Nat I’m your local Harrie and I just read back to all the conversations you had about his sexuality with all those stubborn anons. As a Harrie, I can tell you that I don’t have a shadow of a doubt that he’s queer. Do I KNOW? No. Do I say my beliefs are facts? No. Only Harry knows the truth. But I have been following this man for a decade, he’s my teens in a nutshell. I have ZERO doubts. I’m gonna try to recap briefly (not) why.
1. Harry always fucked with gender. This whole wearing dresses and nail polish thing is not new. It’s just being expressed openly, but it was always there. I would have to write a dissertation to show all the proof, and I won’t. But you can Google it yourselves if you don’t want to take my word for it.
He started wearing women’s Paige Denim jeans in 2013 (he was 19). He boasted about wearing 26in waist jeans in an interview in 2015. Men have written articles about wearing the exact pants he wore and said they HAD to tuck their dicks because there simply wasn’t SPACE.
Look this up, 2014, he was wearing low waisted white jeans to the point were you could glimpse the beginning of his pubes. He started wearing sheer shirts in 2012. By 2013 he was wearing heart shaped motifs that got him compared to Victoria Beckham. He started going to London Fashion Week in 2011. He wore florals, sheet florals, glitter boots in all the colors (including pink). All of this before 1D broke up.
We know for a fact he was painting his nails in his off time by 2013, there are multiple pictures where you can see the remnants of nail polish on the edges of his nails. By 2014 he was wearing clear nail polish with a little shimmer. By 2015 he started wearing one finger nail of each hand painted a bright color. Later that year Nick Grimshaw (one of his best friends) was asked what was Harry’s favorite color to paint his nails. Nick said black. Harry had never worn full on manicures publicly at that point. In 2016 he was seen wearing manicures for the first time, in his photoshoot for Another Man. He wore all black for the party the magazine hosted for the cover. He continued to wear all black multiple times during the following months. Then in 2018 finally did his nails in a coral color for the first time. By 2019 he was wearing multiple colors and doing designs.
There are so many instances of him mocking gender roles that I would be here all day if I typed them all out. He would joke that he was masculine when doing feminine things. He would be asked what his guilty pleasure was, name something very feminine, then clarify “but I don’t feel guilty about it.” He recited lines from rom coms in interviews from the beginning when asked what his favorite movies were, then jokingly pretend to cough and say “7 mean no I like Fight Club.” When asked about boobs he would talk about himself having boobs. He would cast himself in girl roles, and mock the idea of “laddy culture” (bro culture in British). His friends call him by she/her pronouns at times (especially Nick). They also call him “Sue”, particularly his (very gay) stylist Harry Lambert.
There is no posturing when he says he likes to wear dresses or womens clothes. He does it because he likes it. He paints his nails because he likes it. He says “feminine stuff” because he likes it. None of this has anything to do with his sexuality, FYI, and he said as much, but since this is what people go to when they call him a queerbaiter I decided to talk about this first and have it dropped. Everything about his self expression is genuine and it’s not gonna stop, so people can save themselves some energy getting mad at it.
2. Harry has an army of queer people surrounding him. I don’t think you guys understand but his friends? They’re either openly queer and very flamboyant or they’re married. Sometimes both. He has no straight bro dude friends who he just takes to the club to score some chicks. NONE.
To name a few of the queer friends he has, Waseem (one of his best friends since he was 18), the aforementioned Nick and his entire crew. Emma Corrin (they’re friends. They became co-stars because they’re friends and Harry suggested her for the role when Lily James had to step down). Harris Reed, the designer. Alessandro Michele and his longtime partner. Charles Porch. Pauli Lovejoy (his musical director). Naomi Ludlow (keyboardist in his band). Jeremy O. Harris. Paul Roberts. Two of his managers/friends (Tommy Bruce and Tom Skoglund). One of his best friends who committed suicide in 2016, Matt Irwin. And those are friends off the top of my head.
His only other close friends are Xander and Max Ritz (who are presumably straight), both have longtime girlfriends and are in their late 30s. Some fans obsessed with Wattpad Harry have for a long time speculated that Xander used to pick up girls with him but that’s just fan fiction. They also use him saying he (Harry) is straight as some sort of gotcha moment, when Xander was having a conversation with a stranger who directly asked him if Harry was straight and it happened in 2015. If Xander at that point even knew that Harry wasn’t straight, he would absolutely not tell a random person anyway.
Then there’s Jeff Azoff and his wife Glenne. His friends Mitch and Sarah, who also got married and have a baby. James Corden and his wife. Ben Winston and his wife. Cindy Crawford and her husband. Tyler Johnson and Kid Harpoon (his producers and friends) and their respective wives. Tomo Campbell and his wife Sam. And that’s about it for his close group of friends. He has a couple of friends from school that he sees a couple of times a year. The two closest ones, Jonny and Alice are both in long term relationships. Alice got married last year. This is not a super straight dude playa group of friends.
He also surrounds himself with other queer people, such as his opening band MUNA, for his 2017 tour, and King Princess who was gonna do Europe for Love On Tour. He basically made the careers of designers like Palomo Spain and Charles Jeffrey. He has worked with multiple queer photographers (that he hires himself, btw). Like Tim Walker and Ryan McKingley. He co-wrote a song for the movie Love, Simon and stroke a cool relationship with the director Greg Berlanti, who’s now producing his movie My Policeman alongside his husband Robbie Rogers. Harry is involved in the development of the movie (which is also directed by an openly gay man, and its script adapter is another gay man, the man who scripted Philadelphia). 90% of the cast of the movie is openly queer.
3. Stuff he has said. He made his “I don’t use labels” statement three times. First for The Sun (in an interview) in 2017, where he said he “PERSONALLY” didn’t label himself. Then for The Face where he said he “personally hadn’t started to label himself” and then for Rolling Stone (the last two in 2019) where “he insists he doesn’t use labels”. During his The Guardian interview which everyone takes out of context, he said “it’s not like I’m sitting on an answer. It’s just that who cares?” When asked if he was bisexual. A lot of people acted like that meant that he was dismissing the question (which would be valid because you shouldn’t ask people that). In context with everything else he said, to me is more along the lines of “when I say I have no labels that is what I mean: I don’t care about labels.”
He has also stated what you noted “not that important” about dating females. He also said “don’t knock it till you try it” about sex with men. In the middle of the media frenzy about these two statements (and remember this was in 2014 and he was TWENTY). He was doing an interview with an Australian radio show and they asked them (him and Niall) about being starstruck while meeting someone. Harry brought up that they recently had been given an award by Patrick Dempsey and said, and I quote “he’s outrageously handsome isn’t he? I mean, you look at him and you go WOW” the interviewers asked if he was McSteamy (in Greys Anatomy) Harry without missing a beat said “he is steamy as well.”
He said about Ruud Van Nistelroy “I looked at him” (growing up). Making a pun because the interviewer was speaking in broken English (he was Dutch) and said “looked” instead of “watch”. The thing is that Harry was smirking, knowing full well the double meaning. This was right after the Patrick Dempsey thing, and yes the media had latched on to it as well. When asked about soccer (football) players, Harry highlighted “they have nice shorts”. He once tweeted “Shady Warehouse” which at that time had barely any results on Google, and the main one was a video of sweaty half naked men working out. Look it up it’s hilarious.
He also once tweeted lyrics to Mary Lambert’s song “Secrets” he tweeted “I’m scared if he dark and the dentist” people took it as if he was talking about Riptide, but the lyrics of Riptide don’t go like that. Those are verbatim the lyrics of Secrets, which in the same verse Harry tweeted go “I can’t think straight, I’m so gay.” At around the time he tweeted that, he had also written the song Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart for Ariana Grande. Which contains the following verse: “I can’t even think straight, but I can tell that you were just with her. And I’ll still be a fool, I’m a fool for you.” You could argue that he wrote it with those pronouns for Ariana but with the lead up of “can’t even think straight” and in the context that he knew the Mary Lambert song… and on top of that, he covered JALBOYH beautiful for his 2018 tour, said “I’m gonna sing you my version now” but didn’t switch the pronouns. (He never switches the pronouns but it’s particularly interesting because he WROTE this song and it’d be understandable if he adapted it to his own experience). Speaking of non-switching pronouns covers… he chose to cover Girl Crush at around the same time he did “my version” of JALBOYH. And the songs have basically the same meaning when Girl Crush is sang by a man.
In 2017, during the infamous heart rate challenge where they showed him a photo of Camille, they also showed him a shirtless photo of Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. His heart rate went up by a lot and the media had a field day about it. Harry was asked about this in multiple of his interviews. He said, and I quote “I think he makes everyone’s hearts go wild. He’s a handsome man I’m not ashamed.”
None of this was played up for jokes like straight men sometimes do when they joke about being gay because being gay is such a joke. He just says those comments like he would (when he was younger) make those comments about girls. He soon realized the media took those comments, who often genuinely came from a place of being attracted to those women but didn’t mean he was on the prawl for them, way too seriously so he stopped making them. Then he did the same with men, because the media ruins everything. He also tweeted he fancied Paul Rudd once, btw. Out of nowhere and with no context. He did the same with Rihanna once too.
4. Rainbows rainbows rainbows. Forget about the flags. Those are nice but did you know he has multiple Pride pins he applies to his clothes randomly? Not for promo purposes not for pride month. He just puts them in his clothes sometimes. Because he’s queer and it represents him, I presume. He doesn’t do it for optics. He doesn’t do it when he’s at events. He literally just wears them when walking down the street. He went to Pride in 2013. The entirety of 1D went to London after their shows and he stayed back to go to Pride. There are multiple tweets about it.
He’s gone to gay bars and clubs for ages. That’s where he met his friend Waseem in 2012 (check out Waseem’s Instagram, he has some of the best pics of Harry ever. Simple search “Waseem”). He’s a local at some NYC gay clubs confirmed by multiple media outlets. He filmed his TPWK music video at a theater that hosts queer nights once a week. He has Pride flags hanging off instruments while recording his albums (you can spot one in the booklet for Fine Line if you pay attention, and no it wasn’t done to bait, the photo is black and white!). In 2018 when his tour ended, before the last show he had a special lunch organized for the crew and band. The table cloths were organized in rainbow colors and they all had t-shirts made that read “Harry Styles Live On Tour last show”. Neither the table cloths nor the t-shirts were ever publicized. I think only 15 fans noticed them.
Two photos of him and Camille leaked after they broke up. They were six months old and weren’t meant to be seen. He’s wearing a shirt with a huge rainbow on his breast pocket… I’m not taking rainbows like Larries who call Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon a rainbow. I’m talking PRIDE RAINBOWS.
On top of that he wore the fellate George Harrison shirt, a shirt by Keith Haring that featured two stick men jerking each other off (which was created during the AIDS epidemic). Obviously the But Daddy I Love Him shirt, which he wore at a private NYE party we weren’t supposed to ever see (a random 15 year old fan met him because she had a rich dad and he danced like a loon with her and gave her drunk love advice. She didn’t post anything about that night until six months later).
Yes, he bought a ton of queer art, which according to interviews he displays around his house. Btw his house has a pink door and pink stairs, not relevant but it’s cute.
And I didn’t even mention Medicine (or the fact that Rob Sheffield called it “a pansexual anthem” in his cover story, which he literally said he ran by Harry who corrected one word in the lyrics he’d written down and nothing else in the entire interview). I didn’t mention “we’re all a little bit gay” or Lights Up, the concept of the music video, the timing, and what he said about it in interviews…
5. Support. Harry has been vocally supportive of the community since 2011 when he was 17. He wore a Love Is Equal shirt multiple times. Keep in mind that in 2011 there was no woke movement and queer support was simply not mainstream at least with celebs (Gaga had a huge influence changing that). He also partnered with Stonewall and Switchboard two huge LGBT charities… this was in 2013 and 2014. I talked about him going to Pride in 2013 but he also shouted out Pride in 2014 when he couldn’t go because he was touring. He was vocally supportive of equal marriage in Ireland, UK, Australia, and US. In Australia he even congratulated them on legalizing it during his acceptance speech for his first ever solo award! He risked getting deported in Singapore for raising the LGBT flag after being explicitly told that he couldn’t. When flags were confiscated from fans at his 2017 show in Nashville he brought his own flags. He shouted out Happy Pride during every night of tour in June 2018. He stood up to Westboro Baptist Church when they were picketing the 1D show in 2013 (remember he was NINETEEN). He was one of the only mainstream male (presumably straight artists to commiserate with the victims of the Pulse Shooting. He helped fans come out of the closet during his shows… I don’t know… 8 times already? He would literally stop the show and dedicate 5 entire minutes it his time to make their experience of coming out a good one. He would repeatedly tell fans “no, it’s because of you that you’re coming out” when they credited him with having the strength to come out.
This man plastered trans flags all over the stage when performing in DC after Trump launched the military trans ban. And then took one of the flags and marched back and forth on the stage with it. Then asked everyone to send a lot of love to Washington DC “it needs it right now”. He’s literally one of the only mainstream artists to not only recognize trans fans openly (“if you are black if you are white if you are white if you are gay if you are straight, if you’re transgender. I support you I love every single one of you”). He has also recognized non-binary people as valid which is basically unheard by mainstream artists of unless being directly asked about it (or if the artist themselves is NB). He literally said the words “non-binary” as well as addressing people as “they”. He also did two gender reveals and both times stressed “whatever they decide” (about their gender) after saying what the assigned gender was.
This is a man incredibly attuned to the community. To pretend otherwise is to be obtuse. I know for you he’s not “an icon” but… ask any of his fans, most of them will tell you that he is. He makes us feel loved and accepted to a degree none of our other favorite artists do. Not as consistently, not as thoroughly. We go to his concerts and it’s a safe space. We dance like nobody is watching because he asks us to (he literally said “you’re not gonna see any of these people ever again. Go nuts and don’t worry”). At EVERY show he says “I want you to be whoever it is you want to be tonight. This is a safe space”. His concerts are a parade of costumes and high fashion and ridiculousness. EVERYONE dresses up. Because we CAN. And he encourages us to do that.
I’m not sure why people dismiss him as “some dude” when they don’t know. They have no idea what he does for us. Just to give you another tear jerker, a fan had a sign at one of his lasts show that said “I can’t come out yet but can you please dedicate Lights Up to me?” He read it way before Lights Up came up, but he waited. And when the song came up, he said “this one is for you (fan’s name. It was in the sign).” With a smile and a thumbs up. It must look like a small gesture for you. But do you know how many artists do that? How many artists fans would feel comfortable enough to even ask that to? Not that many… Not Taylor for instance and I adore her.
Sure, he’s not Gaga or Cher. Or Troye or Lil Nas. And nobody thinks he is not wants him to be. He does things his own way, and that’s not always super outspoken or loud or in your face. It doesn’t make it not powerful or not impactful.
Calling him discount Bowie is absurd because he’s the furthest thing from Bowie. Bowie inspired some of his outfits, but so did a ton of others, like for every artist that’s mainstream now. Dua literally wore a Cher inspired gown to the Grammys. Zendaya wore the exact dress Linda Evangelista once wore. They’re not discount Cher or Linda. Harry’s philosophy is NOTHING like Bowie. Bowie openly did drugs and was in your face bisexual and unapologetic about it and was rough around the edges and raunchy. And Harry is NONE OF THAT. His music also sounds absolutely nothing like Bowie. Harry doesn’t even LIKE Bowie’s music.
It’s because he does this for us that we’re so fiercely protective of him. It’s what we have to do because he shows us that deference. It’s why I’m writing this dissertation. He saved my life. I was gonna end it. I saw no point in continuing. He showed me that he loved me exactly as I was when I thought nobody else did. He showed me that being different was okay. That becoming true to yourself is a journey. That it doesn’t matter what others say as long as YOU are comfortable and happy with what you do and wear and ARE. He showed me he supported me. He showed me that in some senses, despite all his privilege, he’s a little little me. And that kindred spirit is impossible to break.
I’ve reached the point of not caring what other people say about him because he doesn’t either. If you want to perceive him as “some guy” or as a straight man who wants to profit off the community he so fiercely supported and defended consistently during the entirety of the last decade, (not you in this case but your anons), then man… I’m sorry, it’s your loss. You’re seriously missing out on a quality dude.
I’m not gonna try to change the minds of the naysayers. Once in a while it feels good to put all this love I have for him in written word. And if it helps one person see him for what he truly is, then even better, because he deserves it.
This was such a lovely essay babe 🥺🥺
