tw: mpreg (Ilya preg), pet death, grief
“Are you sure you want to do this, baby?” Shane spoke softly, his brows drawn together in a sympathetic concern.
“Da.” Ilya says with a nod. Tears were falling down his eyes, but his face was rigid with determination. He was completely sure that letting her go was the best option, Anya was in pain, all of Ilya's emotions were pouring out. The fact that he was 29 weeks pregnant with their first baby made it worse, he really wanted Anya, his first baby, his puppy, the love of his life other than Shane, to meet their baby girl. The dog is cuddled against Ilya, and Ilya is cuddled against Shane.
Anya is an old dog, and she is sick. She can´t eat, she can´t walk, she's gotten extremely skinny in the last 2 months, and she was suffering. Shane and Ilya tried their best to make it better. Shane spent thousands on treatments for her. She's had 2 surgeries by now, but she still gets worse everyday.
Shane nods and gives a kiss on his husband´s temple. He is hurt and sad about Anya too, she is their companion, a best friend, a reason to smile, and the fact that it makes Ilya this sad breaks him. “I will call the vet, okay?” he says gently, one of his strong hands resting on Ilya´s baby bump, rubbing patterns gently on the spot where he can feel their baby kick.
Ilya nods. “Thank you.” he says. They would put Anya to sleep. It was a very hard decision, Ilya insisted on letting her live until she had to, but she's bad now, and he can´t stand to see her suffer, so euthanasia is the best option.
Shane leaves the room and schedules an appointment for that night, because Shane wanted to spend this last afternoon with her. Make it special, make Ilya have a last good sunset with his baby.
“It is done.” Shane says. Ilya nods softly. “Baby, do you want to go to the lake before we go to the vet?” He asks. It was part of Ilya´s routine. Everyday he would run 3 kilometers with Anya, throw her a ball or a stick whether it was in a park when they were home or by the lake when they were in The Cottage. Anya loved it, it was her favorite part of the day.
Ilya nods and looks at Shane, Shane is an amazing husband and knows exactly how to make the best in every situation.
"I'll get Anya´s stroller, yeah?” Shane says gently as he looks at the blonde with heart eyes.
Shane makes sure to prepare everything, he took a basket and filled it with snacks for Ilya, Anya and himself. He smiled bittersweetly at the chocolate box, remembering all the times Ilya told him how he wished Anya and dogs in general could eat chocolate.
“Shanya, it's just not fair. Dogs are the purest souls and they can't get to enjoy chocolate. Its's fucking toxic to them? Why? Why is that posible?” Ilya used to say with his upset face and angry Russian accent.
Shane packed the chocolate bar. Anya should try it before she leaves this world.
“Are you ready, baby?” Shane says as he enters the room. Ilya nods. He gets up and picks up Anya in his arms lovingly, and then he puts her in her special stroller.
They walk down the trail Anya knows by heart. Ilya is pushing the stroller, and Shane is walking next to him. After a small walking warmup they start to jog, not too fast, so that Anya can still have a good view of everything with her only eye that works. She used to have big brown eyes, Ilya always joked that she got them from Shane. Now she has blue eyes from old age, and only one worked.
Anya looked around, she was feeling the soft summer breeze in her face. She was happy, she was feeling loved. She could hear the birds, the sound of a loon making her peek an ear curiously. She looked up and saw the trees, she could smell the Canadian pines, she could smell Shane and Ilya's scent. She looked ahead to the road and wiggled her tail weakly, happy emotions in her.
They did the 3 kilometers. Shane made sure Ilya drank water once they got to the lake. He always made sure his pregnant husband was hydrated well.
Shane spread the picnic blanket on a cute spot by the lake, then helped Ilya to sit and carried Anya so she could lay next to Ilya, and then he sat down close to them, being Ilya´s back support.
They had a picnic date together, Anya could not walk or move at all now, so they did not throw the ball at her. She just watched her human dads eat and felt the warmth of Shane´s and Ilya´s caresses on her fur.
The sunset was incredible, yellow, pink and orange lights painted the sky. Anya wiggled her tail happily as Ilya gave her a piece of milk chocolate. It tasted delicious for her, she looked up at her owner with her adorable and tired eyes. Ilya looks at her and smiles, and all he can see is her puppy eyes, as when she was still little and he adopted her. Anya loved the chocolate, and she snuggles closer to the blonde, meaning that she is really thankful for that. She rests her head on Ilya's legs, and nuzzles gently into his baby bump.
The three of them stayed silent for a while, admiring the amazing sunset over the lake. Anya would always bark at the loons playfully, and now she just admires the loon family that is floating peacefully. She can feel how every breath she takes is slower than the last, her body is tired but her heart is so full. She remembers every word her owners said to her, she feels grateful for every treat (even the healthy treats Shane made especially for her and she disliked), she remembers every walk, how she crawled into bed with them whenever the thunder got too loud.
“Thank you for everything princess. I love you, you will forever be in my heart. Thank you for making my days brighter, for always receiving me with a smile, you gave me everything that I needed.” Anya can hear her favorite sound, Ilya's voice. He was her sun, he always made her days shine. She feels like she is the luckiest dog in the world. She closes her eyes at the sound of his voice and the sensation of the heartbeat of his owner's baby. She knows they are going to be okay. She feels safe, she feels loved, and she knows that their souls will eventually meet again someday. She stops feeling pain, she only feels love, and with this beautiful sensation, she gives her last breath, turning into an angel that will forever watch over Ilya, Shane and their family.
They stay there for a while. Ilya feels sadness but he also feels calmed, he knows she is not in pain anymore. He also feels relieved that they did not have to give in to euthanasia. She died happily in his gaze.
Shane dug up a hole in their backyard at the cottage, and they buried her there. Shane planted flowers on that spot. 5 years later their daughter walks happily over the flowers and picks up the most beautiful of them.
“Daddy do you think Papa and the baby will like them?” She asks Shane with her beautiful brown eyes.
“They will love it, bug.” Shane smiles at her and picks her up, kissing her cheek and fixing her blonde curls with love. Ilya just had their second baby days ago. They were a happy family, and they had an angel that was always looking after them.
