“omg you’re so creative. how do you get your ideas” i hallucinate a single scene in the taco bell drive thru and then spend 13 months trying to write it
hey i know i asked for constructive criticism but what i actually wanted was for you to tell me i'm extremely talented. and also pretty. sorry if that was unclear
in the fanbook, orter was said to have a pure side similar to rayne...and was also mentioned by rayne himself to be completely unrecognizable without his glasses LOL
so i wanted to draw a cuter cozy orter when he isn't at work (ft glasses and no glasses)
レナオタ✝️⌛ a time in which renatus had to take his drunk junior home (but he didn't know orter's address, so they ended up having a sleepover at renatus's house) (*he was so nervous, he couldn't fall asleep)
obsessed w this guy. he always looks like he's on the verge of tears. he loves bunnies. he was born, nay, genetically engineered to be emo. his super special magic ability is just throwing swords at people. he's captured my heart
or, you flinch during an argument, featuring: bofurin boys + jo togame
a/n: another lovely suggestion that I absolutely fell in love with! as a victim of previous emotional/mental abuse in a relationship, writing this gave me a lot of comfort <3 there are some triggering themes in this, so please proceed with caution loves. some of these drabbles are longer than others, my hand slipped on some of them >•<' (also this was my first time writing for ren kaji, and i gotta say i enjoyed it!)
c/w: fem!reader, allusions to past abusive relationships (emotional and physical), ptsd symptoms, descriptions of dissociation, anxiety symptoms/attacks, emotional hurt/comfort, soft!boys, fluff
hajime umemiya notices it the moment it happens — the second his voice rose above a particular octave, you shrunk away, arms snaked around your stomach and torso bent slightly; subconsciously, you’d taken up a position to make yourself as small as possible.
and it made umemiya’s heart ache badly; to think that someone as sweet and docile as you had been exposed to such treatment for so long that taking that sort of position was brandished instinct.
umemiya didn’t hesitate for a second. he fell silent and reached out to you, all semblance of previous irritation wiped away and replaced by only the urge to protect to you. he crowded you into his chest, but let his arms hang loosely over you — he didn’t want you to feel caged, only protected. using one large hand he cupped the back of your head and pushed your nose into his collarbone, his throat vibrating with soft little shushes as your shoulders shook in his arms.
“it’s okay, sweetheart. I’m sorry, you’re okay.”
wet tears soaked into his skin and shirt, pulling on every heartstring; his fingers massaged your scalp with tender movements as he rocked side to side subtly, pulling you into his calming rhythm subconsciously. his soothing scent, warmth, and vibrating voice chased away the memories that crept into your mind, replacing that dark place with one of sunshine and flowers. safe. warm. loved.
“you’re okay, it’s okay. just relax, baby. you’re okay; no one’s going to hurt you again.”
and umemiya said these words with such sincerity that they left no room for doubt.
it was like a dagger straight through the heart — he had only raised his hand to sweep away the hair falling in his face, but you immediately cowered away and put your arms up; a posture that sakura haruka was familiar with, one that he’d fallen into many times himself to stop a blow from landing on his face.
the feeling that ripped through his heart was unfamiliar, and sakura reacted to it in the same way he did with every other foreign emotion — by defaulting to anger.
“hey, what’s up with that shit, huh?” sakura asked, voice wobbling slightly and body frozen in place; he couldn’t put his finger on what he was feeling, only that it was something he felt with his entire being.
your arms shook when you dropped them just below your eyes, opening them to stare at your dumbfounded boyfriend through wet eyes.
the sight of your tears struck something in sakura, and he realized immediately what that intense emotion was — mortification. a bone deep mortification that ravaged his entire body.
because, right now, in this moment, you were scared of him.
the person he cared for most in this world, the one he wanted to protect and hide away, to always cherish and hold close, was scared of him.
sakura’s body reacted before his brain could catch up — he lurched forward and pulled you in, wrapping his arms around you desperately and muttering reassurances.
“I’m sorry — I’m so sorry — I’ll never hurt you baby, please don’t be scared of me.”
sakura’s hand was trembling as he ran it through your soft hair, alternating between massaging your scalp and combing through the locks. his entire body was shaking, the need to smother that fear out of you tearing his insides apart.
it was only when you reciprocated his embrace that sakura could relax, but his hold on you never faltered, and those reassurances still fell like a verbal river from his mouth.
“I love you — please don’t be scared. I’ll never hurt you, I promise…”
hayato suo was struck numb by your reaction. his mind had screeched to a halt the moment you stilled, eyes going hazy and unfocused, as if you’d mentally transported yourself somewhere else. your breathing was shallow, relaxed, but in a way that said it was a forced state of calm; and when you spoke, it was with an almost robotic voice —
“I’m sorry, suo, I shouldn’t have been so stupid.”
fat tears fell from your hazy eyes, but you showed no reaction to them, as if you couldn’t even feel them. it felt as if suo’s heart had been ripped right from his chest; how many times had you said this, done this, cried this way? how many times had you had to retreat to a faraway place just to be okay?
you eyes followed suo as he approached, but the blank look in them gave suo the impression that you weren’t truly seeing him — you couldn’t see him, because you weren’t here. suo reached forward and gripped your wrist softly. you allowed him to lead you, allowed him to gather your body into his and manually place your arms around his ribs. your hold was automatic, with no thought out behind the action, but suo’s was genuine, not too tight to crowd you, but firm enough to keep your body in place until you could return to it.
“you’re not stupid, sweetheart. it’s not your fault at all, I’m sorry. please come back to me, my love…”
suo kept you encapsulated in his arms until you melted back into your body, waking up in a place that was warm, soft, and smelled like home. a place that would remain strong and wait for your return, no matter how far away you drifted or how long it took you to come back.
ren kaji was familiar with the art of closing off the world in order to keep himself in check — so when he’d noticed the frantic look in your eyes and the heaving of your chest, he was jumping into action before his mind could even tell him to.
kaji felt stupid for losing his cool the way he did; he wasn’t even sure why he’d been so irritated with you in the first place, but seeing you now, crumpled and trembling, he realized it didn’t matter — what mattered was protecting you from this threat he’d provoked.
kaji pulled his headphones off of his neck and placed them snugly over your ears, slipping the volume of the music down to a medium level — loud enough to block out the world, but quiet enough to easily escape into without becoming overloaded in a sensory sense. your hands still shook, wet with sweat, when he took them into his. thinking purely off of instinct rather than experience, kaji guided your hand to his chest, flattening your palm over his left pec and holding it there.
“focus my heartbeat, baby,” kaji murmured, loud enough for you to hear over the drumming music. “count them, and breathe.”
you followed his instructions, heavy breathing slowly evening out as you closed your eyes and mouthed each count of his heart. when your trembling had ceased and your breathing returned to normal, kaji reached up and gently slid the headphones off of your head. you blinked up at him with red, wet eyes.
“are you okay?” kaji inquired softly, fingers tightening ever so slightly around your hand on his chest. you licked your lips and nodded, staring up at him with a look that was half-sheepish and half-grateful.
“I am,” you croaked. “your heartbeat is very soothing. thank you.”
kaji could feel the heat creeping up his neck, but now wasn’t the time to start swooning over your cuteness; but indulging in a kiss was okay and certainly wouldn’t hurt.
kaji leaned forward and closed his lips around yours, heartbeat slowing as you reciprocated. kaji stroked your lips softly with his for a few seconds before pulling back, keeping only an centimeter of distance between your mouths.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” kaji murmured, guilt gnawing at his chest. but you only smiled and surged up to meet his lips again, sighing softly into his mouth; thank god you forgave him, at least.
jo togame regretted raising his voice in the same instant he did so; and your reaction only drove that thick stake of guilt deeper into his heart.
you flinched harshly and stumbled back a step, your hands flew up to wrap around your torso, and you fixed your body so that your front was turned slightly away from him. a means to protect yourself from him.
togame swallowed thickly and reached a hand out — you flinched once more, and he had to beat back the urge to drop his outstretched arm.
“hey, look at me.” togame drawled slowly, softly, voice barely above a whisper. your bottom lip wobbled in response, and the breath that left your lungs was deep and shuddering. his hand finally reached the meat of your bicep, and he wrapped his fingers around it lightly.
“why?” you asked in a wavering whisper, and togame’s heart cinched. your eyes remained glued to the floor, and togame had no doubt that you were replaying his words on a loop in your head. “why would you want someone like me to look at you? I can’t understand anything, anyway. you said it yourself; I’m too stupid to see where you’re coming from.”
a tear slid down your cheek, wet and glistening and togame reached his other hand up slowly to catch it on his finger before it could slip down your jaw.
“I didn’t mean that, sweetheart. I was just angry—”
“but you’re right.” you suddenly interrupted him. your eyes were cloudy when you turned your head to look at him. “I am stupid. I’m too selfish to see anyone else’s feelings. I’m just not fit for this.”
togame’s heart dropped in his chest; he could see it perfectly clear — these weren’t your words; they were someone else’s, things that had been said to you over and over again, until you had become conditioned to truly believe them. just who had beaten you down to this sort of level?
togame used the hold on your bicep to pull you into him. he cradled your body closely, one arm wrapped over your shoulders and the other wound around your waist. togame hooked his chin over your head, completely encapsulating you within his large frame. the floral scent of your shampoo wafted into his nose and sent his heart fluttering. you were so soft in his arms.
“that’s not true, and I’m not right. I’m so sorry, baby.” togame whispered, bringing his hand up to smooth his palm over the back of your head. he turned his face to the side and planted a firm kiss to your head.
“please don’t ever say those things about yourself. don’t believe them, either. I love you, sweetheart. so much.”
you melted into togame’s body and buried your face into his chest; wet warmth soaked into the front of his shirt, betraying the depth of pain within you. togame held you close as you sobbed, your small arms wrapping around his ribs and squeezing as if he was your only anchor to reality. you were mumbling something, but togame couldn’t decipher the words amidst the croaks and hiccups. he simply hummed and continued to place loving kisses atop your head.
“It’s okay, baby… I’m here… I’ll always be here, baby…”