I was thirteen years old, tracing the name of my soulmate over and over again with my index finger. My family had just moved across the country, to a nice suburban area just an hour away from the city. I had been sad to leave my sleepy hometown, sure, but it felt like the world was opening up for me. Winston, read the name on my wrist. There hadn’t been a Winston where I grew up, and everybody knew it. It was one of those small towns, where everybody knew everybody else. Kids would whisper behind my back, wondering who this mysterious “Winston” was. Adults would pat my head and tell me to be patient. I definitely wasn’t the only person in town to have a “missing” soulmate, but it felt like I was the only one who was bothered by those comments. For everybody else, that’s just the way things were. Soulmates were important, after all. The person you were destined to be with. It did sound nice, in a way. As I continued to run my finger across my wrist, I smiled. Our new home was so much bigger, I was certain I would find him! And then I wouldn’t have to worry about what anybody else said. I imagined what he would be like, once I met him. I pictured someone quiet and intelligent, like me. I bet he liked books, especially mysteries. He would be so kind, the type of person you could easily fall in love with. I couldn’t wait to meet him.
The beginning of high school was rough. I was a naturally introverted person, and I struggled to make new friends. I didn’t hear about anybody named Winston around school. I felt lonely, empty. I ate lunch alone, sitting underneath a nice tree. I hoped that it made me seem mysterious and artsy to any outside observers, instead of pathetic and alone like I really felt. Then, one afternoon, a boy approached my tree in the corner.
“Hey, you’re in my english class, right? My name is Jackson, what’s yours?”
I deflated a little, hearing his name. A part of me hoped that my soulmate would be the one to come save me from my lonliness.
“Sara. I’m new around here.”
“Nice to meet you, Sara! Do you wanna come hang out with my friends? I can introduce you!”
“Yeah… that sounds nice.”
He offered me his hand. As I reached to take it, I caught a glimpse of the tattoo on his wrist. Valerie. My hand clasped around his, and he pulled me up. I wasn’t alone, after that. Jackson was a very friendly person, always carrying a conversation and making sure everybody felt included. We became fast friends, and I became an integral part of his ever-expanding circle of friends. Whenever things felt rough, he’d be there to brighten my day. I felt comfortable around him. Jackson made me feel… happy.
I was sixteen when Jackson smiled at me and I realized I was in love. I panicked, honestly. Sure, people dated outside of their soulmates, but it was usually a very temporary arrangement. I didn’t want to ruin what I had. Jackson and I never talked about soulmates much. He had gotten dumped by a girl because she suddenly found her soulmate, so it was a bit of a sore subject for him. At least he was open to the idea of dating outside of his soulmate? I groaned, falling back onto my bed. I looked at the Winston tattooed on my wrist. I remember all of the things I had heard growing up. I would meet him eventually. He was my soulmate. I just had to be patient. Then I thought about the deep lonliness I had felt before. I thought about all the good memories I had made with my new friends. Winston hadn’t saved me from that lonliness. Winston hadn’t introduced me to the friends I would come to treasure dearly. No, Jackson had done that. Jackson was my closest friend and I wasn’t going to lose him because I was still waiting for some Winston to come and sweep me off my feet. At that moment, I knew that I was making the right choice.
When Jackson accepted my confession, I cried out of sheer relief. He laughed gently and pulled me close. He said that he never really believed in the whole soulmate business anyway, and that some Valerie couldn’t replace how special I was to him. I giggled and just replied with a simple “I love you.” People saw how in love we were, but claimed that it wasn’t meant to last. To their surprise, we lasted over a month, the average length of non-soulmate relationships. Then a month turned into six months, and six months turned into a year, and soon we had graduated high school. We stuck together through college, shocking everybody who didn’t know us well. We moved into an apartment together, and our relationship was still as strong as ever. For our fifth anniversary, Jackson got us matching bracelets with each other’s names etched into them. They were just big enough to cover our natural soulmate tattoos. I loved them. Finally getting to see his name on my wrist felt right.
We had been dating for seven years when it happened. I was carrying some packages back to our apartment when a man I didn’t recognize noticed me. I must’ve seemed like I was struggling to hold onto everything, because he came over and offered to help me. I unlocked the door to my apartment and set everything inside. I turned to the man, who looked to be in his twenties.
“Thanks for the help. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before?”
He smiled softly. “Ah, probably not… I just moved into the apartment a couple doors down. My name is Winston. And you are…?”
He held out his hand for a handshake, and my blood ran cold. On his wrist, clear as day, was Sara. I faltered, not knowing what to do.
“Y-Yeah! I’m Valerie!” I said, saying the first female name that came to my head. Which happened to be the name on my boyfriend’s wrist. This was fine, right?
“Ooookay? Nice to meet you, Valerie.”
We shook hands, and I felt a pit forming in my stomach.
“Thanks again for helping me. Why don’t you come in for some tea as thanks?”
I knew I was playing with fire, but I couldn’t help being curious about who my soulmate was. Who was this man I had daydreamed about since I was a kid? Funnily enough, he was incredibly close to the guy I had imagined. He was gentle and softspoken. He loved reading, and he was an aspiring mystery novelist. The more I talked to him, the more he felt like an old friend, somebody I had known for years. He told me that he was new to the city and he felt like a fish out of water. I felt a pang in my chest, remembering those early days of high school. I knew Winston could use a friend. And if that friend had to be me… so be it. I explained the situation to Jackson, and I promised him it wouldn’t change things between us. Both of us became good friends with Winston. He still believed my name was Valerie, and when he asked about why I always covered my wrist I claimed that my tattoo had been warped in a childhood accident. There had been cases of tattoo injuries in the past, so it wasn’t that outlandish of a lie. But other than that, the three of us became close friends.
One day I received a text from Winston, and my heart dropped.
“Come over to my apartment. I have something important to talk about. Bring Jackson.”
“He knows. He know, and now he’s going to hate me forever,” I cried.
“You don’t know that,” Jackson said.
However, my fears were confirmed when we entered Winston’s apartment. Next to him sat a petite blonde girl, and she looked pissed. Winston’s expression was deadly serious. Jackson and I silently took a seat across from the pair.
“You’re name isn’t Valerie, is it?” Winston said.
“Yeah, your name isn’t Valerie because that’s my goddamn name! And Jackson is my soulmate, not yours!” The girl seethed, flashing her soulmate tattoo. There it was, on her wrist. Jackson.
“You’re name is Sara, isn’t it?” Winston continued.
I took off my bracelet and showed him.
“We’re soulmates. And you never told me. Why?”
“Why the hell do you think? It’s cuz she’s stolen my soulmate and she doesn’t want to lose him!” Valerie growled.
“Hey, look, Sara didn’t steal anybody. We’ve been together for years, and we’re happy like this,” Jackson interjected.
“Winston, I’m sorry I lied to you. I really, really am. You’ve quickly become one of my closest friends, and I can say that with real confidence. I didn’t want you to expect a romantic relationship from me, because as close as we are, I’ve never felt the same romantic spark that I feel with Jackson. But… you’re still my soulmate. That won’t ever change,” I said.
“If you had just waited-“ Winston started.
“If I had waited, I would’ve missed out on seven amazing years with the love of my life. The two of us were meant to find each other, and I’m glad we did. But if I had waited, I could’ve lost what I’ve made for myself.”
“Can… can you really find love outside of your soulmate?” Winston asked. He seemed less angry and more uncertain.
Jackson swung an arm around my shoulder. “I think the two of us are living proof of that.”
“Hey! What about me!?” Valerie said.
“I’d love to get to know you, Valerie, but I’m afraid if you’re looking for romance I’m already taken.”
“I- ARGH!” Valerie stomped out of the apartment.
“Well, that’s a shame,” Jackson said.
“Really? She seems pretty mean,” I said.
“I’ll talk to her. She’s stubborn, but she’s not a bad person. She works at that coffee shop I like to write at,” Winston said.
“Maybe you two should date,” Jackson joked.
“W-what!? I don’t think I like her in that way…”
And with that, things slowly went back to how they’d been. I turned my bracelet over in my hand, and put it on my other wrist. That way, I could display the names of both of the people who had become so important to me.
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