Too Lazy for Pajamas

Bold of you to assume I’m describable

[1percentcharge]

I met Alex Hirsch today and he drew a little picture in my sketchbook

[1percentcharge]

[mcelquotes]

Justin: Are we out of the zone of truth? Griffin: Yeah, yeah. You’re far away from it. Taako: Everything’s gonna be fine.

[chillyfeetsteak]

[chillyfeetsteak]

guy who lives with me

[chillyfeetsteak]

yeah

[chillyfeetsteak]

you have a problem with my rabbit's large, veiny, fleshy ear, tumblr??

[the-haiku-bot]

you have a problem

with my rabbit’s large, veiny,

fleshy ear, tumblr??

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[valdevia]

Help! My dog keeps hunting these little animals in my yard. I don't know if this is an endangered species. Anyone has tips on how to stop dogs from doing this?

[thewitheringgnome]

WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP POSTING GORE?!?!? I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!! THANK GOODNESS MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE WORKS FULL TIME KILLING THE FOUL HOUNDS OF HER KIND OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE BEEN TURNED TO POWDER BY NOW.

[valdevia]

help i got stuck in gnome tumblr again

[johannestevans]

Children near a magical wood catching bugs and their family are like. Please do not catch pixies and small fae and bring them into our home. They are sentient and they are intelligent

And the kids are like "but they get into our bug traps" and "we didn't catch him he followed us home"

And their parents are like. Please i do not believe that 6 fucking pixies smuggled themselves into our garage on the underside of your bicycle saddle and then set up shop in the old dolls house. These are living beings they're not toys it's not kind to treat them like this

And the kids are like we are NOT treating them like anything you said we're not allowed to trap them and they always get into our traps so we always run away when they see us and then they follow us and get inside our backpacks and stuff

And the parents are like

Stop lying!!!

And then they set up wildlife cams and not only can pixies apparently do all of that and are very desperate to hang out with these human kids (who have fun life-sized toys and are covered in wonderful things like glitter and are a free source of fresh bugs and pop tart crumbs)

But they can also like. Fully just pick locks and shit.

Setting up little cameras and having to come to terms with the fact that not only are these small fae initiating every interaction with the kids but have also taken their cat's side in the war against pigeons and keep riding it into battle

[doccyuk]

The fae quickly realise the camera is a camera, and just as quickly invent silent movies

Each intertitle card has been crafted from words cut out of other writing, so a piece of paper looking like a ransom demand states "BuT Hoo wil SAVE the Dams3l?" is pulled away to reveal a doll tied to train tracks

[fluxxdog]

[ex-riddlecats]

does anybody else have a discord server thats only yourself and nobody else exclusively used to send images from your mobile phone to your tablet or computer

[zmeess]

commission for @icenineporcupine, their characters Rio, a human artificer/warlock, and Hennie, firbolg wizard/blood-hunter! thank you for commissioning me ❤️

commission info/contacts commission tag headshot | half-body | full-body

[rfskia]

[writers-solace]

I don't think Tolkien is a good fantasy writer because he scored the highest at some objective Best Fantasy Book Test that every fantasy writer has to take, I think he's a good fantasy writer because he created a world based on things that he was interested in. I feel like a lot of fantasy writers think that they need to create a whole language for their world because Tolkien did and obviously his books are the best so they have to emulate him, but Tolkien did that because he was a linguistics nerd. I think the lesson to be learned from him is not that you have to include elves and deep history and new languages, but that you have to write endlessly about the things you are a huge nerd about and use those things to create your fantasy world

[decapod-of-the-day]

am currently very tired and very hungry and bracing for exams and i almost just typed 'crabs' as 'crasp'.

love this animals. the crasp

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

[qi-mera]

More of you need to learn about these ☝️

[jadenebula]

[byjove]

Someone mentioned how they were having a hard time creating a world for their fantasy fiction geographically because they kept reinventing the island of Britain, which also happened to my good close enemy George R. R. Martin. I would like to suggest North Carolina. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous but North Carolina has an awesome geographic setup for a fantasy kingdom, I think. Inhospitable barrier islands, constantly shifting shoals in the sound, swamps with alligators, venomous snakes and carnivorous plants, lots of very flat and somewhat sparsely populated farmland, foothills, mines, mountains full of mysterious phenomenon that were originally very difficult to navigate and people still get lost in today. It kind of rocks.

[the-ice-queen-623]

AND VENUS FLYTRAPS ARE NATIVE TO THE CAROLINAS!

[byjove]

There are actually 36 carnivorous plant species native to North Carolina, roughly half of all carnivorous plant species in the United States are found in North Carolina! I added the carnivorous plant detail because that’s something I love about the state. We have so many fucking bugs that the plants keep evolving to eat them.

I love that giant man eating Venus flytraps are worldbuilding staples in untamed tropical fantasy settings but they’re actually native to a small region in the Carolinas.

[ibedressin]

Happy Black Fae Day!

I did this as part of a collaboration post with many other wonderful black creatives over on IG. My theme was Warrior Fairy.

Creative Direction and editing by me

Shot by @sachinteng 🥰

[bambicest]

some people really do need to start reminding themselves that the answer to "why didn't the character just do [something entirely different]" is often simply "because then there wouldn't be a story"

[bulkhummus]

in a world where we get to see stratt tried for her crimes, she would see to it that grace was up first on the stand to testify against her

[stormsbourne]

one day it'll happen to you. you will stay up a bit too late playing a video game and not get to bed on time. I've done it before, you'll think. I'll be fine. but no. you will make it through most of the next day and then at about 2pm you will feel like a reanimated corpse whose sim meters are all completely fucked and nothing hurts exactly but everything does feel very bad. and you'll think oh yeah. I'm not twenty anymore