Illustrator with a Simple blog

Call me Apple or Snapple. Im a legal adult. I'm into anything CLAMP, and love K-on. I'm willing to talk anything, I've also experienced everything so ask for advice. I got your back

[wizardnuke]

not to be a history fucker on main but the whole mystery of the lost colony of roanoke is so fucking funny

[wizardnuke]

governor of the colony: hey I’m gonna go back to england to get more supplies

115 colonists: okay

governor: ends up spending 3 years in england bc of a naval war with spain or some shit

governor: gets back to the colony to find everyone gone

governer: sees the word “croatoan”, the name of a native american tribe, carved into a post

croatoan tribe: has members and children with blonde hair/blue eyes, pale skin

everyone: what could have happened to the colonists of roanoke

[chotimoti]

[wizardnuke]

hi! op here. I’m fucking hyperventilating

[zombie-eats-world]

This video does a good job laying out why this is the most probable explanation for their ‘disappearance’ also why no one’s ever been in a hurry to solve the mystery.

[notreewaits-deactivated20200806]

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

[llywela13]

I don’t think I’d realised how many casual compliments we pay to our toddler until she started casually complimenting us back, because experience has taught her that’s How Social Interaction Is Done, and there’s nothing quite like a very earnest three-year-old solemnly and sincerely informing you that you look wonderful and smell nice to make you feel really good about yourself

I tell her she’s my best girl. She tells me I’m her best auntie. Then we both feel good about the world!

[ladyofatraditionalkind]

Teach them kindness.

[blackqueerblog]

I know exactly which name I’m avoiding in the polls

[rashemibabe]

This is extremely important to acknowledge. Please acknowledge it.

[beenwandering]

help I’m having emotions about a cartoon antidepressant trying to be useful

[1-800-ass-butt-blog]

DID YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY GIF AN ABILIFY COMMERCIAL 

[kdaziz]

yes but look at it, it cares about her and just wants to help her be able to function. It’s like “I know you’re sad. here, I’ll help you.”

[mcgonagirl]

LIKE OKAY THOUGH can I explain why this is exceedingly brilliant??  Because when anti-depressants work right, that’s what they DO.  They don’t make you happy or emotionless or unhealthy in any way, they make you FUNCTIONAL.  They make it so that a depressed person who can barely get out of bed can start to support themselves again and more importantly, start to THINK for themselves again without the permeating presence of depression.

Depression is a cyclical disease, that tells you to think a certain way, and, because you’re depressed, you generally believe it, and then things get worse and worse.  The ONLY thing anti-depressants do is to STOP that cycle in its tracks!!  Which is something to be ecstatic about and celebrated, even if you don’t realize it at the time, because when you’re depressed, getting out of bed is climbing Mount Everest.  Antidepressants help stop that cycle so that one day soon, getting out of bed can JUST be getting out of bed.  They don’t even expedite the recovery process in most cases, they just make recovery POSSIBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE.  So this little guy is portrayed with a fuckton more accuracy than I ever expected from a commercial.

[metalheadswaltzing]

It’s back and adorable

[dontforgetyourmedstoday]

Don’t forget your meds today.

want twice daily reminders to take your medications? Follow @dontforgetyourmedstoday

[shoeboxgoblin]

Wonder Woman was a great movie for equal opportunity eye candy.

Straight guys and gay girls can enjoy gal gadot in armor.

Gay guys and straight girls can enjoy a mostly naked Chris pine

Bi/pan people get to enjoy both

And if you’re ace like me, well. She threw a tank with her bare hands, and that’s as good as it gets

[illogical-bullshit]

I really like this post.

[j-the-latter-gay-saint]

I was thinking about a bunch of stuff and WOW the growing insistence of some church leaders that God's love is in fact conditional makes me livid!! If God's love is conditional, then that means that He has children that He doesn't love, or can stop loving, and that's completely antithetical to everything I've been taught and come to know for myself is God's nature! All over the scriptures, Jesus and the prophets teach that we're required to love everyone around us, whether they love us back or not, whether they treat us well or not, whether we like them or not, whether they do something we don't like or not. Why, then, does God hold us to a standard that He apparently doesn't even hold Himself to?

Elder Oaks has been the biggest proponent of God's love being conditional when previously his whole shtick was "We can disagree with people and still love them" (said "disagreement" always being a dogwhistle referring to queer rights and identity, feminism, political views, etc). So what changed for him? Is it too cynical of me to speculate that it was all the queers and women pushing back against hate from the pulpit by taking refuge in God's love?

"Jesus Said Love Everyone," you taught me to sing as a child. "God Is Love," we sing in the pews. You cannot believe that God is our perfect Father and simultaneously claim that He can withhold love from His children.

[pajamaslam-deactivated20190101]

the switch from ‘a girl worth fighting for’ to coming upon the decimated village in mulan is THE MOST kick-in-the-teeth mood change IN ALL OF CINEMA

[furikomaru-deactivated20190920]

That scene shift did more for our generation’s understanding of the horror of war in ten seconds than Game of Thrones did in eight seasons, and it did it without showing us a single dead body. 

[genresavvygentleman]

OKAY BUT HOLD ON THOUGH.

I’ve spent the past… five? Let’s say five - the past five years analyzing the structure of Disney Musicals as part of the process to write my own/a parody of them, and the thing is that all the modern ones have roughly the same number of songs - except Mulan.

Mulan has about half, because after AGWFF ends with that unresolved final phrase, there are no more songs until the end credits, which isn’t even sung in-universe.

Mulan wasn’t even the REALM of fucking around - when they arrive at that village, when the true horrors of war are brought into the story, not only does it interrupt THAT song, it breaks the entire fucking mold - the movie’s damn genre changes; it is no longer a musical.

And the Huns represent this from the start - Jafar and Hades are notable for not having proper villain songs, but Jafar does get his Prince Ali refrain and Hades and his plan get sung ABOUT by the muses. No scene with the Huns has any singing, they are mentioned once in song (the second line of Man, natch), and they of all Disney Villains are probably the most serious - no jokes, no witty asides, no sassy delivery of dry humor. The Huns are an invading army who plan to straight up kill a fuckton of people, including children, and AGWFF’s sudden end is the moment when our happy go lucky MUSICAL protagonists finally come in contact with them and their work directly - and it breaks them. Because shit like the Huns cannot exist in happy go lucky musical world. They just exist in our world. The real world. And you can’t sing your problems away here.

The end of A Girl Worth Fighting For is a brilliant use of metanarrative sensibilities to convey a message. It is utterly perfect.

[narwhalsarefalling]

fun fact

im weirdly knowlagable in the history of soda i dont even drink soda why do i know so much about it

[narwhalsarefalling]

coke and pepsi taste different because coke was invent before refrigeration so it was designed to be drunk warm, while pepsi was designed after refrigeration was invented so it was designed to be drunk cold. as a result the tastes are different but if you drink pepsi cold and coke warm theyll taste the same.

[yoon-ity]

Why the fuck do you know this

[narwhalsarefalling]

i honestly have no idea

coke’s recipe was originally green but the designers made it brown so it looked more like tea

[squirrelstone]

Had they never seen green tea?

[narwhalsarefalling]

i dont even know if green tea was invented in 1886 but they wanted to make the public more open to eating the fizzy drink

[gostaks]

Green tea was invented in the 13th century and made up 22% of the tea thrown off the ship in the Boston Tea Party 

[narwhalsarefalling]

alan i know about soda not green tea

[cheap-pink-mints]

i will trade u information abt bees and carrier pigeons for information abt the history of soda

[narwhalsarefalling]

no one knows where the origin of the name ‘7up’ started but it did have a mood stabilizer in the original recipe found in present day anti-depressants

i want facts about bees and carrier pigeons now

[cheap-pink-mints]

Carrier pigeons come from a species of Wild Rock pigeon, and their flights could be as long as 1800 km and were used as early as 3000 years ago. 

You know in old cartoons where a character throws a beehive at someone, and you think ‘lol, but that wouldn’t work in real life’. Turns out it would, and did. People used to lob beehives at the approximate location of the enemy forces to expose them. 

[narwhalsarefalling]

this is amazing thank you

[localtiktoks]

[xiaolapcheong-deactivated201806]

how come humans don’t lick to show affection

[chloeniccole]

lesbians do! 

[gay-and-happy-that-way]

I spat out my drink

[goawfma]

never gets old

[ankle-beez]

oh

[ankle-beez]

Turning 6 and immediately hating barney the dinosaur is a childhood rite of passage so to say the least I'm curious to see how they'll tackle this befuddling multi-million dollar motion picture

[ankle-beez]

are we just. in the fucking twilight zone now

[the-shy-lonely-weirdo]

I want Barney to have existential dread over that fact there there are people out there who absolutely HATE OTHER PEOPLE for no reason.

I want to see Barney go through depression and have a big character building moment and come back from his hopeless outlook on the world and find reason to love again.

[kyonite]

this is the perfect grade of good luck

reblog in 5 seconds and all of your grades will inch ever closer to perfect

[catchymemes]

[deergirlslut]

you ever think a post is going to be like, surprise! It was the plot of a movie the whole time! And then reality is just actually that wild. Wild.

[ultimatespider]

#same energy

[anxietyproblem]

[annabellelux]

i feel personally called out

[rhymeswithbacon]

[brunhiddensmusings]

remember when lake eerie kept getting set on fire? the lake was so badly polluted the water was flamable really, what are you supposed to put it out with?