When I did meta for Chapter 46 I spoke extensively about the reverse dynamic; however, in Chapter 47, Yoneda Kou really brings it home in a way we all didn’t expect. Yashiro is impotent.
Apparently, Yashiro has been impotent for the last four years which, to me, explains a lot. He’s still Yashiro but there’s been something subdued about his character (yes even when he’s wrecking a pet store) it’s more like in the quiet moments, he’s not himself. He’s not the lacivious smug jerk he was in volume one. And that’s because a core coping mechanism that he relies on has been altered.
Let’s dig deeper. Yashiro has responded to the sexual trauma of his youth by being promiscuous and that enables him to avoid feelings. He drives away or fires anyone who gets emotionally close to him and whenever someone even hints at something more than surface level, he brushes it off.
Also, his old trauma has been added to. Let’s not discount how bad things got four years ago. Not only was he shot, he lost the movement in his right arm for a period of time, and he was on the run. THEN he is practically choked to death by Hirata, has his head bashed in with a rock, and loses sight in one eye (also Yashiro not being able to see out of one eye is totally symbolic of him only seeing one side of himself but that’s another entire meta post.) I’m sorry but that would leave anyone shook. Plus (and @saezurumurmurs and I were talking about this on twitter) once you age, you start to feel your mortality strongly. I think Yashiro, nearing 40 and dealing with his death more than once in a short time, was shook down to his core.
Now, let’s couple that with how he felt during sex with Doumeki. Because Doumeki broke through all of Yashiro’s walls. He got close to Yashiro, felt something for Yashiro, and survived all of Yashiro’s lame firings. And Yashiro got emotionally close to him, enough that when Doumeki was in imminent danger, Yashiro broke down in the shower. Doumeki took the initiative once Yashiro’s walls were down (because when does that happen, really? just once before in Tadayoedo?) and proceeded to show Yashiro what true, caring, gentle sex is. And let me tell you, having sex with someone who cares about you is something else. It was so very different than what Yashiro was used to - it fed his soul.
It was the apple that Yashiro took a bite out of, bringing him knowledge that – combined with all the trauma from above – left him bereft. And Yashiro wishes he hadn’t had a taste of that apple because then he wouldn’t know what he was missing. Doumeki truly was forbidden fruit that - once eaten - changed Yashiro’s world.
And even though Yashiro’s mind doesn’t remember Doumeki, Yashiro’s body does and he becomes impotent. It doesn’t stop him though, he still resorts to old patterns, which results in further trauma: in this chapter, during sex with Inami, Yashiro remembers being assaulted and beaten in an alley, and the rough session with Inami – especially now that Doumeki is back in the picture – no longer feels like sex, it feels like what Yashiro experienced at the hands of his uncle.
So for four years Yashiro has been unable to perform, until Chapter 44 when Doumeki holds him in the shower. That’s why Yashiro furiously beats off after their encounter, and once he’s done says “Four years, huh?” aklshalhs And that’s also why in Chapter 46 Doumeki says WERE YOU PENT UP? after their encounter because Yashiro was; he was so pent up that he was daydreaming about kissing (and tbh Doumeki has such swagger now that he’d get anyone up, Yashiro didn’t stand a chance.)
In this chapter, Yashiro runs to Inami to compare how Inami made him feel vs how Doumeki made him feel (and we know who the winner is here.) During sex with Inami Yashiro thinks of Doumeki because now only Doumeki can satisfy him; which is hilarious because before the timeskip, only Yashiro who could get Doumeki up. Clearly, they are made for each other.
But there are some hurdles. After all this time, Doumeki isn’t going to be the one to initiate, to show feelings. That’s on Yashiro now; this relationship won’t move any further unless Yashiro gets in touch with his emotions and admits his love. And stops being so stubborn. Of course, Yashiro isn’t just sleeping with Inami for recreation, he’s also trying to get information - which is exactly what Doumeki told him NOT to do and is classic Yashiro. He was doing this in Chapter 1 so why stop now. In this chapter he’s trying to find out about Okuyama, and when Inami drops Yashiro off back at his building Doumeki is there, wanting to know what is going on. He rudely tells Inami to leave (which I’m dying at btw) and Inami nopes the fuck out of there because he’s not collecting ass beatings. Yashiro is less than pleased. He tells Doumeki that the visit was “just business” and he’s “not a guard dog anymore” and Doumeki is like “well…what about the arrangement” (you know, where you only sleep with me bc you’re a handful and I have to watch that you don’t interfere with our group’s business) and Yashiro answers with “I don’t think I’m going to take you up on that” (because I still want to be in control even though I only respond to you) and Doumeki basically says YOU WILL.
And you know what? Yashiro will because a few times during this chapter we see how Yashiro sees Doumeki. Like when he’s on the cover, all devoted and intense, and here, with a small smile on his face. Despite all his bluster, Yashiro is besotted and it’s only a matter of time until he gives in. His coping mechanism doesn’t work anymore so he can’t keep his feelings bottled up. And if he wants to cope, he needs to use Doumeki.
Can I mention that in certain panels, Doumeki looks like volume one Yashiro? The part of the hair, the self-assured smugness? And Yashiro is more confused, more vulnerable, looking like Doumeki in earlier volumes as well. So we’ve come full circle. And where will we go from here? Hopefully forward. Yoneda Kou is confirmed for the next issue of ihrHertz, so chapter 48 he we come!
-In the first pages of the chapter you see Nanahara watching over Yashiro from a distance when Doumeki takes him away from Inami at the end of chapter 45-beginning of chapter 46. I love that he was lowkey trailing them.
-Which leads to another part of the chapter: SUGIMOTO IS BACK. Our boy is lookin fine and him and Nanahara have a discussion about if Yashiro should be out by himself and/or needs a guard and, for some reason, this time Nanahara isn’t keeping an eye on him. But Doumeki is *fingerguns*
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