say" and "I thought that was from a movie."

If they're still incredulous as to the sincerity of your ignorance, become irate and defensive. Take umbrage with the very notion of common knowledge. Say things like "Look, dude, I don't gotta know every little thing, alright? You show me in the bible where it says it's illegal not to know things."

This is an expeditious and highly effective technique to disencentivize people from speaking to you, if that's something you're in need of

[swordsman-jing-ke]

“My emperor is fine” your emperor has commissioned over 8000 life-sized terracotta soldiers and buried them facing east, in the direction of his recently conquered enemies in the hopes that they will protect him in the afterlife.

[qin-shi-huang-di]

DELETE THIS IMMEDIATELY

[byjove]

“I’ve discovered some new passages of the Bible that say you go to hell if you’re JD Vance and superhell if you are capitalizing off the AI boom.” and the pope is right

[argentavis]

hey do you mind grabbing joseph's coat for him? yeah its the red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and gray and purple and white and pink and orange and blue one

[whatifwekilledgodandwebothgirls]

Hes a womaniser. Hes a woman. Hes a gay man. Hes a fujoshi teenage girl . Hes a my chemical romance reject but if a group of emos passed by him hes fall them suicide squad and harras them . Hes a slut . Hes blond . He is lestat lioncourt,probably the most complex female character we've seen in recent history

[fidelcostco]

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

[fidelcostco]

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

[fidelcostco]

oh this is my post

[deergirlsrituals]

ppl using chatgpt as their therapist or friend is a direct consequence of living in a society where ur basically guaranteed to get imprisoned if u talk abt being suicidal

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[taraljc]

o fuck there's two of them now did they grow this one in a lab from a cutting?

[c3po]

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

[effemimaniac]

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact

[cross-x-rose]

"Alice Through The Looking Glass" statue at Guildford Castle ground in England by sculptor Jeanne Argent.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

CPTSD constantly has me acting so cartoonishly stupid. hello my partner of 4 years who has literally never so much as raised their voice in my direction, i heard you doing dishes a little louder than usual in the other room. are you going to kill me?

[cryptotheism]

The funniest thing you can add to any piece of media is a boy detective. Breaking Bad needed a 13 year old child who goes around looking for clues to the caper and whatnot.

[aflo]

Hank

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

Once I was doing fieldwork with someone from Europe and said “careful, there’s a rattlesnake over there.” And she rushed over like I’d said there was a quetzal.

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

I said “Ma’am please, we’re three hours from a hospital!” and she said

1.) I don’t understand how that can be

2.) But I’ve never done fieldwork from a car before (!!!) so I’ll take your word for it.

3.) Did you just call me ma’am? Like a cowboy?

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

We drove through the Los Angeles megacity together — and at one point were stuck in traffic.

“Heeeey”, she said, like someone gently broaching a topic I should have noticed, “Why does the lane next to us have diamond shaped symbols on it?”

That is! A subtle and friendly way of asking why we’re sitting in traffic when there’s a carpool lane Right There! I laughed and pulled into the lane and started driving.

Unfortunately. That isn’t what she was implying, she was genuinely asking. So we were stuck in traffic, she asked about what was clearly a breakdown or emergency access lane, and I laughed and started driving in it. She was Alarmed.

“Hello! Excuse me! We can’t drive in this lane! No one else is driving in this lane!!”

“Oh! I should have said — this lane is for people with more than one person in their car.”

“That is RIDICULOUS. You are lying. You are lying about what this lane is for and we’ll get arrested! (ma’am it’s fine but if it weren’t it would be more of a “ticket” situation) we’ll get a “ticket”! (Ma’am again it’s fine but were it not I alone would get the ticket) because that IS NOT the purpose of this lane. That is a RIDICULOUS lie.”

“I’m sorry, I should have said — I thought you were being subtle about my oversight. Please observe the carpool sign.”

“I don’t know what a carpool is and I don’t believe you.”

“How about you look at all the cars stuck in traffic and see how many have more than one driver, and if there are at least five I’ll get back into the traffic jam.”

“FINE!”

<a pause>

(With dawning horror) “none of these cars have more than one person in them.”

“I know.”

“None of these cars have more than one person!!”

“If you weren’t here I’d be right there with them.”

“OK but there was no train to where we needed to go.”

“There’s no train to where they needed to go either.”

“HOW.”

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

Later that day:

“I know McDonalds and Burger King sell Burgers, but what does Wendy’s sell?”

“Burgers”

“And Sonic?”

“Burgers.”

“Jack in the Box?”

“Burgers.”

“In’n’Out?”

“Look, It’s burgers all the way down.”

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

She hopped off a plane, went camping on Catalina with her husband and his lab, and then I showed her a rattlesnake, dragged her through heavy brush, took her (food) shopping in Beverly Hills, illustrated American car dependency and love of burger, and threatened to shoot someone trying to break into our hotel room. (I did not have a gun) She speed-ran the US American experience in eight days.

[hauntedhunted]

tarot reader: draws the tower me: thats bad isnt it tarot reader: draws the tower again me: uh oh tarot reader: draws boeing 767

[were--ralph]

someone make this into a bumper sticker

[savvytwinkle]

This is absolutely not staying in the tags

[were--ralph]

@geothefafa we desperately need an update with a picture of Garcia

[geothefafa]

he had to grab a picture of her

i hope this helps

[commiehilfiger]

it's actually dr pepper rodriguez and she's an official dr now bc she got her phd!

[geothefafa]

THATS HER!! I'm dying laughing that we completely forgot her lore and just made an oc based on this dr pepper can promotion. I'm glad she really did it though! We may have been facing the wrong way but we were rooting for her the whole time ❤️

[aristoteliancomplacency]

Padilla-Rodríguez, Ivón | History | University of Illinois Chicago

Padilla-Rodríguez, Ivón | History | University of Illinois Chicago

Ivón Padilla-Rodríguez is an assistant professor in the Department of History, specializing in the socio-legal history of child migration to the United States. The daughter of formerly undocumented Mexican immigrants, her research in and outside of academia is rooted in her longstanding commitments to immigrant communities.

She is currently working on a book project, which is based on her quadruple prize-winning doctoral dissertation, that exposes the long history of child migrants’ cruel reception in the U.S., as well as the resistance and organizing by migrants, their children, and local advocates.

She fuckin’ aced it, guys.

[grecoromanyaoi]

I think about "seinfeld is a better arthurian adaptation than bbc's merlin bc it has a woman named elaine" every single day of my life. @ whoever commented that can we kiss.

[grecoromanyaoi]

JERRY: I dont know about this green knight fella. I mean, almost chopping a knight's head off? what kind of sick man does that.

ELAINE: it was part of a GAME, Jerry! Sir Gawain willingly stepped up to it. 100% fair play.

GEORGE: yeah, and Gawain didn't even have to chop off the guy's head. He could've cut off his pinky or something.

ELAINE: oh, like you wouldn't have cut his head off.

GEORGE: *chuckles* Beheaded. Oh, I can only wish to get beheaded. The Lord would never grant me a death so honorable.

JERRY: yeah, you're more of a 'run over by an oxen cart' kind of guy

*ELAINE and GEORGE nod in agreement*

*KRAMER bursts in, wearing a full suit of armor*

KRAMER: I'm gonna do it. I'm going to find the holy grail.

[byjove]

I hate adaptions that try to add a romantic angle to the Sherlock Holmes/Irene Adler relationship, partially because he is gay, mostly because she is massively out of his league.

[byjove]

IT IS SO FUNNY, SHE REALLY DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM, at best she finds him mildly amusing. I wrote that I think she’d call him ‘little buddy’ in a modern AU and I’m rightttttt.

[byjove]

[byjove]

EXACTLYYYYYY