♠| ARA |♠

[viinnttaaggee]

goofiness is so attractive to me. If you can keep me laughing , you got me forever

[viralfrog]

[darkmatch]

[the-taintedtruth]

Maybe it won’t work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever.

(via myunfathomable-serendipity)

[dark-waves]

[thenamesjavii]

When you find out your mom is a furry

[transpondster]

[thecommonchick]

[archiemcphee]

[gahdamnpunk]

I didn’t know I needed this, maybe you do too 💕💕

[theanimalmemes]

Pain makes you stronger, tears make you braver, and heartbreaks make you wiser, so thank the past for a better future.

@sexual-texts (via sexual-texts)

[love]

by Abby Madison

[pine-and-cavill]

Chris Pine plays kiss, marry and kill. Chrises Edition.

[darksilveraster]

the correct answer now i’m picturing Chris Pine three times widowed wearing his black veil and his fur coat

[bigguysrus]

[ironicbs]

I will always reblog this.

[moderatelysociallymaladjusted]

Wtf chris

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

show up. buss it open. leave immediately.

[daglout]

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[icouldwritebooks]

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

[crimeronan]

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

[agrestenoir]

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

[gin-and-eschatonic]

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

[harold-theyre-thespians]

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

[narwhalsarefalling]

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

[wren-likethe-bird]

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

[la-mancha-screwjob]

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

[fair-itself]

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

[maplefiasco]

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

[iamthatbeast]

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

[crazy-mafioso]

I work in IT and answer the phone with ‘’ Support Center, Jessica speaking.’’ every time. One day, I wasn’t even working that day, I opened the door to call the dog and let him in and it went like this. Open door - yell ‘’ Support Center, Jessica speaking - closed door and sat on the floor blinking for a solid minute. My mother was laughing her ass off though.

[b99thingsv2]

[nolookfive]

happy may 18th!

[izzy-hands]

side by side, forever. 

[wreckitrhino]

If you can’t handle me at my

You don’t deserve me at my