anxious little bee

Helen - ace lesbian - she/her

[anxious-little-bee]

You do not need sex to have a fulfilled life

There's so much more, believe me

It's going to be okay

[sweetmisskate]

Being ace and being a lesbian is a very unique experience. Like, I’m exclusively attracted to women. Women are works of Art. But I have no desire to do anything sexual.

I just want to wake up every morning next to my beautiful wife and spend each day getting to hug her and make her coffee every morning and maybe feed chickens together while holding hands. I want to make her bread and bake her favorite pie becuase I love her So Much but I don’t have to have sex with her to make me feel loved.

I feel like love is a hot coffee on a cold day made by your favorite person and when they smile all you want to do is stare forever. The sun could explode and you wouldn’t be able to tell because they’re brighter than the sun anyway.

I know for me the sun is a woman. I don’t want to fuck the sun.

Edit: Trans women are women so like, no TERFs. Y’all already took the word “radical” which was awesome in its own right, y’all don’t get this.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

“i love you” is ❤️❤️❤️ but alsoooo:

- “this made me think of you”

- “i missed you so much”

- “i picked this out for you”

- *plays with hair*

- *swings an arm around you*

- “i’m glad you’re here”

- *tight prolonged hug*

- “i wish i’d met you sooner”

- “i’m in if you are”

- “i saved you a seat”

- “i was just thinking about you”

- “you’re my favorite person”

- “you make me laugh/smile”

- “hey, i appreciate everything you do for me”

*catches them smiling at you or just looking at you endearingly*

[viinnttaaggee]

it takes years to learn the difference between who to let go and who to be patient with. the same way it takes years to know what you deserve and what you don’t. so hang on there, growth and experience come with time.

[viinnttaaggee]

it takes years to learn the difference between who to let go and who to be patient with. the same way it takes years to know what you deserve and what you don’t. so hang on there, growth and experience come with time.

[anxious-little-bee]

Things I miss :

- holding your hand and you rubbing my thumb

- your smell

- the softness of your hair

- the way you looked at me

- how unique, important and loved you made me feel

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

not sure why but i really love when someone leans their head against my shoulder or when i get to lean my head against someone’s shoulder

[anxious-little-bee]

One of the moments that hinted me to my asexuality is when I first kissed my girlfriend and and couldn't help but laugh because it was so embarrassing and I felt none of the things I thought I would... can anyone relate to this ?

[tacobellebandit]

Honestly whenever I'd kiss my ex, it felt like a purely performative act. Like I felt nothing from it, it just felt like a thing I should do as part of a romantic relationship. Just trying to be a good girlfriend and I thought I loved him.

And earlier on when I was about 12/13 I kissed my friend because we were curious about kissing and specifically kissing other girls, and it was honestly a big nothing burger.

But yeah I can relate.

[anxious-little-bee]

It really means a lot to me that other people can relate to this

Thanks ♡

[mythicalcoolkid]

Asexuality is weird because you’ll be 12 going “wow why are people my age concerned about sex we’re just kids” and then you’re 16 going “wow why are people my age concerned about sex we’re just kids” and then you’re an adult suddenly realizing that other people are attracted to people and want to have sex with them and that’s the normal thing at that age and you’re like oh maybe it’s me

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

You’re never obligated to have sex. You never owe someone sex.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

You can still want to look attractive even if you don’t want to date or have sex.

[anxious-little-bee]

One of the moments that hinted me to my asexuality is when I first kissed my girlfriend and and couldn't help but laugh because it was so embarrassing and I felt none of the things I thought I would... can anyone relate to this ?

[spacemancharisma]

I just wanted to remind everyone that you can identify as asexual without being hyperspecific about how you experience sexuality. you don’t have to defend your specific orientation to anyone. while the ability to say “I’m type (xyz) ace” is good for some people, it’s not necessary. you can identify as ace or gray-ace without any modifiers. you can tell your own story in your own words.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Prioritizing your own mental well-being is more important than people in your life you who don’t fully accept you, or who tear you down. You’re not doing anything wrong by choosing to walk away from those people.

[anxious-little-bee]

I often hear ace/aro people saying they finally found what was "wrong" with them in discovering these terms and I just want to take a moment to remind everyone : there is NOTHING wrong with you. You're fine. You're great actually, because you are no longer lying to yourself and hurting yourself. It's okay.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

You don’t have to stop identifying as questioning if you don’t want to. Questioning can be a permanent label.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Not wanting to have sex is a valid reason to identify as ace. Not wanting romance or a romantic relationship is a valid reason to identify as aromantic.

Not wanting sex and/or romance can be your only reason for identifying as a-spec if you want it to be.