Drink That Salsa

I’m the Science Teacher from the Black Lagoon.

[templetv-deactivated20260211]

hey can you come over and surgically remove this heavy, aching rot from my heart? we can watch a movie afterwards

[villaderogifs]

jane villanueva + telling her love interests that she’s a virgin

[depsidase]

[sleepystrawberrybunny]

[tooies]

reblog and put in the tags what your childhood password that you just stuck with is!

[looseinthecatroom]

[depsidase]

[chekhovs-slinky]

“We didn’t have all this autism when I was a kid”

Yea, you had changelings and demonic possession and “brats” and “back talk”, and kids that were “not all there”, your aunt who’s “crazy”, and your second cousin no one ever talks about cuz he’s “special”, and if you’re fucking lucky, your elder uncle who lives a nice quiet life with his 70 lego sets and writes grocery stores about changing the light bulbs cuz they’re too harsh.

[fridakahloblvd]

not to put this user on blast, but ohmygod this may be the funniest thing i’ve ever seen 😭😭

[willgrahamscock]

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

[the44th]

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

[liarsblade]

It's so obvious that a lot of people on here are inexplicably convinced that bad books are a recent invention

[vacuously-true]

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

[nudityandnerdery]

[southfarthing]

[parakeet]

if you go looking for doom and gloom all you will see is doom and gloom. if you go looking for reduced items at the grocery store you may find a littol treat

[segamascott]

[segamascott]

[steadynursewizard]

This is the closest thing to a smile I've ever seen this man do for media

[ssoupcup]

Yeah so unfortunately, my friend was right. Muttering 'I'm gonna put on the greatest talent show this town has ever seen' darkly to myself is not only vastly funnier than saying I'm gonna kms, but is also somehow more concerning to anyone who might overhear it

[kushblazer666]

[vexwerewolf]

I love that this post doesn't include the actual text of his tweet, just his impending presence. This is the visual equivalent of a scare chord.

[mingpicket]

kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the post from the same person they did

[yzghuldar]

I mean, that’s censorship but okay.

[nutsacktorturer]

ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw

[king-of-the-freeway]

[honeyluvsw]

── ✶ CAMERA DIVIDERS !

please credit ; like & reblog to use, thanks <3

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

in almost every other children's book where the main heroine is swept away to a land of whimsy she's shown having a lovely time; braving dangers occasionally, trying to find her way home, sure, but ultimately delighting in the magic around her. meanwhile alice spends her entire time in wonderland like

[roach-works]

look, here’s the thing: alice in wonderland’s enduring fucking charm is that it perfectly captures the vibe of being a very tired and annoyed child who is nonetheless required to play along with adult nonsense.

alice is dragged from place to place without warning, forced to play stupid games with no good prizes, grilled over her schooling and manners and recitation and dress, scolded, judged, insulted to her face, sent away, given gifts she didn’t ask for and doesn’t like, corrected incorrectly, been subject to shifting and arbitrary rules, and then when she gets snappish with all this bullshit everyone acts like a little girl’s temper is the end of the fucking world.

alice in wonderland isn’t a drug trip or a nightmare or a metaphor, that’s just what being ten years old is LIKE. that’s why kids love it so much. even if they can’t quite articulate how, they recognize themselves in it.

[trans-pickles]

I'm gonna go ahead and add - the reaction image is barely even a joke. This is the original illustration of her at the Mad Hatter's tea party.

look at how fucking angry she is

[marzipanandminutiae]

"19th century child points out what a load of bullshit expectations for 19th century children were" is the most enduring type of 19th century children's book for a reason 

[ouroborosorder]

(forgetting the word “touchscreen”) my mom’s new car has an amazing digital surface

[cloudabserk]

i have a job interview in 2 minutes i’m gonna cry

[cloudabserk]

this is what i saw immediately after leaving the interview. do you guys think it’s a good omen

[moveslikekeithrichards]

got cornflakes for fried chicken & the back of the box has its own recipe. easy as pie. "rinse chicken tenders with cold water and coat with crushed kelloggs corn flakes cereal." and then cook. no binding agent. no seasoning. nothing but a pile of flavorless chicken with a side of the extra-dried-out cornflakes that fell off it. serve warm with your favorite dipping sauce. doesnt even say serve hot. Serve Warm. wouldnt wanna get too wild with it. truly this is the spirit of cornflakes

[memento-mariii]