[apthys-arch]

IM MOVING

new main is fauxeye.tumblr.com

[apthys-arch]

IM MOVING

new main is fauxeye.tumblr.com

I'll make another apthys though.

[wumblr]

did they ever track down the baby born at dashcon?

[wumblr]

you know, the dashcon baby… the baby born in the ballpit at dashcon

[the-worm-man]

what

[brokenbloodymolars]

Th e

What

[wumblr]

the dashcon baby

[aberrantemotion]

at dashcon, a late term pregnant lady (there for a writing panel i believe) arrived, and while going around the “event”, her water broke around 2 months earlier than expected, and began to go into labour, there was a huge traffic jam because of, you know, and driving to the hospital was out of the question, so they called an ambulance. But the thing is, because of the traffic jam, it took over 40 minutes, and she was going into labour NOW. A nurse in training there took over and had to deal with the woman, so they took the ballpit, being the best thing they could think of in the mostly empty area, cleared some of the balls away, and had to use that as a surface to deliver the baby. Around 5 minutes before they got there, they managed to deliver the baby, (thankfully) in a safe state.

[wumblr]

great post everybody

[aberrantemotion]

I helped!

[callmebliss]

[paper-mario-wiki]

holy shit Long Long Man is gay i had no idea

[paper-mario-wiki]

for context:

this is a series of gummy commercials where it looks like the girlfriend is cheating on the boyfriend with this dashing dude who has longer gummies than him, and at the conclusion of the series of commercials after they get married and long man comes to the wedding it looks like the wife is going to leave with him but then long man confesses his love for the husband.

i love it.

[nixotinn]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZsJyCyGBSI

it’s a ride

[therearetoomanythingstodo]

Okay can we just-

Japan is incredibly homophobic.

Yaoi is literally just a thing for people to get off to in Japan, not rep.

If I come out to my Japanese family I will never be allowed to step foot into family things ever again.

That said.

This stupid, silly little comercial means so fucking much. They literally used a wedding scene. In a place where gay marriage is illegal.

I’m feelings.

[cartoonpolitics]

(cartoon by Phil Hands)

[naidje]

alchemy

[allsadnshit]

what does this mean 

[argonphoenix-moved-deactivated2]

oh i saw an explanation for this on twitter! the mentos and coke are to suck all the oxygen out of the water, which forces the catfish to the surface because it Can’t Fucking Breathe. not really sure what the egg is for. 

as a southerner, i don’t see the appeal in wasting good coke instead of shoving your hand inside and hoping to god there isn’t a copperhead or snapping turtle in there, but maybe this hole is particularly deep to preserve water during the dry season.

[love-to-love-puppies]

I cannot express how uncomfortable this makes me so I’m sharing it will all of you

[uncle-beanbag]

I love this

[captain-price-official]

Why is there a catfish just in some random hole

[ecchifortheplot]

[sindri42]

Context:

The lady is a succubus, which in this setting is mostly human but with superpowered pheromones that passively make humans aroused just by being in the same room and essentially drug people out of their minds if she touches them directly. [The effect is so strong that there’s an entire government agency devoted to observing (from a long distance) all known succubi to make sure they aren’t starting suicide cults or going on murder-rape binges or whatever.] This causes her a variety of problems in life; she has to get up extremely early and stay at work late to take mostly-empty trains in order to avoid being in a crowded metal box full of humans, for example. But worst is her nonexistent love life, because how can you ever be confident that somebody has genuine romantic feelings for you if you’re supernaturally attractive to everybody? Is it ever morally acceptable to have sex if holding hands is effectively a date-rape drug? 

The guy is a perfectly ordinary biology teacher, who crashed into her in the halls on his first day and got a huge dose of aphrodisiac. But she is a Respected Colleague so it would be Highly Unprofessional to think of her that way, not to mention how Inappropriate it would be for a high school teacher to do or say anything while there might be students around, and wait a minute wouldn’t treating her differently just because of her biology be Super Racist? so obviously it is his Duty to act Perfectly Normal and pretend that he Feels Nothing.

She sees that he seems to have no reaction, and this sparks her interest. Is he immune to her powers? Clearly this requires further investigation! For entirely scientific purposes, not because if he falls for her he’d be the first guy she could trust to do so for legitimate non-chemical reasons (and totally not because she might be able to bone him without feeling bad about it).

So you’ve got the world’s dorkiest succubus clumsily trying to seduce this guy and he’s trying very hard to drink enough Respect Women juice to make up for over half his blood travelling south every time he sees her. Then for added fun several of their students catch on to these shenanigans and they ship it so they decide to “help”.

[switch-up-snowfox]

you know I can respect that premise.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Martin Shkreli's appeal denied

Martin Shkreli, trollish ex-CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals, who became infamous in 2015 when he jacked up the price of an HIV medication 5,000%, received some unpleasant news today, reports CNBC. The Supreme Court rejected his request for an appeal of his securities fraud conviction. That means he’s going to have to serve the rest of his 7-year sentence and forfeit his $6.4 million fine.

While his fraud case was pending, Shkreli won the hearts of Trumpsters when he put a bounty on a strand of hair from Hillary Clinton’s head. His tweet did not get his desired result, though. Instead, the judge revoked his bail and locked him behind bars for the remainder of the trial.

https://boingboing.net/2019/11/18/martin-shkrelis-appeal-denie.html

[wilwheaton]

LOL oh my god this piece of shit. I’d completely forgotten about this smug, sociopathic, pigtfucker. Die broke, alone, and afraid, Martin.

[heaveninawildflower]

Day and Night stained glass windows (1897–1900). Designer and executant: William Glasby (1863–1941) Henry Holiday Studio, Hampstead.

Images and text courtesy The Metropolitan Museum of Art.     

http://www.metmuseum.org/collection/the-collection-online/search/207692?rpp=30&pg=16&ao=on&ft=stained+glass&pos=468

[comicsodissey]

Jedi Cat Meme

[iamthebestby2ne1]

[assassinationtipsforladies]

This has Massive Bollocking from Mam and possibly Granny written all over it

[knitmeapony]

“In a very serious and real ceremony”

[ed-longshanks]

[dashaibo]

If you serve me my food like that, I'm going to summon the spirits of all the poor people you gentrified out of this area to haunt you until you learn to cook like a normal person.

[thejdblog]

First Look at The Gang of Mystery Inc, in the Movie “Scoob”.

It looks like this is going to be good!! 🐶👻

[racheldrawsthis]

OH GOD ITS HAPPENING ITS RLL Y HAPPENING OH NO

[whitepeopletwitter]

[suzcatonmars]

This is Money Freddie here to bless you with good fortune this November

[physicalkideliot]

Well… if anything is going to bless me it’d be Freddie Mercury

[arctic-hands]

Money Mercury

[argumate]

Carbon dioxide levels in Earth’s atmosphere reach ‘highest level in 800,000 years’

WE USED TO HAVE HIGHER CARBON DIOXIDE LEVELS

[infraredarmy]

true reactionaries believe in accelerating global warming until earth is as hot as it was shortly after it formed

[argumate]

we can, will, and must reabsorb the moon

[wlwhobbits]

Hey instead of a Harry Potter world there should be a lord of the rings world where it’s super immersive and you’re given a sword when you enter the world and giant spiders chase you and the elf actors eat dirt and offer you some

[villainous-queer-deactivated202]

can we befriend and/or flirt with the giant spiders asking for a friend

[metgala2018]

It’s you’re adventure you can do whatever you want but watch out!

[gonebynow]

HI, THIS EXISTS, IT’S CALLED EVERMORE PARK, IT’S IN PLEASANT GROVE, UTAH

it’s more of a DND park but it’s fantasy and characters give you quests and when you finish quests they give you a tarot card with the characters on it

The town functions as a real-time story with a plot and everybody has backstory and movie-quality makeup and shit 

Guys I’ve been and it’s fucking unbelievable

[metgala2018]

[evilwriter37]

I WANT TO GO