We’ve thrown a lot at you, especially about Etho. You say you love him, does he love you? More importantly, does that love equate to trust?
Thinking love and trust have to be hand-in-hand is the kind of thing you can afford in lines of work that aren't yours. Thinking love and trust have to be hand-in-hand is the kind of thing that someone with a nicer life than yours can do. It's not something you can do. Trust, and love, and everything in-between; they're luxuries, really.
Etho is hiding things from you, is what you mean. Of course he is. He's hiding things from everyone, all the time. He tries to keep his work and personal life separate, for one, but for another, he just chronically lies. Doesn't like to let his heart out to anyone. Makes sure that a stranger can't tell what they're looking at, and his friends have an even worse time of it.
Here are some things you have only learned about Etho today:
That he has a friend named Impulse.
That he's visited Tango's house before.
Here are some things that are true about Etho anyway:
He has painkillers in his glove box; the first time he gave you them was a day after the last time you had to do one of these stupid experiments. He's never admitted why he has them.
You have watched him kill a man with a knife.
He has watched you do the same thing.
In the middle of the night, one time, he told you he was scared.
You'd have to be stupid not to know.
He took a bullet for you once.
Here is something that is true about you:
Etho isn't the only person keeping secrets, you know.
So. Trust? You aren't an idiot. Trust is the wrong word for what you feel about Etho. Love, though--
Well, the thing is, you'd like to think it goes both ways. You're not sure how else to describe it. You'd go crazy if it didn't.
That's really all there is to it.