Anxiety Thought Dump

I needed somewhere to dump the obsessive thoughts in my head. It's public so that I don't feel so alone.

[anxiousrewriter]

I can’t say, what I need to say

Coz the law, doesn’t work in that way

Unreasonable doubt led me to you

That’s what dating’s all about when you’re new

I’m sorry I didn’t know

That when you raped me, I should have moaned

I’m sorry that the police didn’t see

How you threatened, choked, and belittled me

I guess it’s on me

The tears of hope, are salting the wounds

The pressure to cope, is flooding the room

A daylight hour and a whisper there

Is midnight to, the realm of fear

It’s here.

[anxiousrewriter]

"The Void has never been kind you know. Not to anyone, nor anything in coalition to it. The old god could see a part of the Void which is hidden to most, even that of myself you know... It consumes, always holding an athirst, yet never satisfied no matter how much it consumes. It is waiting you know... I just happen to be yet another pawn in its massive game, and you have no idea what it is in store- do you?" Source: https://www.deviantart.com/eneada/art/The-Outsider-782602749

[unaverage-confessions]

Therapist: “Are you experiencing any suicidal thoughts?”

Me:

[anxiousrewriter]

I know what it's like I know how it feels Let the pain break you down now You gotta give it time to heal Don't worry now Even though the fear is real Just hold on

Love Is The Answer, Natalie Taylor

[anxiousrewriter]

for a minute

[lena-luthor]

All mankind needs to become the monster he truly is, is being told he can, and when this world has burned, there will be no one… no one but you and me, sister.

[anxiousrewriter]

[anxiousrewriter]

I tried to fight.l I succeeded in fighting. But then the nightmares came. The pain, the flashbacks... the headaches, the strangling, the pressure..... and I fell... again.

[anxiousrewriter]

Laura McKowen’s 9 Things she needed to hear as an addict

1. It is not your fault. 2. It is your responsibility. 3. It is unfair that this is your thing. 4. This is your thing. 5. This will never stop being your thing until you face it. 6. You cannot do it alone. 7. Only you can do it. 8. I love you. 9. I will never stop reminding you of these things. 

[iamktb13-deactivated20210915]

[anxiousrewriter]

Life

Dumped. Raped. Intensive Care Unit following Suicide Attempt. Hospital. Suicide Attempt. Hospital. 3 month old death. Funeral. Suicide Attempt. Hospital. Dumped by Rape Counsellor.............. and here I am. Suicide. Fuck I hope no “attempt” is recorded this time.

[anxiousrewriter]

Getting tired of not being enough or of being too much.

[anxiousrewriter]

[anxiousrewriter]

Monster/Lover

There’s a monster in my bed In my head

Am I dead?

 There’s a monster in my room

In my womb

Am I doomed?

 He breaks every part of me

I numb out my mind

I let him every time

My throat collapses

I can’t say no

So I guess that means I’m fine

 There’s a man in my bed

In my heart

I’m torn apart

 There’s a man in my room

In my soul

Forever, until I’m grey and old

 He breaks every part of me

I numb out my mind

I let him every time

My throat collapses

I can’t say no

So I guess that means I’m fine

[anxiousrewriter]

I am Wrath.

[anxiousrewriter]

I’m doing the worst fucking job at this. I think I’m still waiting for someone else...

[anxiousrewriter]

The Alcoholic

She screams. She screams so loud that anyone should be able to hear it. But here they are; oblivious. Alcohol helps the freeness, the flight, the creativity, the fun. It isn’t until the hangover that regrets occur. Until the illness passes and then the cravings become unbearable again.