miles “who’s morales” morales’s biggest weakness is the cover story
peter, lying out of his ass: i was, uh, married to his uncle aaron. he just never let you know
Jefferson, later: Do you think Aaron never told us because Peter’s…
Rio: …Tall
Jefferson: I didn’t think Aaron liked … Tall people.
Jefferson: “But listen: Aaron might have married a white boy just to annoy me, specifically. It’s a thing he would do!”
Rio: “I can’t hear you. I’m asleep. I have a shift in four hours.”
I really wish there was a way Uncle Aaron lived and came back to meet his “husband” at some point now.
Aaron: …Miles…I love you, and I am proud of you…but you are somehow the smartest and dumbest boy I have ever known.
Miles: Says the man who used his big brain to become a criminal when he could’ve been a black Tony Stark with that gear he made. And thought working for the Kingpin, who everyone knows will throw his minions away like tissues, was a good idea!
Peter: He makes a good point, babe, you did kind of mess up first–
Aaron: Call me babe again and see what happens. I’ll whoop you with a collapsed lung.
All I see is “fake marriage au, but it’s also enemies to lovers”
If I ever stop reblogging this post, assume that I have yeeted myself off this mortal coil
Miles: Peter I think we can stop pretending you’re gay, my parents already know I’m Spider-Man.
Peter: Who said anything about pretending?
Miles: What! You can’t do that! You’re supposed to be Spider-Man, not my gay uncle.
Peter: Well congrats kid! Now I’m Spider-Man AND your gay uncle
