Hi! Can I please request an Innocent! Yandere x Knowledgable! Reader????
maybe yandere doesn't know why they feel this way, about YOU of all people. Reader knows exactly what's going on, and only encourages our dear sweet yandere, because they just look so adorable as they hold you so close, begging you to never leave them!!!
(p.s. if you're accepting emoji anons, could I be 👾?)
yes yes YES you get me and i hope i got you here because i LOVE LOVE LOVE this!!!! this kinda got away with me so i may come back to make it more coherent later but i just can't keep it to myself anymore! also p.s. to 👾: i do read your messages and they always bring a smile to my face! you're really so kind, thank you so much for your endless support it means more than you could know!! (also i'm gonna be responding to asks/messages as i get back into the swing of things so nobody think you've been forgotten!) okok i'm done now i hope you enjoy!!<3
concept: Innocent!Yandere(gn) x Enabler!Reader(gn)
words: ~2.1k
CW: 18+, mild NSFW, yandere behavior, manipulation, delusional thinking, scent spit sweat and all that fun gross stuff
Ren is a master of self-control.
They’ve had to become one ever since meeting you, and it has not been an easy undertaking.
Their entire reality was thrown out the window with just your polite greeting smile, their soul left their body when your hand shook theirs; they still swear they could feel your sheer radiance emanating from just your palm.
Something in them changed that day, something beautiful and grotesque and visceral, and it’s only getting worse in the days that follow.
They get frustrated with themself frequently, especially in the beginning. Why can’t they just be normal about you?
Why does your very presence cause their body to get so hot and feverish, their legs losing all strength as their heartbeat roars in their ears until all they can even think of is you you you?
Why does your voice send their stomach flipping and their skin tingling with goosebumps? Why can’t they stop imagining it saying all these different disgusting, perverted things to them?
Why can they never find words when you talk to them, why are they constantly stammering and spluttering their way through conversations as they try not to melt at your fond, just-this-side-of-condescending smile?
Why does every part of you fill their head with incoherent, overwhelmingly lustful thoughts? Why do they want to lick across your stomach, to run their teeth over your arms, to bury their face in your armpit until their lungs and body and mind are full of only you?
Why do they get the urge to pick your chewed gum from the trashcan and suck on it to know what your spit tastes like? Why does it taste so good? Why can’t they stop doing it?
(Why did you suddenly start chewing gum so much more often?)
Every interaction with you is a test of willpower, and the difficulty only rises as the two of you grow closer.
The first time you invited Ren to your house, they could've collapsed right there (they almost did, but you caught their arm with an easy grin that had them hurrying off to the bathroom, clutching the burning spots your fingers had occupied).
Of course, it wasn't the first time they'd been to your place. They'd actually held off a full week before they gave in to the urge to follow you home (you were almost offended it had taken that long).
But it's different being here with your knowledge, and being inside where it smelled like you, where your personality oozed from every decoration and knick-knack that populated the place, where your skin cells and sweat have soaked into the furniture- something about the proximity brings out the worst in them, they can't help but bury their face in your couch cushions every time you leave the room, they hope they're subtle enough while sliding their tongue over the armrests when you look away (they are not).
They aren't proud of the whole ‘breaking-and-entering’ thing, but they have gotten pretty good at it (once you adjusted your security system and locks to account for them, of course. They still don’t know about the hidden cameras around your home that you watch back in the mornings; they look so adorable when they’re sneaking about!).
Not a night has gone by without them watching over your slumber since their first visit. It's just too tempting, the sight of you sleeping so peacefully, spread out and lax with your mouth slightly open, a thin line of drool trailing your lip that they so terribly need to taste- and, besides, it's also for your safety! With how easy it was for them to get in here, who knows what kinds of creeps might try something when you're so vulnerable?
Really, they have to be in here to defend you from potential intruders!
(Ren is the first and only person you’ve ever gotten a security alert for.)
They feel guilty for stealing from you, too; it keeps them up at night, beyond what their souvenirs do, but they just can’t stop. It started small, just old lip balms and drink bottles, nothing you would miss, but these crumbs of your presence mean the world to them, and each one just leaves them wanting more.
So, gradually, against every decent instinct in their body, Ren went for bigger prizes: an old pair of nail clippers, a notebook lying forgotten under your bed that looks like it’s been handled plenty, and, on a particularly bold occasion, they snagged one of your cheapest looking ‘toys’- just to have around! They swear! They don’t sleep with it jammed against their mouth or anything!
(Your toys are locked up now, you don’t have the disposable income to sustain that particular addiction. You’ve taken to buying cheaper underwear too, because you know you won’t be seeing them again once they come off your body. You have half a mind to ask for some higher-quality pieces back, but you don’t want to spoil the fun too soon; you're mostly just grateful they've been sparing with your outerwear, but who knows how long that'll last...)
Originally, they had hoped that satiating their appetite for you at home would make it easier to be near you, but it hasn't (you've made certain of that).
In fact, it's almost like they're getting more sensitive to you the longer they hang around; the littlest things will set them off now.
Just your hand on their shoulder to get their attention has them vibrating out of their skin, just your arm flexing as you open a door has drool pooling in their mouth, and when you lean around them to look at something, just your breath barely grazing their face has them biting back whimpers.
But it’s getting even worse as you two get more comfortable around each other, it’s harder and harder for Ren to remind themself to be normal when you keep letting them further into your life, as if they belong there.
How are they supposed to be normal when you invite them over for dinner? And how are they supposed to stay conscious when they find out you’re cooking it? And how are they supposed to keep their heart from beating out of their chest when they come over to see you puttering about the kitchen like a snapshot from one of their domestic wet dreams? And how are they supposed to stay on their feet, to keep from choking on a litany of moans and whimpers, when you raise your sauce-covered finger to their mouth and say ‘taste’? And how are they supposed to not hyperventilate in your bathroom for a half hour afterward as they desperately relieve themself through their pants?
It's downright unreasonable.
And then there's the cuddling.
Ren knows that friends can cuddle, that there's nothing inherently sexual or romantic about intimate physical contact, but their body does not get the message.
It's the sweetest form of torture they've ever been subjected to.
It was innocent enough at first, you’d wrap an arm around them or lay your head on their shoulder, and that alone would send them catatonic. But when you first laid in their lap, Ren felt each neuron in their brain short-circuit as every nerve-ending in their body was lit ablaze- it took a good while for them to convince themself they weren't dreaming (this quickly became your favorite spot).
Soon, though, Ren would wish they dreaming, if only to save them the humiliation (they wouldn't really, they'd never give up a second of your presence, no matter how excrutiating).
They try to pull back, to be good, but it's so hard.
They can't help the way their body pushes into yours, like some magnetic force causing them to press closer closer closer. They can't stop their arms from wrapping around you, clinging to you so desperately like your the only thing anchoring them to earth, every square inch of their skin in contact with yours tingling and warm and right and they need more. They can't keep from pulling you closer, pressing harder, writhing against you like they're trying to squirm under your skin, their breaths coming heavier and faster as their movements get more frantic and discordant and fevered, their senses and thoughts tortuously and wonderfully overwhelmed with you and you and you.
Then they suddenly go very tense. Then they relax. And you turn up the TV as you settle more comfortably against them. And they try not to let the mess in their pants seep through.
They're doing their best.
By this point, Ren is just endlessly thankful that you haven't noticed their... affliction yet. They often feel guilty about taking advantage of your trust and kindness, but they can’t help feeling lucky too.
For the most part.
Your friends know, Ren is fairly certain, but they can’t just leave you be whenever you spend time with other people, and you don’t seem to mind how standoffish and clingy they are when you’re out together anyway.
(Your friends have raised several concerns, but you just like the feeling of being the center of Ren’s attention no matter who or what is around you, and feeling their hands tighten on your arm whenever a friend gets too close, and watching their breathing quicken as the jealousy steadily overcomes them, and maybe even watching a more touchy acquaintance squirm under Ren’s intense stare until they leave early, and then never questioning why that acquaintance is suddenly nowhere to be seen again. It’s really none of your concern, let alone your friends’.)
Ren tries not to let other people get them too nervous, they just remind themself how easygoing and nonchalant you’ve been since the beginning; if they haven’t scared you off themself yet, your friends probably won’t have much better luck.
You seem to have no qualms with spending every waking hour with them, save for when you lock the bathroom door behind you. You met them with a familiar wave and smile the first time they showed up at your work unannounced, and then the same each time after that. You didn’t even blink when they stuttered their way around a request to share locations, you just shrugged an affirmative and grabbed their phone from their trembling hands.
You’ve never confronted them about the things that go missing after nearly every visit to your home (you know they can’t help themself, and they just look too cute when they’re desperately tucking your toothbrush into their bag like they can’t stop their fingers!), you never give a second glance when you seem to catch them sneaking a photo of you (they’re laughably unsubtle, it’s all you can do to save their pride in the moment each time), you never comment on how feverish and clammy they are whenever you touch them (except to ask if they’re feeling okay and drinking enough water, it’s so fun to watch them melt even further at just your expression of care), and you never even say anything about how often they ‘just happen’ to run in to you on the rare occasions they haven’t scheduled themself into your day (it’s always nice to see their watery smile and puppy dog eyes!).
Every time Ren thinks they’ve pushed too far, that they’ve exposed themself for being some kind of perverted stalker, you just give them this easy smile and go right along; they're actually a little concerned about your apparent naivety, they just count themself lucky that they found you before some ill-intentioned creep could.
It’s a tightrope walk the whole way, constantly unsure of what minor misstep will end up revealing the depths of their obsession and doing them in, but Ren can’t keep themself away from you.
One day, they’ll learn to cope, to be normal and palatable and right, and then they can tell you how they feel. Then the two of you can have a proper relationship, like none of this mess ever happened with them. Then they can tell you that they love you without feeling guilt twisting their gut, and then you can say it back without them agonizing over tainting it, and then you two can finally be together, the right way.
And Ren is certain that they'll get there, though it may be hard and grueling and nigh-impossible, it will happen.
Because Ren loves you, horribly and all-consumingly, and they are a master of self-control.
thanks so much for reading! feel free to send a request <3
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